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How far is too far?

posted 3/7/2010 6:29:44 PM |
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tagged: thoughts
  sugarnspice005

As I was leaving work today, I saw a couple of co workers out on their cigarette break and stopped to chat with them for a few minutes. I noticed right away that the younger one, (she's 22 yrs old) was obviously upset. I could see she was trying not to cry. The other co worker filled me in:

A little background for those who don't know...I clean rooms at a hotel, and I will also work in laundry. These two I've worked with numerous times, and get along with them. There is another woman who works in laundry, she's nice, but, a bit of a bubble head, and 46yrs old.

Anyway, apparently she (the bubble head) asked the 22 yr old if she believed in God. To which the 22 yr old answered honestly that she didn't know. And somewhere in the course of the conversation...."bubble head" asked if the 22yr old ever "asked God" why he took her sister. Ok, this girl was quite close with her sister, and had taken her sister dying hard. So...she simply told "bubble head", "I don't want to talk about this please." To which, "bubble head" repeated the question a few more times, insisting that if she "asks God, she will get answers and can stop hurting"....Well, it got to a point where the 22 yr old went into a bathroom and stayed there long enough to get her emotions under control. Now, as to "bubble head"....she means well, but, sometimes she doesn't seem to "hear" when one says enough is enough. Like I said, nice person...just sometimes a bit of a bubble head. So now, the other girl doesn't want to work with her right now because she is still very upset. I didn't ask for details on what happened with her sister, but, I can tell by her reactions it had a traumatizing effect on her. She is close with one of the other girls she works with, and I told her to take her to our manager's office and tell him what has happened and see if maybe he can arrange it so they are not working together for a few days till this calms down.

I personally think after the first "I don't want to talk about it" was the appropriate time to get off the subject. When it comes to religion, I tend to stay away from that subject as it's really touchy with some people. And, when talking about personal losses, again, touchy subject. Sometimes we need to stop and realize that while we might think we are close to someone, there are still going to be things in that person's life they just aren't comfortable in sharing with just anyone and to respect that.

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Comments:

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RJ53

Mar 7 @ 6:40PM  
Yes I have run into quite a few people who take religious discussion way too far. The co-worker should have backed off IMO. I usually ran into people especially in the south on finding out I had different religious beliefs took it upon themselves to "save me". I just politely or not so politely depending on how rude they were bring let them know my personal beliefs were that, personal. If they did not take that hint I would tell them they had better be worrying about themselves before they took on other people. I just feel there are some things who should be left up to each person to decide for themselves.
Ewe_Wish

Mar 7 @ 6:44PM  
Personally I think the manager needs to do more than just make sure the girl doesn't have to work with bubble head again............for one thing he is possibly looking at a lawsuit for harassment..........so he is going to want to stop this immediately........as for bubblehead........well she sounds like........and I am only going on what i read here from you........she is a bible thumper. There is no way they will shut her up about preaching the word of God........its hard for your typical bible thumper to understand that there are people who don't believe in what she does.............(wow sounds like some of the ppl here...... )

This girl is going thru a enough of a rough time already..........she is probably doing everything in her own power to keep herself from falling apart completely.............now if it had been me.........I would have just said to Bubble head................the one thing I learned in life is...........if I have to shove something down someones throat to get them to believe in it............its probably not worth believing in.
RJ53

Mar 7 @ 6:56PM  
...........if I have to shove something down someones throat to get them to believe in it............its probably not worth believing in.

I just find it a lack of respect for other people when they do that. And you put that a lot nicer than I probably would have.
ynot7769

Mar 7 @ 7:00PM  
seems in MOST cases NO means NO...tho there have been those times..but that's just a different story .....
40DWM

Mar 7 @ 7:02PM  
I wonder how many many people have been 'turned off' from God by Old Biddies and "bubble head"s.

To say "God...took her sister".....(IMHO), is not only mean spirited, morally wrong,
but also factually inaccurate.

Wordsofwit

Mar 7 @ 8:52PM  
"Shut the fuck up" is sometimes an appropriate response.
StraddleMyNose

Mar 7 @ 9:19PM  
I agree with everyone else here. People need to quit harassing people
DeDe54

Mar 7 @ 9:24PM  
I have told you no many times Y, u still ask......

Sugs, shes a dumbass and needs to be told so...
KitKat25

Mar 7 @ 10:59PM  
I lived in the "bible belt" for quite a few years...and went to countless church functions when I was growing up. The ONLY way you can handle these types of people is to politely ask them ONCE to change the subject and if they persist...turn around and walk away. A few will actually follow you...at which time...I would give them a glare of "pure hate" and that would finally do the trick.

My grandpa was a preacher and I can live with and respect Christians, but faith is a very personal thing and I don't think ANYONE should be forced to discuss it if they are not comfortable doing so. Of course...this is JMHO.

Kudos on a good blog Sugar.
1bunny629

Mar 8 @ 12:43PM  
Hi Sugar...I keep getting confused by your pick cause you have had a dog pick up for so long I didn't think you were you!...Like you I work in a hotel It doesn't matter that I am only in the restaurant because everyone ends up running into each other. I have found that gossip is a large part of ones day at the hotel. I am not the type to gossip, but I sure do hear a mess of it and many don't hold back. It is ridiculous and starts arguments between associates and departments all the time. Why? I guess because people are bored. They need babysitting and most likely psychological help/
What the one lady said to the other about her sister was uncalled for to say the least. I imagine the one lady that is the bubble head has been in trouble for that type of behavior in the past. Not necessarily a bible thumper, but one that likes to push buttons and can't leave well enough alone. Will she learn from her mistakes?
It isn't likely.
I am sorry for the other girl and her loss. It should only be talked about when she wants to talk about it. Other than that, it should be a hush hush topic. Common sense has become a lost art. Softie just mentioned that in her newest blog. I wonder why that is?
Hugs, good to see you and I hope all goes well with the situation. M
Lisa46

Mar 8 @ 7:54PM  
Well just let me say I do believe in God. BUT its no ones business what I do or don't believe sooooo when I'm asked I have in the past said I'm an athiest And they usually leave me alone. I spent alot of my youth in Church, and I don't believe in cramming anyone down someones throat. Like I told my mom, Its between me and God he loves me even if I don't go to Church and give money I ain't got. Oh wait that is anohter blog. Sorry Sugar I got off track. I agree with you about letting the manager know what happened
girlcountry

Mar 8 @ 8:38PM  
Let me give a little different perspective here...as some of you know, I was raised a preachers kid..we were at the church whenever the doors were open! My twin brother and I got sick of it...as I grew older, I got away from the "church", so to say. My beliefs today are my own...as I say on FB...sort of a conglomeration of what life has taught me and what I was raised to believe in. As to losing one's sibling...I lost my twin brother...I won't go into details here...but it was the worst time of my life. The "bubblehead" needed to shut the hell up....pushing something on someone isn't going to make anything better. We all deal with grief in our own way and there is no timetable to "get over it"...sometimes it will always be a gaping wound in our souls.

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How far is too far?