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Up on the Auction Block

posted 3/7/2010 4:47:07 PM |
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tagged: ynot
  Ewe_Wish

Today we have a new show for our local AMD Channel.....F.U.C.K. This show will give everyone a chance to bid on a certain member of AMD. Today on the Auction Block is Ynot..........although he is eligible for the Antique Roadshow, we got him first. Your auctioneer for this segment is your very own Ewe_wish.......

Ewe_wish patiently standing at the podium.......She pulls her cigerettes, cell phone,lighter, the number to Borty's lab, a pair of Father Max's Speedos and some index cards out of her pocket...........after putting everything back into her pocket she starts reading off the cards.......
...
Ewe_wish: Ynot please stand up on the auction block in your black thong. Ynot stands up............Ewe_wish looks up from her cards..... OH MY!!! Ynot please go to the dressing room and either put on something else or at least a second thong.............I told you earlier to just hang out here for a while........but this was not my intentions............

Ewe_wish: We will take a commercial break while we wait for Ynot to get something else on.........let's hear from our number one sponsor here at F.U.C.K., the Trojan Condom company..........Whose motto is .........You can't go wrong, if you cover your dong. Oh here comes Ynot again..........and Ladies (and gentlemen ) he has what he use to wear back in the day of his being a troll slayer..........How sleek he looks in his one piece speedo made out of pink Lycra, the blue tights hugging his muscular thighs.....and the red cape with the big Trollslayer trademark.

Ynot gets back up on the auction block and starts flexing his biceps............

Ewe_wish: Ladies, just look at the body on Ynot, how sleek how firm......how................Borty what the hell are you doing...............

Borty: Climbing away from Ynot Sorry Ewe_wish, I was just checking to see if those panties he was wearing were ones I made.........

Ynot: Indignant They are not yours Borty, I stole these from Father Max myself...........

Ewe_wish: clearing her throat.....Gentlemen can we please get back to the auction.......Now ladies how this auction works is you must bid on Ynot. We will consider all acceptable bids.............remember you are not just bidding against the ladies here..........but we are also taking phone bids...........Shall we start the auction?

Ewe_wish: Can I hear 10,000 dollars, 10,000? 5000? can I hear a 5000? 2500? Can I hear 2500? 1000? 500? 100? 50? OK lets start from the bottom and go up..........can I hear a dollar from anyone.....dollar? Thank you Sunshine..... I have a dollar.........can I hear 2 dollar..........2? 2? Yes we will take that bid....I have a bid of 1 dollar and half of a mocha cappuccino from Casuallylooking.... do I hear 2? No Ynot you can not bid, there is no running up the bids. I have a bid from Borty of 2 dollars............I am sorry Borty, no you can not split up this parcel, if you want a cape like his you will need to order one...........so I have a 1 dollar and a half of a cappuccino. Ladies look at this fine...cough...specimen of manhood........and lets face it that speedo does show his manhood..........which might be why we aren't getting many bids..........sorry Ynot...............Ok lets get back to the auction........do I hear 2 dollars........Thanks Sunshine we have 1.75..........Ladies Ladies.......Ynot will probably never be on the auction block again.......this is your one chance............Oh look I have a bid from Theskwirl........2 dollars............Sunshine jumps up and screams 2.50, TheSkwirl raises it with 2.50 and a bag of acorns........RJ53 jumps up and screams 5.00..........she looks around WHAT?!!? I need someone to move a bookcase...do you mind?

Ewe_wish: Ladies calm down there is plenty of time for you to bid. Ewe_wish gets handed a note.....Ladies apparently we have a bid for 50 dollars. This phone number looks familiar..........hey Ynot.........isn't this your moms number? Ok ladies.....no matter whose bid it is....we still have a bid for 50 dollars..........do I hear 60 dollars..........I see a bid from PinkToeNails for 60 dollars, do I hear 70? Sugarnspice jumps up and screams 60 dollars and a half of a can of pringles. PinkToeNails screams 60 dollars, half of a can of pringles and a diet coke....Unopened. Sugar screams I will match your bid and add 2 doggie biscuits.....barely chewed on. RJ53 waves her bid card.........I will give you 70 dollars....What?!??! I have more than one bookshelf to be moved!

Ewe_wish gets handed a card again..........ladies we have another bid...........100 dollars............damn I swear this is your mother's number Ynot..............Ok ladies we have a bid of 100 dollars. Casuallylooking is giving us a bid of 100 dollars and 1/4 of a cup of mocha cappuccino....this goes on much longer she'll have that cappuccino drank...........CL what the hell are you going to do with Ynot, you already have a man.........

CL: Yea I know but Griz says we can send him out to work giving us more time for hot wild monkey sex.

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15 yr old Girl Commits Suicide after being Bullied.
It's My Money and I Want It NOW!!!
The last 3 Pages of the Blogs........
Moving On..............
Menu Item: 2 slices of bread and a piece of Ewe
Her Escape ~ Repost
My daughter and I
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A Birthday Wish
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Another All Grandmothers say Awwwww Story
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The Sex Professor Asks............
History Will Repeat Itself
Movie sex scenes.........


Comments:

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Ewe_Wish

Mar 7 @ 4:47PM  
Ewe_wish: Well I can see where that would be worth the investment............Ladies come on now we have a bid from CL do I hear 150 dollars..........PinkToeNails jumps up and screams 101 dollars.

Ewe_wish: I have a bid of 101 dollars do I hear 150? I have a bid of 102 dollars from KitKat.......some new blood in the bidding ring here ladies.....and I hear KitKat can be a Tiger when she wants something....oh I'm sorry KitKat....I thought you were bidding.....didn't realize you said you wouldn't give a dollar and one cent for him.......CL finishes off her cappuchino "well to rich for my blood, guess Griz better keep his day job"

Ewe_wish: Ladies we have 102 dollars can we hear 110? I have a bid of 102 dollars and 2 doggie biscuits from Sugar....unlike the cappuccino I think we will have those biscuits to the end of this auction. Ladies can we get a higher bid from you..........Look at Ynot again, do you see the strength, the vitality, the handsome rugged face, the look of confusion in his eyes..........how can you not want to take him home with you? Thank You PinkToeNails I have your bid at 105. You win this bid he can paint your toe nails for ya. Opps here I have a bid for 107 from Sugar, you can tell she has her eye on Ynot..........and Ynot.......he would be great walking her dogs...........I just got a note saying there is a bid of 150 dollars......and there is also a message for Ynot..........You need to call your mother...........

RJ53 jumps up and screams 150 dollars,and....she starts rummaging thru her purse......a half of a roll of life savers, 1 cigerette thats 10 yrs old just in case I wanted to start smoking again, 1/2 bottle of boones farm wine....strawberry flavored that I was saving to celebrate my winning bid, 3 paper clips, a safety pin, my health insurance card that has expired thanks to our fucking govt. allowing insurance rates to be raised, a tube of mascara, purple left over from my hippie days....I am sure if you add some water it would work again, my checkbook with the 150 dollars in it, they are really cute they have tie dyed peace symbols on them, my comb, it has a missing tooth but still works.......... some loose beads, and a maxi pad.

Ewe_wish: Well..........ummmm RJ thats a hellava bid.........is there anyone here that wants to top that bid.........do I hear 160........the stuff in RJ's purse has to be worth at least 10 dollars..........depending on how much boones farm is going for...........do I hear 160....going once....going twice .....SOLD!!! RJ is the proud owner of Ynot.........just pay at the counter and you can take him home.

RJ takes Ynots arm: Its not going to be too bad, I have a couple of bookshelves to move, and I have really been wanting to change my living room around and my kitchen has needed to be remodeled and updated, you can do carpentry right? I wanted to paint my bedroom also, that shouldn't take you too long, maybe add some border that matches my comforter. Are you mechanically inclined, I could really use a oil change and a tune up on my car...............

Ewe_wish: RJ!!!! Don't let him touch your car..........he is not mechanically inclined, actually he's not very good at carpentry either, and I doubt he could paint a room and ............well other than your bookshelves being moved......i don't know what else you would do with him......

RJ: Well I guess all we can hope for is some trolls to show up and I will let him out to fight them off..........probably should have kept my life savers and maxi pad..........not sure i got a good deal or not.........

Ewe_wish: Well folks thats the end of this auction, stay tuned to see who will be auctioned off next.............at F.U.C.K. the channel of fun.
Sunshine79

Mar 7 @ 5:10PM  
And a big fat greenie!! That was funny! Who's next?
RJ53

Mar 7 @ 5:10PM  
What do mean BACK in the hippie days? He can't fix things? Damn, well maybe he can stand on a chair and hold up the ceiling during the next big rain so I don't lose any more of it.
RJ53

Mar 7 @ 5:12PM  
Let me put down the glass of Boones Farm long enough to leave you a greenie.
ShadowMale

Mar 7 @ 5:12PM  
*Runs and hides...
StraddleMyNose

Mar 7 @ 5:20PM  
PinkToeNails

Mar 7 @ 5:45PM  


This is the best auction I've ever been to... the only one in fact!!! lol

You are one lucky lady RJ!! once you teach him all you need him to know, you'll be set up!!! Don't forget, he still has those cuffs so if he needs some timeout, well, there ya go!!!


Good one Dayna!! you ain't right!!


So who is next!! Bruce? Doc?? Som?? or Fordman!?!??! I know you have a thing for him!!
sugarnspice005

Mar 7 @ 5:50PM  
Maybe I should have upped it to a pound of dog biscuits?

KitKat25

Mar 7 @ 6:09PM  
Greenie!

More...more...more...pretty please!

OMG...perhaps you can auction off WoW or Borty next?!

Thanks for the laugh Ewe.
KitKat25

Mar 7 @ 6:14PM  
So who is next!! Bruce? Doc?? Som?? or Fordman!?!??! I know you have a thing for him!!

Ohhh...fresh meat. *evil laugh*

Whose the next victim? I've got a wad of cash burning a whole in my pocket!
drcocktail87

Mar 7 @ 6:45PM  
Imagination, humor and wit.....excellent blog.
Ewe_Wish

Mar 7 @ 7:21PM  
Thanks everyone for your comments..........I am heading out to my sweeties..........he said something about Amazing Face...........and well............Oh shit.........I bet he said Amazing race.............and here i took a bath and made my hoochie coochie.......so spring fresh clean................Oh well TV is good too........


See ya all later............
ynot7769

Mar 7 @ 7:24PM  
You are one lucky lady RJ!! once you teach him all you need him to know, you'll be set up!!! Don't forget, he still has those cuffs so if he needs some timeout, well, there ya go!!!


TEACH ME ???? hey i want ya'll to KNOW I can hold that thar roof up with OUT any training ....thats right NONE

now lets talk bout the PRICE a bit...ya'll just don't know i'm worth..maybe it's cause my picture is old and not up to date??? is that it?? hmmm ok fine but i want to be RE actuioned....more money with current picture damn it....


*tired after workout n shitty photogropher...*



btw OPENING bid...

somnium

Mar 7 @ 7:40PM  
Oooohh... CRAP!!...... ummm ummm... HIDE!!!




Kudo for you!

alybai42

Mar 7 @ 8:08PM  
That was great.


Can I have the cash Ynot has on that table..

alybai42

Mar 7 @ 8:10PM  
Forgot to leave my kudo
ynot7769

Mar 7 @ 8:19PM  
ALy!!! you turd you were suppsoed to bid like $40,000.00 but i guesss free room...and board would have had value...
RevDocLove

Mar 7 @ 8:20PM  
No offense but I think RJ got screwed..At least she will be
alybai42

Mar 7 @ 8:28PM  
ynot I couldn't bid. I was not here. The bidding was over by the time I got here..and I don't think Dayna will take a rubber check.
ynot7769

Mar 7 @ 8:50PM  
No offense but I think RJ got screwed..At least she will be


now THATS funny shit there.....


ynot I couldn't bid. I was not here.

tryin to git re bids....yano for more cash...startin at 10,0000
DeDe54

Mar 7 @ 9:15PM  
good gawd, will kudos work??? I have almost a closet full!


and why am i not on the auction block????


DeDe54

Mar 7 @ 9:16PM  
Aly!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG OMG
StraddleMyNose

Mar 7 @ 9:21PM  
Ohhh...fresh meat. *evil laugh*

Whose the next victim? I've got a wad of cash burning a whole in my pocket!

Well hopefully, It's not me.

I'm so off the market!
ynot7769

Mar 7 @ 9:23PM  
and why am i not on the auction block????

NOW THERE YA GO!!! acution off dede !!!
StraddleMyNose

Mar 7 @ 9:23PM  
So who is next!! Bruce? Doc?? Som?? or Fordman!?!??!
These four sound like some pretty good picks. Like I stated in my previous comment, as long as it's not me.
DeDe54

Mar 7 @ 9:28PM  
I'm not a cheap one ya no Y.. I'm very ummm expensive..

Kudos will work..
DeDe54

Mar 7 @ 9:28PM  
I'm not a cheap one ya no Y.. I'm very ummm expensive..

Kudos will work..
alybai42

Mar 7 @ 10:23PM  
DeDe
alybai42

Mar 7 @ 10:24PM  
tryin to git re bids....yano for more cash...startin at 10,0000


Cash What is that
ynot7769

Mar 7 @ 11:03PM  
I'm not a cheap one ya no Y.. I'm very ummm expensive.

NO problem.....
themama

Mar 8 @ 12:27AM  
That was great..... Just to funny.....

Give ya a kudo for this...
soft_touch938

Mar 8 @ 12:27AM  
Trailing in here after a day of playin' couch potato....good blog 'n maybe next time I'll get to bid....I got half a bottle of old scotch an old fwb left here, unlimited workouts in my exercise room...with possible promotions... I'll keep addin' to the list til the next auction.

Kudo slippin' in under da gavel...
Ewe_Wish

Mar 8 @ 1:10AM  
Thanks everyone.........I appreciate it.............and Ynot..........all sales were final.........you're a done deal....................by the way RJ...........my daddy use to say if you bought a mule at a sale and it wouldn't work for ya............a swat between the ears with a 2x4 would get him to do the job..................just saying.......
Lisa46

Mar 8 @ 4:51AM  
a swat between the ears with a 2x4 would get him to do the job..................just saying..


Just make sure you hit your mark then run like hell

Great aution Ewe did Here is your cookie
ynot7769

Mar 8 @ 6:05AM  
2x4????

ya'll are just mean.......and suicidal
alybai42

Mar 8 @ 8:27AM  
ya'll are just mean.......


I am not mean just broke..



I do have a bag of dog treats
borty293

Mar 8 @ 4:21PM  
What I'd like to know is why Ynot didn't have on the Macho Maxi Vibrating Panties that I sent him last year so his dinky didn't fall out at the auction.?
flavorbuster

Mar 9 @ 12:24AM  
This isn't a block auction it's really a cock auction & I will have no part in it ....
ravenesque

Mar 9 @ 1:06AM  
*tired after workout n shitty photogropher...*

I suggest James Cameron.....
theSkwirl

Mar 10 @ 4:50PM  
Ok Ok.. my maximum bid for the Y is Tree dollah nineyeight cents, 2 gallons of wesson oil, a full sack of acorns, half a sack of black walnuts, a box with a slightly used cherry in, two buckeyes with lil teethmarks, six pairs of vibrating manpanties which were prototypes not released by Borty eneterprises, a full case of Nipple Enlarger Dislodgers, a 50 gallon drum of rubber cement, a box of lambskin condoms, three long red baloons like clowns use, a gently used red rubber nose (i swear that's not anything gross inside it.. it's just snot.), a bouquet of cock pictures in a lovely blue vase, a pair of Sunshine's socks that do not smell like ass I don't care who says they do, a pair of dentures with only three teeth, 11 marbles of various colors, two bottle caps (with jokes inside), a slightly sticky fruit rollup and a bag of green jelly bellies.

*glares around* who can do better than that?
girlcountry

Mar 10 @ 8:30PM  
I understand that a even a blind squirrel can get a nut every once in a while, but how'd you get all the other stuff?? And are you gonna be on the next "Hoarders" show? Lubs ya Skwirlly girl!!

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Up on the Auction Block