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It's My Money and I Want It NOW!!!

posted 3/31/2010 12:22:45 PM |
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My morning started with that Its My Money and I want it now.......Where Timmy asks his mother don't they have structured payments.........."Yes we do, but without one large payment we are going to lose the farm" Timmy says to Lassie Lassie we need help and he runs and gets that FG whatever guy.................Now its bad enough that my 4 yr old granddaughter runs around the house screaming Its my money and I want it now...........but to drag Lassie into it.........may those bastards burn in hell!!!

Actually my morning started at hour before this commercial when I was awakened to the left side of my body being totally numb. I laid there with horrible thoughts racing through my mind.........My God had I had a stroke in the night (you would think I would have awaken for that event.......but since i have never had a stroke...I don't know) Oh auto Immune disease has eaten partially through my spinal cord and soon I will be totally paralyzed. No this is not something that could happen but when your left side is totally numb strange thoughts come into your somewhat empty head. I knew I needed to call out for help but would my voice work, OMG what if I opened my eyes and I couldn't see? Wait a minute, opening my eyes might be a good idea...........and there laid my 4 yr old granddaughter sprawled over the left side of my body.........Oh good I haven't had a stroke..............YET!!!

IF you have noticed me around more in the last few days.......(wow is that arrogance or what......Like you all sit there thinking wow Dayna hasn't been here for 3 days 7 hrs, 52 minutes and 9 seconds) I have been sick for about 4 days.......getting worse each day. Bad enough I made an extra doctor's appointment over my normal ones, and those who know me know I hate going to the doctor. I can't get in to see my primary......she is in very much demand so they asked me if I had a preference. This is the clinic that I went to all of my childhood and most of my adult life, but since returning to MN my primary is the only one I have seen and really don't know the rest..........except reputation only. Now I don't necessarily listen to gossip but this doctor wrote letters to our local newspaper calling gays, and biracial people being an abomination to God........Don't you love how people can make hateful comments in the name of God?

So I told the receptionist that my only preference was that it wasn't Dr. Hoffman, but now I wonder if I didn't make a mistake. What I am about to say next, I do not want anyone to get their panties in a wad......of course this is not my belief but what if I had went to this doctor.......I imagine him saying so what is the problem today........Well doc, I have an auto immune disease from Lyme Disease that went misdiagnosed and untreated for a year and a half. I should have known I couldn't trust that tick, it was black you know. Anyway the last few days I have had a really burning stomach and heartburn. I thought I had caught it from my bi racial granddaughter but she seems pretty healthy. Other than my daughter, the only other person who has come over lately is my Lesbian Niece. At this point I would lower my voice and in a whisper say......Lesbians don't carry different diseases than us white folks do they? Than I would go on.....I was sitting down reading the Qur’an, and trying to decide if I was going to give up my Buddhist beliefs for Muslim, when I realized if I didn't get to the bathroom really quick I was going to poopie my pants. (I always use the term poopie with doctors, it seems so more in the medical terminology than I SHEET MY PANTS!!) anyway.......when I was done and I wiped my butt.......I would again lower my voice and whisper It was black you think that comes from living with my bi racial granddaughter or cause we had fried chicken for dinner.......(good stereotyping there eh? I actually had a salad.........) So I would than go on not giving him a chance to speak.......cause after all I already knew what this God fearing man thought.......

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Mar 31 @ 12:23PM  
When ever I have to deal with Bible Thumpers I try to go out of my way speaking against the word of God.........even tho I truly believe in Him. I just don't think God would want anyone to speak of his views like the good old doctor does, and figure God will forgive me long before he forgives the Doc. I would continue on........You know Doc, I went on a diet a little over a week ago cause I am morbidly obese........(cause you only have to be 30 lbs overweight to fall in that category but since I am more than 30 lbs overweight, it does not bother me to say that.......but what I would tell him next probably will bother me but I won't stop) I read your letters in the newspaper about biracial people being more inclined to be overweight than white people and I just want you to know that I am white........or at least that's what my mama told me, but hell she could have lied after all she was pregnant before she married my daddy and you know how those promiscuous women are such liars. Oh hell, I was pregnant too before I got married, so do you think that I am sick because of that, because I am still leaning towards that damn black tick. Now i do have sex with my boyfriend and we are not married, but hell I am getting old with no plans of ever remarrying, do you think that's what has caused me to be sick, cause if it is, I would say someone has been taking their own sweet time for punishing me, I have been sleeping with the man for over 6 months with no intentions of stopping. Hey when its good its good, and if it causes me to be ill, I'll take my chances. I didn't stop sleeping with my children's father and morning sickness was a lot worse than this.

I wonder at what point he would realize that I have been making all this shit up, well other than the fact I am really sick and need to know what is going bet is on my ulcer is kicking up but I want to know for sure........and hey you never know it might be as he says and I can really blame...............the black tick..........

Anyway........I decided to choose a different doctor who I can get into see tomorrow. The receptionist said You will like her she is a woman too. Wow....does that make a difference? I once had a doctor who was a lesbian and my best friend said she would never go to a doctor who was a lesbian because she was a woman too and that's what lesbians look for. (You got to love the mentality of someone who never lived more than 3 miles from where she was raised and never finished high school) I told her if she went to a doctor who was male and straight she would still be the type that the doctor was looking for.........but she stood adamant on the subject and i continued going to see my Lesbian doctor.........who by the way never did hit on me, which kinda made me sad, another gender who rejected me. I told the receptionist it had nothing to do with whether the doctor was female or not, my choice of not seeing Dr.Hoffman was his God Fearing Beliefs.........she laughed and said yea we get that a lot. Now my doctor, a woman (not that that matters) also wrote letters to the Local newspaper to tell people that Dr.Hoffman's beliefs were in no way the beliefs of the rest of the doctors or the clinic. But I can see why his appt book is open enough to get people in anytime. Although I am sure there are a few that hold the same beliefs as he does...........My only hope is that their son comes home for Easter to announce he is going to marry his "best Friend" Mark and they will be adopting a biracial child by Christmas.

I was suppose to take a ride with my daughter this morning to a town about an hour away to pick up some stuff from a lady there, but instead I am home munching on Tums and hoping I will feel better when my honey comes over to watch a movie tonight. Its rather embarrassing to have to pause the movie to go puke......but i imagine I could always blame my biracial granddaughter. So instead of taking a ride, I am watching some TV, I was going to watch the Golden Girls but they have a black and white dog on there today, so instead I am watching the Learning Channel. What Not To Wear is on, and although they have said in the past that denim skirts are for people under 30 and I love mine, I really enjoy watching people who dress worse than I do.........even tho I do suspect that Clinton (one of the hosts) is might be that he just has an eye for color and design and his wrist is a little limp......not that it really matters cause I think hes a honey...........and thank god for gay men cause it gives us fat women someone to dance with. Its amazing the difference in peoples beliefs isn't it, white is better and only the other races get sick. I tend to hold true to what TheSkwirl said years ago.......the only race is the human race.........even tho the tick is still at fault for most of my illness........I was really brown.

I hope everyone is having a great day and just remember my motto..........In God we Trust...everyone else pays with cash...................

Mar 31 @ 2:00PM  
A Pagan dies and, to his great surprise, he finds himself standing before some pearly gates. St. Peter asks him, "May I help you?"

The Pagan asks, "Where am I?"

Peter says, "You're at the gates of heaven."

The Pagan says, "But I don't believe in heaven."

Peter frowns at him. "You're one of those Pagans, aren't you?"

"Yes. I believe I'm in the wrong place; I'm supposed to go to Summerland."

Peter says, "Sorry. We took over Summerland, and it's temporarily closed for remodeling."

"What should I do now?"

Peter says, "Well, since we don't allow Pagans in heaven, you have to go to hell. Sorry. Just follow that path that leads downward and to the left."

The Pagan walks down to hell, where the gates are standing open. He walks in and finds beautiful meadows, happy animals, and clear streams of water.

He walks on in and begins exploring, and after a few minutes a courtly gentleman walks up to him and bows politely. "Hello, I'm Satan. You must be the guy that St. Peter phoned me about. Are you a Pagan?"

"Yes, I am. What's going to happen now?"

Satan says, "Well, the fishing's pretty good, if you enjoy that sort of thing. There's a little refreshment stand down the road. And I believe the Pagan meeting grounds are right over the next hill."

Suddenly, a hole opens up in the sky above, and a yawning chasm opens directly underneath it. The stench of sulphur fills the air. Hundreds of screaming, tortured souls drop down into the flaming pit, which immediately closes up with a thud.

The Pagan, hardly believing what he just saw, asks Satan, "And what was THAT ???"

Satan rolls his eyes. "Oh, just ignore them. They're Fundies, they wouldn't have it any other way."

Mar 31 @ 2:26PM  
Oh, just ignore them. They're Fundies, they wouldn't have it any other way."

I live in the bible belt, and that just about sums it up pretty well.

Mar 31 @ 4:08PM  
A lot of small minds in small towns.

Mar 31 @ 5:22PM  
green thingy to you....that was funny and worth the read.

Mar 31 @ 6:54PM  
Hey! my doc is an old bull dyke...But he/she's cool

Even if she does charge 130 bucks for a five minute BS session and running her
stethoscope over me a few times..
Thank Hank, The God Of All Parking Lots, for insurance

Mar 31 @ 6:58PM  
When I lived in Duluth there was doctor there that was a quack. I went to him while I still in high school..I don't care what you went in for he always asked the same question. "how is your sex life". I went for a ear infection one time and got asked the same question. What does a ear infection have to do with sex? He was good for writing excuses for school. I hated going swimming. Our school had a pool, I would go to the doctor and get a excuse so I didn't have to go to swim class. I would tell him I had a yeast infection or something. I heard he was also good for giving out pill's. And he loved to do surgery. My step dad told me he was the best surgeon around. I wouldn't let him do surgery on my dog. They finally did take his licence. He left a surgical tool in a patient he was doing surgery on. Great doctor.
I can't find a normal doctor where I live now. I had one for my thryoid but he moved away. The one's here suck. I drive two hours to see my NEUROSURGEON. I saw him about 5 months ago. He said he was moving to Florida. Now I have to search again.

We have a lot of foreigners for doctor's..I want one that I can understand..Speaks english.

Great Blog Dayna

Mar 31 @ 8:08PM  
This was an interesting read, Dayna

Mar 31 @ 10:45PM  
girl...ya frikkin' crack me this to hubby and he laughed....tried calling ya the other day, no answer, maybe I'll try again tomorrow. Love ya, doll!

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