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Just for fun -- Drafting Guys Over 60

posted 2/16/2010 5:17:42 PM |
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This is funny & obviously written by a Former

New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to
track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to
join the military. They've got the whole thing
ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight,
they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to
join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex
every 10 seconds.

Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day,
leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to
concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and
a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts!
I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are
impatient and maybe letting us
kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make
us feel better and shut us up for awhile.

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am.
Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell.
Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and
since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some
fanatical son-of-a-bitch.

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because
we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and
serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to
getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft
food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns.
We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out
of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however.
I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall
with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any
after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy,
too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's
still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a
pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball
cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to
learn a little more about life before sending them off into
harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward
terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a
couple million pissed off old farts with attitudes and
automatic weapons, who know that their best years are
already behind them.

HEY!! How about recruiting Women over
menopause!!! You think MEN have attitudes??
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!!
If nothing else, put them on border patrol.
They'll have
it secured the first night!

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Feb 16 @ 6:36PM  
I'd sign up today, if they'd let me bring my own firearms.

Feb 16 @ 7:49PM  
God, I hate email forwards like these.

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Just for fun -- Drafting Guys Over 60