Just let me know where 2 pick up the check... posted 1/28/2010 8:31:11 PM | 2 kudos what's this?     report abuse tagged: whig

DickSlippery

Recently, it has been suggested that I put up a link 2 a "Dick Slippery Fund". I gotta tell U, folks, I think this is an OUTSTANDING idea! In fact, it could be the best idea I've heard since someone suggested I stop watching Lost (fuck that show. I don't even give a fuck what's happening on that island anymore...). This idea is obviously the product of a great mind at work. Or it could be a great mind at home, I suppose, depending upon his schedule. I'm not sure about that. I'll have 2 check on it and get back 2 U later.

What I am sure of is that this is a brilliant idea that takes care of two problems in one fell swoop. First, it addresses the problem of a lack of content here on AMD, cuz I can honestly say if I was getting paid 2 do this I would fucking post constantly. I'd just treat the AMD blog page as my own personal Twitter. I'd post everything...flyers, register receipts, old report cards...fuck it, what do I care? Second, and most importantly, it would free me up 2 spend my days being funny, rather than just looking funny. Or would that be in addition to looking funny? Whatever...point is, I'd be funny.

But I don't want 2 come off as some self-serving narcissist here. Remember, this isn't even my idea 2 begin with. I'm just passing it along, much the same way as I did with H1N1. And I am all about full disclosure and transparency (especially when referring 2 women's clothing or shower doors). All I'm trying 2 do is buy some weed, man. I ain't even trying 2 be greedy. Once I pick up I'll give whatever is left 2 someone who really needs it...like my wife. If there was ever a bitch who could use some walking around money, it would be her. Hell, if nothing else she could use it 2 pick up some vodka. I'm sure that dealing with me day in and day out can be a little nerve-racking. Sometimes a dry martini is just the thing 2 take the edge off, U know? Some of the bullshit I pull I'm surprised the woman is ever fucking sober. But I suppose one of us has 2 stay sober, and as long as its U motherfuckers footing the bill, it certainly isn't going 2 be me!

So go ahead and let me know where I can pick up the check and we can get right on this. Matter of fact, as a show of good faith I'm gonna go ahead and keep right on blogging (I'm trying 2 post 30 blogs in 30 days, btw. And they said I didn't take anything away from rehab...guess I showed them, didn't I?) while I'm waiting for it 2 get here. Cuz that's the kind of motherfucker I am...a giver. Even when I'm taking something I'm only doing it so I can turn around and give it 2 whoever makes me the best offer (FYI - all offers will be equally considered, but those involving cash, nude photos or sexual favors will be automatically moved 2 the top of the list...). Honestly now, can U think of anything more American than that?

I didn't think so.

Keeping U posted,

DS

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Blogs by DickSlippery: Again with the SONG of the DAY!!! IMPORTANT INFORMATION OMG!!!!!!! Whaddaya think? SONG of the DAY!!! Taxation Without Reparations? Do U Know What U Think U Know? So, What's a Whig Anyway? 6. Mother Hopefully there is no spyware this time... 4. The Happiest Days of Our Lives 3. Another Brick in the Wall Pt. 1 Just let me know where 2 pick up the check... 2. The Thin Ice 1. In the Flesh OMFG!!!! Be careful what U ask 4... I was gonna... Something 2 think about over breakfast... Better late than never... Inglorious Basterds? Cash for Clunkers, huh? Just letting U know, Ladies... spearmint flavored dynamite on a humid sunday morn A Message in Ten Parts 1/10