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Changes To The Dictionary

posted 3/21/2010 8:52:04 AM |
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tagged: fuck, funny, sunshine
  Sunshine79

What these words should mean:

Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.

Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.

Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, "made the dinner."

Blonde jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can understand them.

Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. Gotta get married in a church.

Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks.

Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.

Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game.

Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.

Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.

Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician."

Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. Similar to a black hole in space-if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.

Childbirth (child*brth) n. You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say "focus,...breath...push..."

Lipstick (lip*stik) n. On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...!

Park (park) v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.

Patience (pa*shens) n. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers."

Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.

Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.

Anybody wanna fuck?

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Comments:

post a comment!

PinkToeNails

Mar 21 @ 8:59AM  
Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.

I sent that one to my friend Kay... that is SOOO her!!!
burdinep

Mar 21 @ 9:22AM  
Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.





well a smart man knows this one as soon as he begins dating.....goes along with whats hers is hers and whats yours is hers to
RevDocLove

Mar 21 @ 9:50AM  
Ain't that the truth???
B9CC1D

Mar 21 @ 12:28PM  
Purse (purs) A magical bag that can hold more than it was designed to, loose items you are looking for, and spontaneously generate items you don't need.

Jewelry (jool*ree) An acceptable demonstration of affection, given in proportional amounts.

Shoes (shooz) You need more of them.

Vibrator (vy*brae*tor*) Replaces Man (man). Easier to clean.
Cootiesprayer

Mar 21 @ 3:58PM  
rofl...these are great! another good one.
StraddleMyNose

Mar 21 @ 4:42PM  
Those were funny, Megan!
sugarnspice005

Mar 21 @ 6:33PM  
KitKat25

Mar 21 @ 9:14PM  
Blonde jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can understand them.

Amen

Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks.

Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.

These two ^^^^ are so true.

Cute blog Sunshine...Greenie!
goodman1959

Mar 21 @ 9:44PM  
Another winner Sunshine


of course
feather101

Mar 22 @ 4:07AM  
those are all very funny sadly though the bbq one i live, way to often
shyguy140

Mar 22 @ 9:00AM  
These are great

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Changes To The Dictionary