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100 motherfuckers online right now...97 of them OFF THE HOOK!!!

posted 3/7/2010 6:07:49 AM |
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  DickSlippery

Second attempt at writing a blog 2nite...the first went down in flames. Reaching across my laptop 2 press the post button I accidentally brushed the touchpad and erased the whole fucking thing!!!!! AAAAAHHHHHHRRRRRGGGGG!!!!

I sit here eating pork rinds and sipping a bottle of Boone's Farm Watermelon (vintage late Feb 2010) and I can't help but wonder if it is just me, or does everyone want 2 fuck the holy shit out of my neighbor? Yeah...it's probably just me. Who the hell else besides me would be interested in a 48 year-old Ukranian woman with a prostetic leg and an eye patch?

I swear 2 god I am such a fucking slut. I was headed downtown yesterday when I spotted an old friend of mine walking up the street. I pulled over and she hopped in the car, screeching loudly as she threw her arms around me and smushed her tits against my chest. Then she kissed me full on the mouth before sitting back 2 look at me. After a few moments she smiled a little, reached up and pulled her hair loose, allowing it 2 fall naturally down her back.

She asked me what I was doing. I told her. She asked me if I would rather be doing her. I told her that sounded pretty good 2 me. Then I pulled N2 a service station and she folloed me N2 the bathroom. She closed and locked the door, then turned and stripped off everything except her stilleto heels. She knelt in front of me and swallowed me whole, slobbering and sucking on my dick like it was some kind of candy cane or something. I was really starting 2 get N2 it when it started.

At first it was barely audible. Beep beep beep. Just some faint audio signal emanating from somewhere past the edge of my unconsious mind. But as I felt my orgasm coming ever closer the noise seemed 2 become louder. BEEP BEEP BEEP. I felt like I was about 2 fire my hot load down this bitch's throat and I looked down at her only 2 discover 2 my utter amazement that she was suddenly gone and had been replaced by former child star Willie Ames (who looked just like he did on Eight is Enough, btw). As if that weren't enough, it turned out that Willie was doing a much better job with my willy than anyone had done in quite some time!

Then all of the sudden Willie and I are standing in the bathroom comparing dick size (mine was easily seven or eight times as large as his was, btw...) and Kristie McNicol walks in without knocking and catches us at what we are doing. She laughs a little, then unzips and reaches in and whips out her own massive cock. Just the sight of it makes mine want 2 run and hide, never 2 be seen in public again! So, I ask her where she got such a huge cock, right? And she tells me she got it from her dad, who worked on a oil rig out in the middle of the Carribean. Between the two of them they had 25 inches of throbbing penis. When one of the many spectators pointed out that 95 year old Halston McNichol's cock was actually four inches longer than his much younger daughter's was, an already frazzled Kristie said something 2 Pinkie Tuscadero about not being able 2 win them all then threw herself out the old man's 75th story office window, leaving her panties behind for anyone who cared.

That's when I woke up and realized I needed 2 leave off smoking pot, man. It obviously wasn't doing me any fucking good. Then I jacked off and went back 2 sleep. Only this time I dreamt it was Groundhog Day and I was Punxsutawney Phil...


Keeping U posted

DS

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Comments:

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funnywhapper

Mar 7 @ 6:47AM  
thx, this is spic dic, the spanish eye who is the human spanish fly to all
the sheiks chic chicks, for fuller brush inc. time to clean up el cajon, ca.
but will my neighbor and her three kids go with me there this morning.
but what about her husband in the mossad and irsraeli army, he might get pissed
if i take her. we're just going to o'connor's religious store at 3720 el cajon blvd.
strange takeovers going on there. weird neighborhood. we're buying scapulars
of our lady of carmel and rosaries. three shepherd children of fatima. a great
miracle here in st. mark's, mother of god has appeared on the mountain
above the cross, where the kids were tendning their sheep by the huge
white lighted cross at night, below the icbm base. some believe, some
believe its buffalo chips.
funnywhapper

Mar 7 @ 6:47AM  
thx, this is spic dic, the spanish eye who is the human spanish fly to all
the sheiks chic chicks, for fuller brush inc. time to clean up el cajon, ca.
but will my neighbor and her three kids go with me there this morning.
but what about her husband in the mossad and irsraeli army, he might get pissed
if i take her. we're just going to o'connor's religious store at 3720 el cajon blvd.
strange takeovers going on there. weird neighborhood. we're buying scapulars
of our lady of carmel and rosaries. three shepherd children of fatima. a great
miracle here in st. mark's, mother of god has appeared on the mountain
above the cross, where the kids were tendning their sheep by the huge
white lighted cross at night, below the icbm base. some believe, some
believe its buffalo chips.
Sunshine79

Mar 7 @ 7:38AM  
Mr. Parker......You got one helluva imagination!!
Ewe_Wish

Mar 7 @ 9:54AM  
Wow...........I am totally amazed........................they still make Boone's Farm?
RJ53

Mar 7 @ 11:15AM  
Wow...........I am totally amazed........................they still make Boone's Farm?

They sure do and they still make it in strawberry too Reminds me of all the parties down in the Village
MsHelle

Mar 7 @ 12:14PM  
I think someone needs an intervention
RJ53

Mar 8 @ 10:33AM  
I need some of whatever he was smoking and drinking
TastyCupcake

Mar 9 @ 11:14PM  
I am truly glad to see another of your blogs, and I love you, DS; but SEEK HELP!

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100 motherfuckers online right now...97 of them OFF THE HOOK!!!