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Crude Funnies

posted 1/17/2010 8:48:15 AM |

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tagged: fuck, funny, sunshine

Sunshine79

Some old, some new. Just enjoy!

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Q. What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common?
A. They can both smell it, but can't eat it.

Q. You know why they say that eating oysters will improve a man's sex life?
A. Because women know if he'll eat one of those, he'll eat anything!

Q. Why does a bride smile when she's walking down the aisle?
A. She knows she's given her last blow job.

Q. Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist?
A. Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.

Q. What's the only animal with an asshole in the middle of its back?
A. A police horse.

Q. What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half mast?
A. They're hiring.

Q. Did you hear Richard Simmons had plastic surgery to get his love handles removed?
A. Yeah...now he has no ears.

Q. Do you know how to eat a frog?
A. You put one leg over each ear.

Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring, and good looking?
A. They already have boyfriends.

Q. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog.
A. After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

Q. Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
A. Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.

Q. What do you call a guy who never farts in public?
A. A private tutor.

Q. What do you call a musician without a girlfriend?
A. Homeless.

Q. Why did the Avon lady walk funny?
A. Her lipstick

Q. What does the cannibal do just after he dumped his girlfriend?
A. Wiped his ass.

Q. What is the smallest hotel in the world?
A. A pussy, cause you have to leave the bags outside.

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Anybody wanna fuck?

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dmbchick420

Jan 17 @ 8:57AM

A private tutor....

Yes Get Bunny and the pussy pump

RevDocLove

Jan 17 @ 9:02AM

Wordsofwit

Jan 17 @ 9:04AM

Some of those are really funny and a couple I had never heard, so slipping you a green cookie.

frank747

Jan 17 @ 10:17AM

as always madam you make me wanna bust a gut. i do envy you and your searchin for all these goodies to spread around. hell at one time i thought i was the funny one in the world. but you have got me beat by a mile.
only joke that i have ever made up is more of a pun. "what type of group do you have play music, at a planned parenting meeting?" why a rubber band of course.
sorry about bein so lame but 39 years ago it cracked a whole lot of us up.

soft_touch938

Jan 17 @ 11:19AM

Now that ya mention it my Avon lady does walk funny....

Thanks for the laugh...good ones...

StraddleMyNose

Jan 17 @ 11:47AM

LilGriz

Jan 17 @ 1:21PM

Yeah, still waiting to

How are a woman and a frying pan the same??
You have to heat them both up before putting in the sausage..

ksk72

Jan 17 @ 3:58PM

a police horse

OMG WAY to sore right now

KitKat25

Jan 18 @ 12:09AM

Q. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A. After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

Sad but true in some cases.

Some of these were quite funny Sunshine and as usual, I haven't heard most of them. I know...apparently I live under a rock. Leaving you a greenie.

likearock69

Jan 19 @ 1:16AM

Love these.

I have a feeling a few will slip out in front of an attractive chic the next time I'm drunk in a bar...

Q. What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half mast?
A. They're hiring.

Q. What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common?
A. They can both smell it, but can't eat it.

shyguy140

Jan 20 @ 9:56AM

Great jokes. I needed a laugh today

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