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So, What's a Whig Anyway?

posted 2/3/2010 11:20:16 PM |
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tagged: whig

I know I have mentioned most of this shit B4, but since I noticed somebody asking about the whole Whig thing the other day I figured it may be time 4 a refresher course in Whig history. Now would be the time any sane person would stop reading and move on2 the next blog, btw. So, if U are still reading...well, there U have it.

The Whig Party was pretty much just a group of drunkards, hooligans and roustabouts who were tired of politics as usual in this country, and somehow managed 2 wrestle themselves N2 power in Washington in the early 1800s. During their brief stay in power they produced four Presidents and pioneered many political practices we now take for granted.

The Whigs first came 2 power after running what was in effect the first political campaign in American political history. Prior 2 the election of 1839 asking 4 one's vote was considered unseemly and something a gentleman did not engage in, but the Whig's changed all of that. Whig Party supporters traveled from town 2 town whipping up support 4 their candidate, William Henry Harrison.

William Henry Harrison was a hero of the Northwest Territory Indian Wars, a fact leading directly 2 the second of the Whig firsts - the political slogan. Whig supporters then began crying "Tippacanoe and Tyler too!", referring 2 a battle Harrison had won in 1811 against the Indian Chief Tecumsa and his Whig running mate, John Tyler.

Although a gentleman of the day wouldn't consider campaigning 4 votes, it was still necessary 4 him 2 get his message 2 the people. Often this was achieved by the candidate having peaceful gathering whereby he was able 2 express his ideas in a meaningful way. This of course led 2 another Whig innovation...mudslinging!

Whig supporters would get all fucked up and then infiltrate the crowd B4 the candidate would speak, then during his speech they would heckle him. They would also stop people walking outside the venue and spread stories of how they'd heard the candidate was "a dandy man", the 1839 equivalent of calling him a fucking pedophilic cock smoker these days.

The use of these groundbreaking innovations 4 the very first time culminated with the defeat of sitting President Martin Van Buren and the election of William Henry Harrison as the Ninth President of the United States! Unfortunately, it turned out that although William Henry Harrison had been smart enough 2 defeat Tecumsa in the Indian Wars, he wasn't bright enough 2 wear a coat outside in Washington in January. After insisting on walking during his inaugural parade, he caught pneumonia and a month later became yet another Whig first by becoming the first President 2 die in office.

This, of course, made John Tyler the second Whig President, and the first man 2 ever become President without having been elected President!!!, another WHIG FIRST and another story altogether.

That's enough Whig history 4 now, children. Now turn off Ur light and go 2 sleep...

Keeping U posted


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post a comment!


Feb 3 @ 11:30PM  
You just crack me up...ya know that? True or bullshit I don't know but a damn good read...too bad I can only give you one cookie.

And I'll go to bed when I'm damn good 'n ready....

Feb 3 @ 11:58PM  
I thought a whig was something worn by British judges.

Feb 4 @ 1:02AM  
Many would be surprised to know that Abraham Lincoln was also one of the pre-eminent Whigs representing Illinois. Nice job of presenting a slice of accurate history in a humorous vein.

Incidentally the Whig party is undergoing a modern day revival. Comprised of Iraq and Afghanistan veterans, the grassroots movement has quickly added new members. They represent the moderate voters from all walks of life who cherry-pick between traditional Republican or Democratic ideals in what has been called the Modern Whig Philosophy. This Washington DC-based national movement values common sense, rational solutions ahead of ideology and partisan bickering.

Nice to see an intelligent blog.

Feb 4 @ 2:34AM  
Very interesting history lesson. You explained this much better than I did over the weekend. Thanks for elaborating.

Feb 4 @ 2:38AM  
We've missed you!

Feb 4 @ 3:19AM  
Do Penguin Hookers wear wigs?

Feb 4 @ 12:17PM  
I tried to move on, but, I was in the mood for a little "refresher". Thanks DS.

Feb 4 @ 1:12PM  
Just when they think that you are just another pretty face... you show em don'tcha? You're far more than just a pretty face!

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So, What's a Whig Anyway?