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Mom not Being Madonna

posted 4/14/2010 5:10:50 PM |
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Has anyone had to come to grips with realizing that their mom was not June Cleaver or Edith Bunker, but had to deal with mom being promiscuous, sleazy, or slutty. Perhaps maybe even being a titty dancer, escort, or prostitute? If so, how did this impact you and your siblings?

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Apr 14 @ 5:21PM  
I know I just about fell over a couple of months ago when my sister told me she was a titty dancer for a year. That was shocking new news to me because she is not that type of woman. Her blunt answer was making ends meet & feeding her kids was priority.

Apr 14 @ 5:30PM  
Nope, my Mom was not any of the TV moms but she was a "good girl". In fact was a virgin til marriage, blah blah blah.. sigh. She's over it now though.. thank goodness. Now she's actually having fun with her life. At 66 she's allowed.

Apr 14 @ 5:36PM  
Kinda shocked when it wasn't my dad who was the only person who cheated in the relationship. But she was young and stupid and figured what was good for the gander...

Apr 14 @ 5:42PM  
Mine was no tv Mom but for other reasons. I have known a lot of women who did what they had to do to put a roof over their kids heads and food in their mouth. I knew one lady who worked as a stripper to put her kids through private schools and the best colleges they could get into. They knew what their mother did when they were older and were amazed at the lengths she would go to to make sure they had what they needed. I have also known moms who were strippers and drug addicts until social services took away their kids. Different people different perspectives on the same career choice.

Apr 14 @ 5:44PM  
Nope... My Mom Worked 27 the same place my Dad did!!! So they had... to Behave!!!!

Apr 14 @ 6:37PM  
My mom was none of the above! but my friends mom was...and it impacted him in a bad need a mom, not a best friend or a budy. Not someone who lets them drink, and smoke at 14.

Apr 14 @ 6:55PM  
Not someone who lets them drink, and smoke at 14.

I never drank near mom, but she did allow me to smoke at 14. She was a good mom till I talked her out of it a few years back Now at 74 her b/f spends the night with her That discussion is worth its own blog

Apr 14 @ 7:11PM  
My mom was June Cleaver, June Lockhart in Lassie AND June Lockhart in Lost In Space all rolled into one! She was a great mom and I learned so much from her growing up- however one area she lacked in was information about sex! Of course her generation never discussed such a thing- it was taboo! So I've always wished I'd had more information regarding sex before I did it the first I'm making sure to be open with my son about the subject- so he's well informed.
The other bad thing about my mom was the fact that she was the school district's guidance counselor- the district where I went to school!! Do you have any idea how flippin hard it was being a "teacher's" daughter? OMG! I'm scarred for life LOL

Apr 14 @ 7:40PM  
My problem (through self experience) are the people that hypocritically attempt to be June Cleaver on the outside but inside they are more like Joan Crawford.

As far as child psychology goes, children are ready to accept roles within a family even if they are not prepared to do so physically, mentally or emotionally. This is because children are almost by definition exceptionally loyal family members.

It's one thing to have the circumstance of being a sensual or violent element. Being a stripper or a boxer (or even someone with a less legal aspect) that has a child will not in-and-of-itself damage that child.

When the guardian crosses the line is when they involve the child in an inappropriate way. Training with dad who is a boxer or taking junior to the gym to meet other boxers is cool. Training a child as if they were an adult or subjecting them to watch a particularly violent match is traumatic.

That a child knows their mother is a dancer or an escort is, likewise, not a problem. Subjecting a child to the complex emotions of sexuality before they have matured is.

Apr 14 @ 8:07PM  
Thank you all for your comments!

Apr 14 @ 8:41PM  
I'm sorry...but, my Mom most definitely falls into the June Cleaver category. The most "rebellious" thing she ever did in her lifetime was smoking cigarettes. I remember my teens and early 20's and still living at home. I would get higher than a kite smoking pot...walk right past my Mom and she was clueless. My Dad on the other hand...he had 2 pals of his that were pot heads, plus, he worked for GM, and in those days, they smoked pot, dealt it openly, so...walking by my Dad reeking of pot...never would have gotten away with it. No matter how much visine and perfume I may have used. So...for Mom to fall under the "promiscuous" She's even told me Dad is the one and only that she ever dated.

Apr 14 @ 8:50PM  
My problem (through self experience) are the people that hypocritically attempt to be June Cleaver on the outside but inside they are more like Joan Crawford.

The public and private persona can be quite different.

Apr 15 @ 12:39AM  
I never really knew my mom .... she got mentally ill and my father had to choose between taking care of her or his five young children.

Never really had a mother figure to speak of either ...

It just would have been nice.

However despite all that ... I'm a damn good mom ... however they did get condoms in their christmas stocking when they were 14 .. and told there are worse things out there than getting a girl pregnant...
there are really bad diseases and perverts who molest their own daughters ... and to be careful.

Apr 15 @ 1:36AM  
nope. nodda. and they weren't the Cleavers, but responsible loving individuals. I had it made when it came to parents who were cool, calm, and collected. If ya want to call them normal than do so...but based on real life interaction...what's normal is only what's normal for you....Now my birthrite mother...slut, whore, drunk, bitch and all the other fucked up shit you can imagine...Just glad she didn't raise me.

Apr 15 @ 9:46AM  
I had the best parents anyone could ever ask for
Mom was a hard working lady who never drank more than a beer and never smoked..
My Dad, however, when Mom was out of town visiting my aunts or uncles,
was a helluva guy to party with

Apr 15 @ 9:56AM  
My mother conceptually was Edith Bunker. She never smoked and rarely drank. When she did drink it was a gimlet at a restaurant and two gimlets were too many. She had a high voice like a seven year old girl and she would get loud and giggly. She would say things that made no sense and start laughing and you couldn't figure out what was so funny. When you asked her to explain it, she would and you couldn't figure out what was so funny, nobody could.

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Mom not Being Madonna