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Is the Lack of Oral Sex a Deal Breaker?

posted 1/15/2010 9:26:17 PM |
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tagged: oral sex, question

I've given the topic of oral sex a lot of thought recently...yes; I know...ooh la la... I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one on AMD thinking about this topic.'s a great topic. Anyway, I've come to the conclusion that there are those of us who love "it" and can't imagine life without "it"...and those of us who could live without "it" and be just fine.

For awhile, I thought I was a part of the first group, but I've come to the conclusion that this is not true. Partly because if you've never had great oral sex, you don't know what you're missing...and partly because I'm so tired of dealing with guys who think gals should be fine with giving them nice long blow jobs while they are lucky to have a guy go down on them for 5 minutes. Talk about a double standard.

So guys and gals of AMD...I would love to hear your opinion on this topic.

1. Is the lack of oral sex a deal breaker?

2. Would you be able to be a part of a committed relationship if you were not receiving oral sex and there was a good reason for the lack of "it"?

3. Is oral sex important to you, or could you live without "it"?

For me, I think there would have to be a REALLY good reason why I wasn't receiving oral sex within a committed relationship. If there wasn't a good reason, and he was expecting a lot of nice long blow jobs, I would definitely have to re-evaluate the relationship.

Your turn...

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Jan 15 @ 9:29PM  
Lack of brains and passion are deal breakers...the rest? Meh.

Jan 15 @ 9:39PM  
I love Oral Sex.. and I'm good at it.. not the best by any means though my g/f might argue that point when you peel her off the roof.

Lack of it is not gonna be the deal breaker though.. unless I am expected to give but not receive.. that pisses me off.. I mean it, seriously.. you want me to blow/eat you but I get squat? NO. forget it.. and I expect as much time and effort put into what you give me as what I give you.. why? because .. I do my very best for you. If you don't value me enough to do your very best for me? see ya.

Did that answer your questions?

oh.. no.. yeah I could go without it if there was a good reason.. like say a disease carried by body fluids..

Jan 15 @ 9:43PM  
I love being sucked dry by her. And the fact that I would really REALLY love to go down on her sucking on her clit while reaching all the way to the back of her wall to get that really sweet spot, and then side to side on her walls with my tongue as I begin to curl the tip of my tongue upwards pressing on her g-spot to make her cum very hard. I love giving her oral that way, along with her facesitting on my face while I can do it that way too as she humps and grinds really hard on my tongue till she explodes in my mouth and all over my face.

Jan 15 @ 9:51PM  
These are pretty good questions. First off, I wouldn't try to coerce anyone into anything they're uncomfortable with. Don't get me wrong...I love oral sex. Both giving and receiving. But if you really love someone, boundaries must be respected. I could live without it if I had to. A good reason for lack of it could range from a bad experience to a person just being turned off by the very thought (and yes, there are those out there who are turned off by the thought). There are a multitude of ways a committed couple could please each other in bed (or on the floor, in the bathroom, on the kitchen counter..ahem!) These things need to be discussed beforehand so that boundaries can be established. I, for one, certainly wouldn't throw away a potentially happy and productive relationship just because "Uncle Woody" wasn't allowed to tickle her tonsils.

There's my two cents plus change.

Jan 15 @ 11:02PM  
1. Is the lack of oral sex a deal breaker?

No- there are many other ways to satisfy and be satisfied! It's hard enough finding a caring partner as it is, without compounding the problem!

2. Would you be able to be a part of a committed relationship if you were not receiving oral sex and there was a good reason for the lack of "it"?

I would want to know what has changed in a relationship before I made a radical decision to break it off! There could be several reasons for not getting oral sex if you were and if you weren't and the rest of the sex and the relationship in general is satisfactory, then it's a moot point anyway IMO!

3. Is oral sex important to you, or could you live without "it"?

Of course I enjoy it but, if everything else in a relationship sexual wise and other wise is working well, why screw up a good thing?


Jan 15 @ 11:47PM  
Not receiving I could get by with...but not that would be really difficult for me to do without.

Jan 16 @ 1:15AM  
I rate how attracted I am to a guy by imagining (or really hearing) him say "Suck it!" And I could NOT fall in love with a guy who wasn't good at giving face. THAT's how important it is to me! If that goes, it's done...

Jan 16 @ 3:20AM  
deal breaker??? yep!...but if I am on that deserted island without any, I bet it isn't the first thing that I miss....

Jan 16 @ 6:28AM  

Jan 16 @ 8:12AM  
1. Is the lack of oral sex a deal breaker?

2. Would you be able to be a part of a committed relationship if you were not receiving oral sex and there was a good reason for the lack of "it"?

3. Is oral sex important to you, or could you live without "it"?
Oral sex is not particularly important to me.

The real deal breaker would be in the attitude of the other person. I have no use for narrow-minded, stuck-in-the-mud thinking,. Sex should be wild and creative. Life should be wild and creative.

Jan 16 @ 8:47AM  
ummm YES...what can i say

Jan 16 @ 9:24AM  
I'm with Looking4E on this one.

Jan 16 @ 9:34AM  
1. Yes

2. No

3. I can't live without it. My motto is “You get what you give!”

Jan 16 @ 10:21AM  
yep, its a deal breaker for me

Jan 16 @ 10:24AM  
Let's face it (pun intended), most of us enjoy oral sex. The lack of it is not the only issue for me. The quality of oral sex is what can be a deal breaker for me... some men and women just don't know how to do it well, aren't interested in learning how to please their partner or just don't care as long as they are satisfied. So:

1. If oral sex is non-existent, but everything else is agreeable it wouldn't be a deal breaker.
2. I was in this situation... sex life was fantastic, then changed with a diagnosis which prevented oral sex. It didn't have any negative affect upon our relationship, but I missed it.
3. Oral sex is important, but it is not the only sexual component that brings satisfaction. I could live without it... I mean I live without it now, so what's the dif—LOL!

Jan 16 @ 2:32PM  
Life should be wild and creative.

Jan 17 @ 9:31PM  
Thanks so much Pervia for the very interesting and diverse comments. Many of you made some excellent points...and caused me to look at this topic from a different point of view. Thanks again for your participation.

Jan 18 @ 8:03PM  
I take the opinion that it is more blessed to give than to receive. Oral sex is top priority for. I get more pleasure in seeing my partner enjoying..especially the moans and groan just before the squirt.....hmmm.
I will feel denied if I was not allowed this privilege.

Jan 19 @ 12:42AM  
I love giving oral sex. I think I like giving it more than receiving it, but I do like getting it. A woman that isn't willing to go down on me after I do so for her...yea, I'd have to re-evaluate the relationship too.

Feb 3 @ 9:24PM  
sure it is she gets it or he and you dont not cool

but it is funny


Feb 28 @ 2:30PM  
hmmm, musta missed this topic...

I'm more of a giver than a reciever.
but being on the recieving end is awesome too sometimes.

Feb 28 @ 2:45PM  
I've never experienced anyone that doesn't go down. If I did, I would wonder...and probably not have sex with that person again....

Feb 28 @ 2:58PM  
It is a case by case thing, but, yeah, points are deducted. If a woman doesn't gobble the goop, it ain't worth a poop.

Feb 28 @ 6:22PM  
1. Is the lack of oral sex a deal breaker?

2. Would you be able to be a part of a committed relationship if you were not receiving oral sex and there was a good reason for the lack of "it"?

3. Is oral sex important to you, or could you live without "it"?
To answer all three lots of couples have resorted to plain old grudge fucking because one, the other, or both are pissed off about something & literally settle for mad fucking because they are committed & will not cheat. On the other hand some men go outside the box to get their jollies inside another box. Some women cheat as well. To avoid heartache & frustration a good majority get into swinging & don't worry about the lack of oral because somebody in the crowd is up for it if not your significant other.
Gearing back to question #1 Not really if you are committed you just miss out.

Feb 28 @ 8:45PM  
Yep, it's still important to me!

Mar 12 @ 11:20AM  
1. Is the lack of oral sex a deal breaker?
Yes. If she won't let me go down on her then I'd have to find someone else that will.

2. Would you be able to be a part of a committed relationship if you were not receiving oral sex and there was a good reason for the lack of "it"?
Unfortunately I am. But what's a good reason?

3. Is oral sex important to you, or could you live without "it"?
Oral sex is extremely important to me. I can't feel totally satisfied until I've eaten her out. I can't live without dining on pussy at least several times a week, it's as important as breathing. I love receiving too, but I don't need to receive as much as I need to give.

Sep 16 @ 5:46PM  
Not a deal breaker

was married to a lady for 13 yeas and no oral from her

Love giving it to her but would be nice to recive from time to time

Oct 8 @ 5:53PM  
can we try for 30 minutes and see my dear.
man asking.

Dec 6 @ 7:24PM  
i love doing oral on a lady and i will do it for as long as she can take it


Dec 29 @ 10:15PM  
Since sex is more than sex in a relationship, but more of a mutual give and take there had better be a very good reason for no oral sex. I am not the best at it any longer but I have been know to satisfy with nothing but the tongue and fingers. When you have a partner that returns the joy and enthusiam of exploration and cunnlings or fellatio there is nothing that can bring two closer together during intercourse. To me a relationship is about mutual stimulation and satisfaction. Since I was in a one sided relationship for a long time, and was giving 10 times more than receiving, yes it would be a deal breaker.

Dec 29 @ 11:23PM  
Oral sex is a deal breaker for me! I cum only from oral sex, so two other questions are unnecessary in my case. I will not stay in relationships if a guy doesn't satisfy me sexually. Whatever anybody says I personally keep running into problem: ALL men like blow jobs, nobody EVER said "no" to it. but I've met men who said: I don't go down on a woman, I've met men who does it for 2-3 minutes, I've met men who totally suck at it, etc.etc. It is very hard to find a guy who is good at it. At least I know how good it can be, so I know exactly what I'm looking for. I'm not saying that care and affection are not important into relationships, but people who say sex is not important lying to themselves.

Jan 1 @ 12:57PM  
It is not a deal breaker, but it can be fun: eespecially 69.

Jan 1 @ 1:19PM  
Although, it would not be a dealbreaker if I love the poor schlub...... I am selfish enough to expect it!! I have been in a relationship where it never happened either way, but I longed for it, (as I was born to facesit) Longing is never a good place for anyone to be, and not healthy for a any relationship. I do not want anyone begrudgingly going down on me...that'd really bite, and so might he......But I give as good as I get, so it may be to your advantage to give your all!!

Jan 1 @ 1:45PM  
(as I was born to facesit)
Now to get more and more women feeling the same way!

Jan 2 @ 4:47PM  
Well i love giving oral and have met a couple of ladies that would not let me do it and that was a deal breaker. If i cant atleast spend 20 mins with my tongue down there i am not interested

Jan 5 @ 12:27PM  
oral sex is a must its only fair the want theres sucked so they need to di a lil lick lick
lol yes its a deal breaker gotta have it cant live without it if im doing him

Jan 5 @ 1:48PM  
1. Um, yeah.

2. I still like to please, but I can be persuasive, patient.

3. Um, yeah. See #3 again. But I wouldnt resort to anything on the side if he wasnt giving it up. Sex isnt *that* important to me.

Jan 6 @ 9:30PM  
yes lack of oral sex would be a deal breaker but i would have not made it to the stage of comitment with out recieving or giving for that matter. i love to give it as much as i like to recieve my wife always has to tell me to stop when she is done and i just dont want to and she always returns the favor
and for the last question absolutly i love my wife of 13 years and she loves me we are best friends and i would do anything for her but there would have to be a good reason

Jan 7 @ 1:25AM  
let me get some sex........then i will consider answering the GTFO

Jan 9 @ 4:56PM  
1. Yes.
2. No.
3. It's very important. I love to give and receive, but am happy to give and not receive in non-long term serious relationship situations.

Jan 9 @ 10:50PM  
1. Is the lack of oral sex a deal breaker?

2. Would you be able to be a part of a committed relationship if you were not receiving oral sex and there was a good reason for the lack of "it"?

3. Is oral sex important to you, or could you live without "it"?
I could live without it IF, and only IF, there was lots of other sexual activity going on~!

Jan 11 @ 1:13AM  
Those are really great questions and they touch on a hot spot - no pun intended.

If we're talking a relationship with a man, I could go without and be just happy. 99% of men can't do even a decent job of giving oral.

Now if we're discussing a relationship with a woman...I could live without it, but I would definitely prefer to be receiving some reciprocation there...

That's right, I said it! Women are WAY more likely to know what they're doing than men. ^_^

Jan 12 @ 9:53PM  

Jan 7 @ 7:32PM  
At this stage of life I wouldn't want to be with a woman who didn't enjoy giving and getting oral sex.

When I see a lady who appeals to me my first thought is how she would taste because I love licking, sucking and tasting pussy!

It doesn't require any magical abilities more than a wild enthusiasm for the licking.

Plus, if the lady really enjoys it, her orgasms can be quite intense, particularly if the tongue keeps going and going and going.

So I'm definitely not in the camp lick for 30 seconds and then fuck.

I want to lick for many minutes non stop until we both need to rest.

And then do it some more.

So yes it's a dealbreaker.

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Is the Lack of Oral Sex a Deal Breaker?