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At What Point is too Many Failed Marriages and SOs a Deal Breaker?

posted 1/23/2010 7:03:07 AM |
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  Wordsofwit

There are some people that many feel have been married and divorced too many times. For example; Zsa Zsa Gabor (nine), Mickey Rooney (eight) and Elizabeth Taylor (eight).

These days it is arguable that you could include failed live in SOs and engagements to fiances to the tally. At what point does it hoist a red flag or serve as an eliminator for you, if at all?

For me, generally, it is like baseball; three strikes and you're out. However, if there were mistakes early in life, I might view them a foul balls.

BTW, Zsa Zsa Gabor had a great answer for a reporter who asked, "How many husbands have you had?"

Her reply, "Mine, or somebody elses?"

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Dione

Jan 23 @ 7:21AM  
"Mine, or somebody elses?"
Zsa Zsa and her sister Eva are what I call 'professional' wives... They married and divorced so many times I couldn't keep count.

I have to agree with you in general, three strikes and you're out. Although I give a pass to widows/widowers since that is not an equivalent to divorce. I've been divorced once and now widowed... just not sure a third time is the wise thing to do at this stage of the game.
onehornytoad69

Jan 23 @ 7:38AM  
My last Lady friend taught me a Lesson.....on this subject!!!!
She is 39 YO has been Married 4 times.....!!!!
Its not always'''"HIS" fault!!! Don't ya know!?
So nowwwww after 2 strikes....I look closely!!! 3 Strikes I Run!!!!
To be honest I have too much on me to even bother thinking about a "Woman" now a days!
RevDocLove

Jan 23 @ 7:54AM  
Six and out for me..Not counting temps
Wordsofwit

Jan 23 @ 7:58AM  
Its not always'''"HIS" fault!!! Don't ya know!?

I hear ya! Sometimes you get the highly refined propaganda with altered information where the perpetrator casts themselves as the victim.
Sunshine79

Jan 23 @ 9:08AM  
I don't know. I would just assume something weren't right if someone told me they had been divorced 3 or more times. I mean, c'mon...why keep going thru the wringer. That has to take a toll on someones wallet.

I don't think adding failed live in SOs and engagements to fiances to the tally is fair.

In those situations, no one was tied by law. So, I would just weigh that seperatly.

Number of failed relationships/engagements that would send a red flag to me (assuming these were 2+ years or more, invested time) would probably be....4-5 times.
aftershox

Jan 23 @ 9:08AM  
Yah, I agree. Three is too many.


Though I know a certain someone who is divorced 3 times, and currently living with someone else , that I initially considered strictly fling material. Hot fling material. OMG steamy hot fling material,mmm, what was I saying?

Oh yeah. But as I have gotten to know him in ways other than exploring different positions and activities, I have come to realize that we actually could end up with a serious relationship someday. Scary but true.

There is also the opposite end of the spectrum. The ones that have never been married, never had kids, never really lived with anyone. Yikes. Red flag. Red flag.

Another thing I look for is other friends. In my marriage, he never had friends of his own. I was his only real friend. He liked to play golf with the husbands of my friends, but never really became their friend. This is now obviously important to me 20 some odd years later, but it really tells you something if a person does not form friendships/buddyships of his own
somnium

Jan 23 @ 10:22AM  
Depends on the reason(s) for one's divorces IMO! I would wonder after three marriages, what is the issue(s), that someone isn't working out within themselves!

On the other hand, in my case anyway- I've been divorced twice! Now here are my reasons for that! In my first marriage, I found out later, it was her way of 'getting' out of the house, that was so popular back in the '50s and '60s! Have one child from it and paid my child support up until she was 22 y/o (college). Never really had a serious argument in over three years!

My second divorce was a result of two problems: she was a 'material girl', popular back in the '70s and early '80s and she decided that my daughter was from another marriage... period! Her own mother (2nd ex) suggested that I not pay child support and leave her out of my 'new' life! My 2nd ex and her mother, were on the same page! You can guess what happened then- beginning of the end of that one! No serious arguments in that marriage- lasted about 2½ years!

Yet, a prospective partner, may take a dim view of my being married twice, unless I explain what happened in both marriages- IF she even believes what you say!!


soft_touch938

Jan 23 @ 10:25AM  
I've been married and divorced 3 times...the fourth one stuck....because I MADE it stick.

Now maybe you might be asking what's wrong with me and you'd be right...with that kind of track record there HAS to be something wrong with me and it's probably my judgment in men so I'd be guessing if I was considering you then there must be something wrong with you...know what I mean??? ('you' is figuratively speaking here)

Nah....single I am...single I stay...
RJ53

Jan 23 @ 10:31AM  
I would say each case is different. Some people just have bad taste in women or men at a young age. Or were maybe a little too trusting Like someone kind of forgot to divorce their first wife before you were married or you found out your second husband was a big time drug dealer after you were married. I don't count those as really failed relationships as there were outside circumstances where important info was withheld. Crap can happen to good people sometimes. These days I would run a background check on anyone I was involved with so there were no surprises. A deal breaker for me would be someone who had walked away from his family because he did not want to be a dad or had a wandering eye everytime we were out in public. Those would not only be a red flag, they would be a big old stop light. I would like to think I would still be open minded enough to look at the person and circumstances surrounding their past. By most of our ages we should have refined our bullshit meter to the point where we know when the other person is making excuses for a failed relationship and when there were real circumstances where it would have been impossible to continue trying.
maxximuss1967

Jan 23 @ 11:17AM  
I have a brother who has been married 4 times at age 35....its poor choices of mates..I think, but history will repeat itself.
Ewe_Wish

Jan 23 @ 11:43AM  
Well i would almost think it would depend on how the marriage ended..........

I have been married 3 times.............once divorced and twice widowed.......so its not like all my marriages were failures............tho I am sure the knowledge that I have been widowed twice would scare some men off.............

I have no intentions of ever getting remarried........but for many reasons not because I dont want to be "tied" to anyone for the rest of my life............mostly financial but at my age I dont think that piece of paper is that important.............

Tho i am terribly hurt........

So nowwwww after 2 strikes....I look closely!!! 3 Strikes I Run!!!!
I guess that means Alex and I won't be getting together anytime soon.....





ThePurpleProphet

Jan 23 @ 12:40PM  
I get leery after I've heard about two failed marriages.
DarkKnightWalking

Jan 23 @ 12:41PM  
Guess I'm out....
BlueEyes708

Jan 23 @ 12:41PM  
No your not, You're mine. And I'm ecstatic to have you.
DarkKnightWalking

Jan 23 @ 12:43PM  
Kewl.


Wanna fuck?
1bunny629

Jan 23 @ 1:09PM  
I was married once and didn't even try to get that way. I was 30 and not even thinking about it and I fell into the bucket. How'd that happen? I won't be trying for a 2nd....but I wasn't terying for a first, so who the hell knows?
I recently went out with a guy that I had known from the past but never dated. He told me he had been married 3 times. He also told me he ruined every relationship he had ever been in. I said, at least your up front about it...no worries. Well, he disappeared! HA! LOL! Ya can't get involved with someone who disappears. Other than that, we got along great. He recently called me and gave me every excuse in the book why he hadn't been around. I told him I was just glad he wasn't dead.
theSkwirl

Jan 23 @ 1:35PM  
Evidently for those who are damaged and abused it's not. My ex husband.. yes it's the only ex husband I have or will ever have.. is now on his 4th divorce, plus at least 8 live in girlfriends that I know of.. he's always got another one lined up and waiting.. always up to something and fucking someone else.. and somehow he keeps finding these damaged women to consort with. Yes, I admit, I was one of the damaged.. but I feel much better now.

I've had one marriage and two long term romances.. next month on the 12th will be my nine year anniversary with the one I hope is my last.
sugarnspice005

Jan 23 @ 7:07PM  
I'd be concerned about someone whose had 8 or more divorces in their lifetime. It's just me, but, that would show me they aren't ones to take commitment serious, more like treat it with indifference.
StraddleMyNose

Jan 23 @ 11:31PM  
I can't really answer as I don't have a whole lot experiences in these areas

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At What Point is too Many Failed Marriages and SOs a Deal Breaker?