I purchased a donkey from an old farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the following day. The next morning, the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry DKW, but I have some bad news. The donkey died." 
"Well shit happens, just return my money to me," I said. "Sorry, can't do that," said the farmer. "I already spent it." 
"OK then, just unload the donkey," I said.
"Whatcha gonna do with him?" asked the farmer. 
"I'm going to raffle him off," I replied. 
"You can't raffle off a dead donkey!" the farmer exclaimed. 
"Of course I can," I said. "Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he is dead." 
A few weeks later, the farmer ran into me at the store and asked, "So, what happened with the dead donkey?"
"I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $898.00." 
"Didn't anyone complain?" he inquired. 
"Just the guy who won. So, I gave him his two dollars back."
(No, not my joke. But I found it funny as all hell. Smart, too.  )
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