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Once Upon A Time: In Pervia

posted 1/19/2010 8:54:24 PM |
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  theSkwirl

On a dark and stormy night, in the middle of the day, the Emperor decided that nothing in his closet fit properly or was nice enough to wear to a state function. He had a very important function coming up shortly, and needed to look his very best. After all, he had people to impress and things to say! And so, he called for his tailors.

For days and nights he fretted and stewed over color choices, fabric types and decoration. Nothing was going to be good enough for him. Nothing in the land was ever going to please him. The poor tailors, having been run ragged trying to find something new and different, exciting or good enough for the Emperor finally gave up and went off to their homes. All the courtiers hid in the closets of the Palace lest the Emperor's temper be loosed upon them. He had worked himself into a fine rage by this time.

Finally, the village idiot had an idea. It was a grand and expansive IDEA! It was the idea to end all ideas! He called a meeting with the Emperor's tailors.

After a lengthy conference with much ado over nothing, they came to an agreement. The tailors would go back to the Palace with the costume to end all costumes and thereby please the Emperor. And so off they went.

Meanwhile, back in the Palace, there was much ranting, raving and gnashing of teeth. The Emperor was in fine form. Curses flew, insults were hurled and fingers were pointed everywhere.

In came the first tailor. "Your Eminence, he said, I have come with the finest spider silk of Spidrovia to create for you the finest most distinguished robe for your State function next week. It's so fine that it cannot be seen by any who are not of noble blood.

The Emperor, who considered himself the finest mind in the Country, thought that something so fine that only he could see it was probably the best there was. He commanded the tailors to busy themselves creating his finery.

Two days later, the tailors 'dressed' the Emperor in his new finery. Of course they dressed him in nothing at all, but, because he was truly an ignorant cull, he believed that he saw the most beautiful of costumes. He preened and pranced in front of his mirror for hours, until it was time for his big function with all the dignitaries of all the lands.

Imagine the shock, surprise and laughter that greeted our finely dressed Nobleman when he entered the dining hall dressed in absolutely nothing.

The moral of this story? You might think your ass is covered..but honey.. we see it.

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   read more blogs!

Blogs by theSkwirl:
Ridiculosity!
Pervian Nights.. or An Invitation to Rumble
A Continuation of a Sort...
So...
Once Upon a Time... (maybe twice)
Bloggity Blog de blog blog blog
Celebrating St. Patricks ... pagan style Yo Padraic!
A Skwirl with Spring and Cabin Fever
Super Bowl Commercials and Questionable Content
Things My Momma Taught Me....
Whaddya Think?
My favorite repost for Comet
Once Upon A Time: In Pervia
Musings on Life Part 2
Musings On Life... part 1 tbc maybe
To All of You, From Lil' Ol' Me.
Scientifical Type Discoveries and Harpy Howlerdaze!
Best Christmas Ever..
Just Dropped In To Say...
Are You Stalking Me Now?
A Couple Lil Things.
Because One Day We Might...
And, Thank YOU so much for your service.
Like Swine Flu
Child Safety Tips from The Onion (it's a damned joke)


Comments:

post a comment!

sugarnspice005

Jan 19 @ 9:01PM  
Ain't that the truth!

leaving a kudo for that one.
girlcountry

Jan 19 @ 9:02PM  
Go Skwirl! Go Skwirl!
RJ53

Jan 19 @ 9:04PM  
Well put and so true. Kudos
MsHelle

Jan 19 @ 9:12PM  
Love the story - greenie for you. Glad I'm not of royal blood and I usually try to keep my fat ass covered at all times.
DarkKnightWalking

Jan 19 @ 9:24PM  
theSkwirl

Jan 19 @ 9:27PM  
Hey DKW, I see that we jumped at the same contusion tonight.
drcocktail87

Jan 19 @ 9:48PM  
The Emperors New Clothes....and old fairy tale by Hans Christian Andersen

Kind of weak, but it doesn't take much to get the cattle to moo in Pervia....lol
lunanegra

Jan 19 @ 9:48PM  
"I Like This"

(to borrow from Facebook)

Oh, and a green silk Kudo
sugarnspice005

Jan 19 @ 9:58PM  
Skwirl....let me apologize ahead of time.



Kind of weak, but it doesn't take much to get the cattle to moo in Pervia....lol

Hey! Here's an idea....GROW THE FUCK UP! What the hell???? You back in freakin 3rd grade or what???????? You don't fucking like us here? Well, don't let the door redden that blinding white ass on your way out.

Fuck!!! You have GOT to be the most lonely, bitter son of a bitch I've EVER seen!




Again Skwirl...sorry. If you want to remove this....go for it.
RevDocLove

Jan 19 @ 10:12PM  
Great blog Skwirl..Kinda' shows a blinding white ass where it's at
borty293

Jan 19 @ 10:14PM  
If the Emporer had only come to my closet...he would have been dressed in the finest of silk.

Perhaps he did and didn't realize, I moved to the cupboard under the stairs...
belle1010

Jan 19 @ 10:15PM  
Kudzoo for you, my loveliest furry friend. And kisses too!
drcocktail87

Jan 19 @ 10:30PM  
blinding white ass where it's at

He should know kids.
RevDocLove

Jan 19 @ 10:40PM  
blinding white ass where it's at

He should know kids.

Now your true nature comes out..You like boys
theSkwirl

Jan 19 @ 10:48PM  
Now, now children, do I need to tell another bedtime story? Any more fussing and I'll put you all in a time out. Don't want that do we? So behave yourselves in my blog. My property.. my rules.. don't like it? step OFF.
theSkwirl

Jan 19 @ 10:55PM  
Oh and indeed, this is blatantly plagiarized from a story written and published by Hans Christian Anderson in April 1837. When the plagiarism is this blatant.. who really needs a statement?
tassie1

Jan 19 @ 11:10PM  
april 1837 ?

isn't that the year we first met and skipped daintily through the forest heaving nuts at peasants and village idiots
theSkwirl

Jan 19 @ 11:13PM  
I believe that it might have been my darlin Tassie, come, let us pussyfoot!

BTW.. pussyfoot is also plagiarized.. bonus points for who knows from whence.
tassie1

Jan 19 @ 11:18PM  
well that rules out how I used to measure the ex's then
theSkwirl

Jan 19 @ 11:21PM  
Best joke I've heard all week! Right here on my very own blog. Damn I wish I hadn't self kudo'd earlier cuz I'd have given one just for that answer!
orzie

Jan 20 @ 2:17AM  
pop your pussy
pop your pussy
casuallylooking

Jan 20 @ 3:35AM  
When the plagiarism is this blatant.. who really needs a statement?
Evidently some people...
I guess we all need to be more careful to cover our asses at all times, Sam. No matter how simple we think it may be or how much we give others unspoken credit..........



BTW.. pussyfoot is also plagiarized.. bonus points for who knows from whence.

Pussy foot
While Theodore Roosevelt did use and popularize this term, he did not invent it. Pussyfoot, which means a delicate soft step comes from the imagery of a cat's careful tread. To pussyfoot is to proceed with caution. The term is American in origin and dates back at least to 1893. It also means someone who advocates prohibition; a teetotaler. This usage derives from William E. "Pussyfoot" Johnson, (1862-1945) a prohibitionist who traveled to London in 1916 to spread the good word.

dmbchick420

Jan 20 @ 8:27AM  


Loved it!!!!!
theSkwirl

Jan 20 @ 12:33PM  
Crap, does that mean I have to give credit for the idea of snow white and the seven deadly sins too? geeeze ok..
StraddleMyNose

Jan 21 @ 2:04AM  
drcocktail87

Jan 21 @ 1:56PM  
let me apologize ahead of time

Apology accepted!
Ewe_Wish

Jan 21 @ 2:03PM  
Hmmm............I always did love your stories.........you have a talent for taking something old and revising to fit a given situation.........So if its blatantly plagiarized or not.........carry on my skwirly girl............ A little green acorn for this blog......
sugarnspice005

Jan 21 @ 2:11PM  
Let me reiterate:


Skwirl....let me apologize ahead of time.



Kind of weak, but it doesn't take much to get the cattle to moo in Pervia....lol

Hey! Here's an idea....GROW THE FUCK UP! What the hell???? You back in freakin 3rd grade or what???????? You don't fucking like us here? Well, don't let the door redden that blinding white ass on your way out.

Fuck!!! You have GOT to be the most lonely, bitter son of a bitch I've EVER seen!




Again Skwirl...sorry. If you want to remove this....go for it.



Some people are unbelievably............................................never mind.
Dione

Jan 21 @ 2:34PM  
Hmmm............I always did love your stories.........you have a talent for taking something old and revising to fit a given situation.........So if its blatantly plagiarized or not.........carry on my skwirly girl............ A little green acorn for this blog......
Times three... plus another green acorn!
Looking4ever

Jan 21 @ 2:46PM  
I liked the fairytale but the hatred spewed forth in some of the comments scares me. I think I am going to have nightmares. Skwirl, come sleep with me and keep the monsters at bay? Pweeze?


Oh, and, "Moo!"
BritnBrat

Jan 21 @ 2:47PM  
Skwirl, come sleep with me and keep the monsters at bay? Pweeze?

Yeah, she says this, but yet she wouldn't spoon me this morning
Brat
dmbchick420

Jan 21 @ 2:49PM  
L4E....I'll cum sleep with you....Skwirl is welcome to join
Looking4ever

Jan 21 @ 3:30PM  
L4E....I'll cum sleep with you....Skwirl is welcome to join

Oh! I like this idea....
Looking4ever

Jan 21 @ 3:31PM  
Yeah, she says this, but yet she wouldn't spoon me this morning
Brat


Well, remember the old people thing?????? It was a HUGE turn off
gardasian

Jan 22 @ 12:35AM  
I've always been a fan of Andersen's work. And the Skwirl's retelling of this one is both mesmerizing and relevant. Two thumbs up and a greenie too!
theSkwirl

Jan 22 @ 1:48PM  
*wanders through humming a Carly Simon tune*

Hi y'all.. I'm stewing on a new story... I'll get back with yas.

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Once Upon A Time: In Pervia