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For All The New Yorkers!

posted 1/11/2010 8:45:15 AM |
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tagged: fuck, funny, sunshine
  Sunshine79

You Know You're From New York When...

You're 35 years old and don't have a driver's license.

You ride in a subway car with no air conditioning just because there are seats available.

You take the train home and you know exactly where on the platform the doors will open that will leave you right in front of the exit stairway.

You know what a "regular" coffee is.

It's not Manhattan...... It's the "city".

There is no north and south. It's "uptown" or "downtown." If you're really from New York you have absolutely no concept of where north and south are.... And east or west is "crosstown."

You cross the street anywhere but on the corners and you yell at cars for not respecting your right to do it.

You move 3,000 miles away, spend 10 years learning the local language and people still know you're from Brooklyn the minute you open your mouth.

You return after 10 years and the first foods you want are a "real" pizza and a "real" bagel.

A 500 square foot apartment is large.

You know the differences between all the different Ray's pizzas.

You are not under the mistaken impression that any human being would be able to actually understand a p.a. Announcement on the subway.

You wouldn't bother ordering pizza in any other city.

You get ready to order dinner every night and must choose from the major food groups which are: Chinese, Italian, Mexican or Indian.

You're not the least bit interested in going to Times Square on New Year's eve.

Your internal clock is permanently set to know when alternate side of the street parking regulations are in effect.

Someone bumps into you, and you check for your wallet.

You don't even notice the lady walking down the road having a perfectly normal conversation with herself.

You pay "only" $230 a month to park your car.

The presidential visit is a major traffic jam, not an honor.

You can nap on the subway and never miss your stop.

The deli guy gives you a straw with any beverage you buy, even if it's a beer.

Anybody wanna fuck?

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Comments:

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ynot7769

Jan 11 @ 8:52AM  
how true...i think my mom learned to drive at ...35???
course by then she was in Ohio and no way to take sub way .they aint got one
LilGriz

Jan 11 @ 9:08AM  
Don't forget that at the reading of a will, you hope you get the deceased's parking spot ...

You betcha ... need me to cum down and warm you up??? We know what chilly weather y'all are having way down there ...
RevDocLove

Jan 11 @ 9:13AM  
Ain't that the truth???
Wordsofwit

Jan 11 @ 9:23AM  
"If you're not in New York, you're out of town." Tony Bennett
ynot7769

Jan 11 @ 9:30AM  
as a kid in NY....i thought EVERYONE west of jersy...or south of ny...were ..................................SOUTHERNERS
RJ53

Jan 11 @ 9:51AM  
I moved there right out of high school and loved there for years. Guilty onn all charges and now I will be homesick for the rest of the day.


Oh and kick ass greek food in the Village and it is John's Pizza and not Ray's.
Sunshine79

Jan 11 @ 9:53AM  
Don't forget that at the reading of a will, you hope you get the deceased's parking spot ...

OMG, that was fuckin' priceless!!

"If you're not in New York, you're out of town." Tony Bennett

I love that Bruce!
RJ53

Jan 11 @ 10:04AM  
min ago
I moved there right out of high school and loved there for years. Guilty onn all charges and now I will be homesick for the rest of the day

Note to self never try to type anything before having breakfast.

It should read

I moved there right out of high school and lived there for years.
RJ53

Jan 11 @ 10:09AM  
as a kid in NY....i thought EVERYONE west of jersy...or south of ny...were ..................................SOUTHERNERS

I still do. LOL

After living up there for years and coming back to the south. (NC) It was culture shock. I went into a local bar and ordered a Brandy Alexander and they put ice in it I went in to get a coffee for my dad and ordered a regular coffee and got the blank look from the girl behind the counter and I still can't find really good pizza.
ynot7769

Jan 11 @ 10:23AM  
and I still can't find really good pizza.

and you probably never will...i've searched from MI....down as far as south texas (rio grande valley) over to the carolines and up the eastern seaboard to MD and back here to IN and YET to find it...wait..for a year there actully was a place in Indianapolis....2 cuzinns....brooklyn and bensenhurts...great italan pizza BUT told me still not NYC type cheez..too damn expensive..last time i went looking they'd gone under...
Wordsofwit

Jan 11 @ 10:33AM  
We have a few individual independent establishments (my favorite is Sal's) run by immigrants from New York. Grimaldi"s also opened a pizza house down here last year.
RJ53

Jan 11 @ 11:39AM  
We have a few individual independent establishments (my favorite is Sal's) run by immigrants from New York. Grimaldi"s also opened a pizza house down here last year.

But unless they are getting their cheese and the water from New York it just isn't the same. Might be good pizza but just does not quite have that certain flavor.
Sunshine79

Jan 11 @ 11:59AM  
We have a few individual independent establishments (my favorite is Sal's) run by immigrants from New York. Grimaldi"s also opened a pizza house down here last year.

Yes, I was going to say, being a New Yorker doesn't help makin' a good pizza, it's the water!
theSkwirl

Jan 11 @ 12:36PM  
I remember when I went there for an 11 day visit.. and my Auntie's best friend said to me.. Don't you stay there Miss Sam, that's yankee country!
dmbchick420

Jan 11 @ 12:43PM  
I've never been there, but my ex did tell me they have the greatest pizza ever!
ksk72

Jan 11 @ 2:51PM  
That was a nice reminder why I have no desire to go to NY I like driving and I am not a big fan of pizza



Ooohhh yeah today is gonna be fun
StraddleMyNose

Jan 11 @ 3:05PM  
Ya know, after seeing all these, I can honestly say you're right about most of these if not all of them.
drcocktail87

Jan 11 @ 4:08PM  
You're sitting in a bar in the Virgin Islands and the guy next to you wants to watch the Yankee game.
RJ53

Jan 11 @ 5:14PM  

1 hr 2 mins ago
You're sitting in a bar in the Virgin Islands and the guy next to you wants to watch the Yankee game


There are only two baseball teams, The Yankees and the team who is going to lose to the Yankees that day.
goldvenom69

Feb 14 @ 8:00PM  
This all bullshit all of that is not true.

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For All The New Yorkers!