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Do You Lie About the Number of People You Have Slept With?

posted 2/5/2010 6:37:30 PM |
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tagged: sex, women, men, question

I’ve had this question posed to me multiple times in the past. “How many people have you slept with?” And no matter who is asking the question, I always feel myself tense up a bit. I don’t know why exactly, because I don’t feel shame at the number of guys I’ve slept with. But you have to admit it is a very personal question. Judgment seems automatic in most cases because most people have an idea of what the “perfect number” is. I used to think there was a perfect number or range, but now I don’t think in those terms.

I’m now wondering what the opinions are in Pervia.

So Pervia…do you lie about the number of people you have slept with?

Me? There were a few times in my 20’s when I felt embarrassed by the small number of guys I had slept with in comparison to some of my girlfriends.

Thankfully, I no longer feel this way. I lied once when I was in my 20’s and added to the number of guys I had actually slept with. I’ve never felt compelled to repeat this action.

Your turn…

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Feb 5 @ 6:43PM  
sounds odd but here we all are, sleeping in eternity with zillions of others.
not right on top of one another but uh.....

Feb 5 @ 6:44PM  
I don't lie and I don't answer that question not because of the number, but because I do not think that is anyone's business but mine. I usually just say enough to know what I am doing and let it go at that.

Feb 5 @ 6:47PM  
LOL Kat, it seems our minds are on the same page tonite, as we posted blogs about the number of partners moments apart!


Feb 5 @ 6:51PM  
Its a ridiculous double standard between men and women and the number of sexual partners they have had. I figure as long as people play safe and responsibly, who cares about who had more?

Feb 5 @ 6:55PM  
First, it isn't anyone's business. Second, I was a very late bloomer so I didn't have any additional partners until after my divorce at 42. After that there were a couple... so we are talking a single digit. Then I remarried and now a widow... I've been almost convent novitiate material since then...LOL! I don't feel right about lying... so IF the right person asks the question I answer honestly. If it's the wrong person asking I respond with my first statement.

Feb 5 @ 6:59PM  
This question doesn't bother me. I dont lie and I dont really care what others think. I like my life and how I have lived it and if someone else doesnt like it tough they can move on. But I really dont know the answer either all I can say is over 100 and under 200.

Feb 5 @ 7:17PM  
why should i lie/?? i mean why let a lie come between me and a special woman...tho why even ask each other?? past is past..the FUTURE is what counts...

Feb 5 @ 7:20PM  
I guess I about with ksk...more than one hundred...less than two ....

Feb 5 @ 7:22PM  
I'd have to go with Ynot on this one....hubby has never asked me and I've never asked him...don't want to know!!

Feb 5 @ 7:36PM  
Dont tell. But definately not enough to brag about.

Feb 5 @ 7:49PM  
he he he he ...don't lie...key is ''enough to know what i'm doing''

Feb 5 @ 7:57PM  

Why Lie.? 11 that I can think of.

Feb 5 @ 8:19PM  
Lies are a waste of time. And, that is my own personal business that I only share with my s/o if he asks.

Feb 5 @ 9:03PM  
Nah, I'm actually quite proud with the actual number of women I have slept with over the years. I don't just sleep around with anyone. They have to be someone very special and mean something to me. I have only slept with 6 women.

Feb 5 @ 9:45PM  
To lie about that (if asked) or something else, is the beginning of a precarious relationship IMO! She just needs to know if I'm experienced enough to know that I certainly have been with others through the years and that a 'phuck' count, is irrelevant!


Feb 5 @ 10:05PM  
I can't count that high

Feb 5 @ 10:28PM  
I don't lie.. I just never kept score.. so I dunno the answer.. it's more than three.. less than all of em.

Feb 5 @ 11:18PM  
I would never lie about it,but I feel it's irrelevant and no ones business. Everyone has a past and that's where it should stay.... in their past.

I just want to be the last one he ever has sex with......unless I die before him.

Feb 5 @ 11:49PM  
I don't lie because I would never answer that question.

Back in the day when I was actually looking for a friendship if a new aquaintance asked me "so, how has the website worked for you, any hookups" that was our final conversation.

Feb 6 @ 6:41AM  
I would change the question to either "How many people did you sleep with that are still close friends?" or "How many people did you sleep with that you really love?" I think what you are asking is more of a physical thing not an emotional thing.

Feb 6 @ 9:04AM  
You know in my relationships that question has never came up. But if it does I will probably say none of your business. Like Ynot said what is past is just that past, but I can smile when I remember

Feb 6 @ 9:22AM  
the number of people you have slept with?

As a rule I didn't sleep with very many,
just the ones who weren't one night stands..
Sex??? More than I can remember..But also remember I'm
getting old and don't recall some things very well
I'm entitled to forget

Feb 6 @ 9:59AM  
I don't lie because I would never answer that question.

Feb 6 @ 2:19PM  
I would never ask someone that queation and feel it is a private matter. I can't lie, cause I don't remember.

Feb 6 @ 3:40PM  
I don't lie...I just don't tell

Feb 6 @ 6:37PM appears like the majority of us don't like this question...and even feel it is inappropriate to ask. I couldn't agree more.

I wish I had had more confidence when I was in my 20's. Then maybe I wouldn't have caved into peer pressure one evening while having drinks with a group of girls. Oh and learn right?

I'm happy to say I no longer have this problem and either change the subject very quickly when it comes up...or tell the person it's none of their beeswax.

Thanks so much for all the great comments and opinions peeps.

Feb 6 @ 7:16PM  
No need to lie or deny. To understand one's past makes them into what they are today. That is important in my opinion. It is often a cultural thing influenced by one's environment. Let's just say that my name is not Andy and I never lived in Mayberry.

Okay, estimated playmates, one night stands, girlfriends, wife, and insignificant others total to between eighty and one hundred. I grew up in LA, was not in a monogamous relationship until I got married at thirty in 1981. So previous years included the hippie and disco eras when you were expected to fuck everybody, thankfully! I got divorced at forty. In my forties, the women were fun!!! Many had their kids out of the house and were ready to make up for lost time due to being mom.

In their fifties, I have found women to be more demanding and less fun so I have sat out the dating scene by and large. Specifically, far too many seem to want a guy to do what they want to do. Going to craft fairs, garage sales, romantic comedy flicks, and watching Dancing With the Stars is not my idea of a good time.

Feb 6 @ 9:50PM  

No need to lie or deny. To understand one's past makes them into what they are today.
I can agree with this statement

Feb 7 @ 6:38AM  
Depends on who is doing the asking, I suppose...


Feb 7 @ 5:02PM  
no.. I don't lie.... Just can't remember them all.

Mar 7 @ 10:12PM  
I don't lie about it cuz I honestly don't know the answer to it. I've never gone for the "notch in the bedpost" mentality so I never kept count. All I say is I've been with enough to have a wide and versatile range of experience. Learned some nifty tricks along the way

Mar 27 @ 9:30PM  
i never old ant was my secret and the ladys i done ever kiss and tell


Mar 27 @ 9:52PM  
I don't Lie......But, I do Counter ask them, How many they have been with!

Apr 12 @ 9:41PM  
hey all. I am one of those that does not lie about the number of women I have slept with, but I am always eager to increase the number

Apr 12 @ 9:47PM  
Don't ask ....don't tell.......

Apr 15 @ 5:43PM  
im to old to rember haha


Apr 17 @ 2:43AM  
Have not slept with a woman since my wife died in 1988 and not the least ashamed of it nor feel the need to lie about the number before that or after...what does it profit you to lie? The way I see it if you are a man and you lie about it sooner or later some woman will call your bluff on it and question your lack of skill or ability for someone so well versed at least to tongue on the subject and if you are a woman often you turn away men who otherwise would be attracted to you but see you as common or cheep for the sheer numbers rumored...nope see no honor nor profit in the lie.

Apr 25 @ 9:48PM  
Holy Moley!!!

Was I suppose to be keeping track??

Through the 60's- 70's- 80's....

If I was sleeping, would I always have been aware of who came and who went??

I know, everyone would like to think are special...unforgettable... but really?

I just make sure... I am safe... and tested...
and try to assure myself that anyone I let into my body for recreational purposes is the same. Whether or not a bed...or sleeping is even close.

And, the truth be told... even some who have lots of encounters...
never learn how to read body language.. need or even feel compelled to care about another person.
The just perform the same inadequate screw over and over... and the only person who gets off... is themselves.

So... the Number is without value if no one has performed maintence.

Yes, I might be high mileage to some... but most are freeway miles (and usually exceeding the speed limit).
But more than the recommended maintenance has been performed...Also!!

So if they ask.... I can't answer... and wouldn't... Kattoes

Apr 26 @ 12:14AM  
Now that the comments have played out I'll have to ask why the question of sleeping is involved when the actual event is supposed to be fucking ?

Apr 26 @ 8:14AM  
miss KittyKat. .... you should know me better n that.

me being the gentleman that i am....

I would never ask you such a personal question like that.

I'd be more interested in how many ppl you've bumped uglys with while you were awake.

* runs off before she throws something at me...
tosses greenie over his shoulder to slow her down as she bends down to pick it up while he makes his get away ...

Apr 26 @ 11:29AM  
I've thought about this since my last comment...

I may be wrong, but I don't think a man really wants to know the answer to this question even though he may be thoughtless enough to pose the question. I think they prefer to concentrate on being with you than thinking about the other men in your life. And I don't want to know how many they've been with because I don't want that idea floating in my head and then come to the forefront at an inopportune time... it's TMI!

Whatever occurs before your current partner is the past and doesn't have anything to do with the present EXCEPT we should have the 'responsible' conversation, i.e. need to know if there is an STD lurking or health info in order to protect one another.

Sometimes I think they may ask because it turns them on in some preverse way... and if you ask them the same question they may be as insulted even more than we may be. I am not so naive to believe everyone tells the truth either.

May 2 @ 7:09PM  
Absolutely! I was stationed in the Philippines for three years, where we called the bar girls 'LBFM'.. LITTLE BROWN FUCKING MACHINES!

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Do You Lie About the Number of People You Have Slept With?