AddThis Social Bookmark Button
Free Dating

Floppy Dick Care

posted 1/13/2010 8:45:56 AM |
7 kudosgive kudos what's this?
    report abuse
tagged: fuck, funny, dick, sunshine
  Sunshine79

***WARNING: This was intended for care of floppy disks. I just changed a few things around and it seemed a hell of alot more interesting!!

By following the instructions below, you should have error-free, long-lasting floppy dick.

1. Never leave dicks in the dick drive, as data can leak out of the dick and corrode the inner mechanics of the drive. Dicks should be rolled up and stored in pencil holders.

2. Dicks should be cleaned and waxed once a week. Microscopic metal particles can be removed by waving a powerful magnet over the surface of the dick. Any stubborn metallic shavings can be removed with scouring powder and soap. When waxing the dicks, make sure the surface is even. This will allow the dick to spin faster, resulting in better access time.

3. Do not fold dicks unless they do not fit into the drive. "Big" dicks may be folded and used in "little" dick drives.

4. Never insert a dick into the drive upside down. The data can fall off the surface of the dick and jam the intricate mechanics of the drive.

5. Dicks cannot be backed up by running them through the xerox machine. If your data is going to need to be backed up, simply insert two dicks into the drive. Whenever you update a document, the data will be written on both dicks.

6. Dicks should not be inserted or removed from the drive while the red light is flashing. Doing so could result in smeared or possibly unreadable text. Occasionally the red light remains flashing in what is known as a "hung" or "hooked" state. If your system is "hooking" you will probably need to insert a few coins before being allowed access to the slot.

7. If your dick is full and you need more storage space, remove the dick from the drive and shake vigorously for 2 minutes. This will pack the data enough (Data Compression) to allow for more storage. Be sure to cover all the openings with scotch tape to prevent loss data.

8. Access time can be greatly improved by cutting more holes in the dick jacket. This will provide more simultaneous access points to the dick.

9. Dicks may be used as stirs for beverages, provided that they are properly waxed beforehand. Be sure to wipe the dicks dry before using. (see item 2 above)

10. Periodically spray dicks with insecticide to prevent system bugs from spreading.

......... ......... ......... ........... ........... ..... .

Anybody wanna fuck?

Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)

   read more blogs!

Blogs by Sunshine79:
Future Doctors?
Crude Funnies
AMD Exercise Plan
Strange & Interesting Facts
Humor Just For The Ladies ;)
AMD Chinese Take-Out
This Is Why I Don't Do.....
Floor Models
What It REALLY Means......
Actual Responses On Welfare Apps
Confused Woodpeckers
How Many Chickens Does It Take To Cross The Road?
Floppy Dick Care
Cup O' Joe
Camel Toe - Yes or No?
Last Words.....
For All The New Yorkers!
U Know A 404?
School Papers
What's A 710 Knob??
Perfect AMD Breakfast
No Pets Allowed!
Such Dirty, Dirty Minds!
Short Of A Story
Blog Whore


Comments:

post a comment!

soft_touch938

Jan 13 @ 9:30AM  
Now that's funny!!!
Dione

Jan 13 @ 9:57AM  
Even though floppy dicks are rarely utilized these days, it's still good to know how to maximize their usage!
Never insert a dick into the drive upside down.
Also helps to avoid cross contamination which can be very unpleasant if it occurs.
whisperingcomet

Jan 13 @ 9:59AM  
now we are blogging!
dmbchick420

Jan 13 @ 10:04AM  
Greenie
TexasRacer

Jan 13 @ 10:08AM  
OMG that was funny. Back in the day I worked as a computer tech and we received a IBM service memo in regards to cleaning "Mouse Balls" Anyway, here's the memo that had us rolling on the floor for weeks.

MEMO

Re: Replacement of Mouse Balls.

If a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Units). Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel.

Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending upon the manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop off method. Domestic balls are replaced by using the twist off method. Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive. However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge. Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately.

It is recommended that each person have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction. Any customer missing his balls should contact the local personnel in charge of removing and replacing these necessary items.

Please keep in mind that a customer without properly working balls is an unhappy customer.
sugarnspice005

Jan 13 @ 10:51AM  
1. Never leave dicks in the dick drive, as data can leak out of the dick and corrode the inner mechanics of the drive. Dicks should be rolled up and stored in pencil holders.

There is a comment that comes to mind.....................................


3. Do not fold dicks unless they do not fit into the drive. "Big" dicks may be folded and used in "little" dick drives.



10. Periodically spray dicks with insecticide to prevent system bugs from spreading.



You have quite the imagination Sunshine! Leaving you a kudo for the laugh this morning.
RJ53

Jan 13 @ 10:59AM  
You made me laugh so hard I almost spilled the tea. A greenie coming your way.
PinkToeNails

Jan 13 @ 11:07AM  


You get my first greenie for the day! My tummy hurts from laughing!!

RevDocLove

Jan 13 @ 12:03PM  
Good ones young'un
RevDocLove

Jan 13 @ 1:07PM  
I just keep mine in my britches where it's nice and cozy
mo_stargazer

Jan 13 @ 2:44PM  
OMG that was hilarious. I would leave a kudos if I could!

free dating | mission statement | testimonials | safety warning | report abuse | safe list | privacy | legal | 2257 | advertise | link to us

© Copyright 2000-2014 Online Singles, LLC.
OS-WEB01
Floppy Dick Care