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13 Common Myths of St. Patrick's Day:

posted 3/16/2010 11:29:00 AM |
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Myth: Shamrocks are associated with the holiday because St. Patrick used them as a teaching tool for the pagan Celts he converted to Christianity. The Shamrock's 3 leaves symbolize the holy Trinity.
Reality: Shamrocks were just the first things Patrick saw when he woke up face down in a field after a particularly bad bender.

Myth: Leprechauns are famous for their little Lucky Charms.
Reality: A man’s height is not a reliable indicator of the size of his Lucky Charms.

Myth: "Luck of the Irish" refers to the abundance of Good Fortune long enjoyed by the Irish.
Reality: Good Fortune has included 1,000 years of invasion, colonization, exploitation, starvation and mass emigration. Then there was the "Gangs of New York" and as a final insult: those Colin Farrell sex tapes and the mere existence of Rosie O'Donnell.

Myth: Saint Patrick's name was Saint Patrick.
Reality: His real name was actually Maewyn Succat. He adopted Saint Patrick as his stage name when he began touring Ireland as a magician famous for his disappearing snake trick.

Myth: Kissing the Blarney Stone, located in County Cork, will grant you the ability to speak sweetly and persuasively.
Reality: Imagine the bored teenagers growing up in County Cork. Now can you not imagine that the Blarney Stone being the most pissed upon tourist attraction in Europe?

Myth: St. Patrick's Day is a traditional holiday to celebrate great friends and great food. The customary Irish family meal is a Quarter-pounder with a large Coke and potato fries. St. Patrick: "I'm lovin' it!"
Reality: This Myth was sponsored by McDonalds.

Myth: The Irish are the world's most poetic people
Reality: Limericks are to Poetry, as Paris Hilton is to Acting. In fact, the National Poet Laureate of Ireland has been named and it's...that Man from Nantucket.

Myth: St. Patrick's Day is a lot of fun with parades and games and merriment.
Reality: It's not just an innocent holiday. Think about this: if you rearrange the letters of SAINT PATRICK'S DAY... it spells out SATANIC KIDS PARTY! This would explain the perverted behavior of the Catholic Church.

Myth: When St. Patrick died on March 17, 460 A.D., his jawbone was preserved in a silver shrine and used to cure epilepsy, ease childbirth and defend against "evil eye".
Reality: St. Patrick’s jawbone is indeed the “Swiss Army Knife” of healing. While it may not exactly cure epilepsy, it has been shown to reduce dandruff and fight tooth decay!

Myth: St Patrick cleansed the snakes out of Ireland by driving them into the sea.
Reality: That story is a 100% fiction. The truth is that St. Patrick played his flute to lure all the rats out of the town and into the river.

Myth: Many young women think St. Patrick’s Day is a time to get drunk and experiment by kissing another girl in public.
Reality: According to St. Patrick, your actions will have you banished into a Lesbian Hell!

NOTE: Guys who make it into Heaven are allowed to visit Lesbian Hell to watch.

Myth: Green is the official color of St. Patrick's Day because it's the color of spring, shamrocks and fertility.
Reality: The official color is flashing red and blue as the officer writes out your DUI.

Myth: The Irish are constantly inebriated.
Reality: That's an ugly falsehood. Most are far too impoverished to purchase even the bargain whiskey they so desperately crave.

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Comments:

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RJ53

Mar 16 @ 11:42AM  
Myth: St Patrick cleansed the snakes out of Ireland by driving them into the sea.

In reality he was referring to the pagan people of Ireland as snakes who were forced to convert or at least pretend to or face death. He was not the good guy that some might think. I think it is great that people celebrate that day by getting drunk.
Sunshine79

Mar 16 @ 3:18PM  
Greenie!!
ShadowMale

Mar 16 @ 7:55PM  
In reality he was referring to the pagan people of Ireland as snakes who were forced to convert or at least pretend to or face death. He was not the good guy that some might think. I think it is great that people celebrate that day by getting drunk.

Depends on who's perspective. To the catholics at the time, he was the model of sainthood. Catholisism is as unaccepting to other ideas and theologies as islam. These two religions account for the vast majority of the bad perceptions non-religious people have against religion.

To each their own on what they believe so long as it doesn't impede others rights to believe as they wish, according to our constitution. But in order to get along with others, you must first realize that just because you don't agree with how others feel, doesn't make you right and them wrong. From a neutral stand point, an observer would see two people disagreeing over an opinion for which neither can prove or disprove. Therefore, neither can be "right" or "wrong."

You're free to express your opinion, but it won't make you any more right, or them any more wrong. You will just be yet again, pissing in the wind.

The supposed St. Patty's events happened ages ago, and today few people know why they are getting drunk... they just know they are getting drunk. For all they know, a bartender named Patrick was so good and slinging drinks, the catholic church elevated him to sainthood. So drink up everyone.... drink to St. bartender Patrick! And if your not catholic, and find the idea of sainthood offensive, drink to bartender Muhammad, or bartender Steinberg, or whatever floats your boat.
themama

Mar 16 @ 11:58PM  
Well I will be eating some good old Irish food and thinking of my what my grandparents went through before they came here to better their lives...

But on the other hand damning my other half for being Catholic... lol


Oh and getting nice and drunk.....Happy St. Patty's day....
DesertSmile

Mar 17 @ 1:24AM  
[/QUOTE]A man’s height is not a reliable indicator of the size of his Lucky Charms[QUOTE]

Ain't that the truth........


So cute...love it.
RJ53

Mar 17 @ 3:57AM  

The supposed St. Patty's events happened ages ago, and today few people know why they are getting drunk

As my mother's family came from Ireland I am pretty sure I do have my facts correct, but three things I do not get in arguments over is religion, politics and revisionist history.
ShadowMale

Mar 17 @ 9:10PM  
As my mother's family came from Ireland I am pretty sure I do have my facts correct, but three things I do not get in arguments over is religion, politics and revisionist history.

I wasn't intending an argument RJ. I only said supposed events because everyone knows how Irish tales grow after St' Patty drinking... It might be based on truth, but by the end of the night, you have to work harder to find it.
sugarnspice005

Mar 17 @ 10:02PM  
Myth: Green is the official color of St. Patrick's Day because it's the color of spring, shamrocks and fertility.
Reality: The official color is flashing red and blue as the officer writes out your DUI.

So true.

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13 Common Myths of St. Patrick's Day: