A married guy tells a priest, "I almost had an affair." The priest asks,"What do you mean, almost?" The guy replies, "Well, we got undressed and started rubbing together...but then I stopped." The priest said, "Rubbing against her is the same as putting it in. Don't go near her again, say five Hail Marys, and put fifty dollars in the poor box." The guy says his Hail Marys, walks over to the poor box, pauses, and then starts to leave. The priest runs over and says, "You didn't put any money in the poor box." The guy replied, "No, but I rubbed the fifty bucks on the box, and you said that's the same as putting it in."
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