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posted 1/27/2010 8:54:09 AM |
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tagged: funny, sunshine, fuck
  Sunshine79

Q. What does Popeye do to keep his favorite tool from rusting?
A. Sticks it in Olive Oyl.

Q. How do you know a man is really a bad dancer?
A. When he can still step on Dolly Parton's toes.

Q. What's a diaphragm?
A. A trampoline for dickheads.

Q. What proof do we have that prostitution is recession-proof?
A. Everyone knows that hookers thrive on hard times.

Q. What do a dildo and soy beans have in common?
A. They are both used as substitute meat.

Q. What do you call a man who cries while he masturbates?
A. A tearjerker.

Q. What's the difference between medium and rare?
A. 6 inches is medium, 8 inches is rare.

Q. How is a woman like a road?
A. Both have manholes.

Q. What's the the definition of a vagina?
A. The box a penis comes in.

Q. What do you call twelve naked men sitting on each others shoulders?
A. A scrotum pole!

Q. How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. One. ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don't even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT. And once they figured it out they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS. But if they did, by some miracle, find the light bulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the chair that they dragged from two rooms over to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID LIGHT BULBS CAME IN. WHY??? BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THE HOUSE!! THE HOUSE!!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS...

Anybody wanna fuck?

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   read more blogs!

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Comments:

post a comment!

Ewe_Wish

Jan 27 @ 9:10AM  
max49

Jan 27 @ 9:35AM  
Dione

Jan 27 @ 9:36AM  
All of these are good, but the PMS one knocks it out of the ballpark.
surv6969

Jan 27 @ 9:44AM  
mo_stargazer

Jan 27 @ 10:20AM  
OMG LOL My head hurts so bad so I'm trying not to laugh too much but the last one had me goin!

sugarnspice005

Jan 27 @ 10:53AM  
Q. What does Popeye do to keep his favorite tool from rusting?
A. Sticks it in Olive Oyl.

Don't forget the spinach! Remember the pic Ynot posted.

Q. What's a diaphragm?
A. A trampoline for dickheads.



Whew! The PMS one...

Leaving ya a greenie.
justme4u

Jan 27 @ 12:05PM  

mmmmmhmmmmmmm
shyguy140

Jan 27 @ 1:02PM  
Good ones
theSkwirl

Jan 27 @ 1:36PM  
FUCKING STY!!! I SWEAR TO GAWD YOU PEOPLE ARE AS IRRESPONSIBLE AS IF YOU WERE FIVE YEARS OLD. AND IF YOU DON'T START PUTTING THE TOILET PAPER ON THE SPINDLE WHEN IT'S EMPTIED I'M GOING TO HAVE TO TAKE YOU OUT BACK AND HIT YOU WITH A SHOVEL.


Yes, Yes I do wanna.
ksk72

Jan 27 @ 3:24PM  
Q. What's the difference between medium and rare?
A. 6 inches is medium, 8 inches is rare.

still laughing and now texting it to others



Yes
StraddleMyNose

Jan 27 @ 7:15PM  
Q. How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. One. ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don't even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT. And once they figured it out they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS. But if they did, by some miracle, find the light bulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the chair that they dragged from two rooms over to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID LIGHT BULBS CAME IN. WHY??? BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THE HOUSE!! THE HOUSE!!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS...
drcocktail87

Jan 27 @ 8:32PM  

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Crude Hump Day Funnies