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Tiger Woods Holiday Poem

posted 12/19/2009 10:41:56 AM |
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Tiger Woods Holiday Poem

Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house

Tiger Woods he came flying, chased by his spouse.

She wielded a nine iron and wasn't too merry,

Because a bimbo’s phone number she found on his Blackberry.

He’d been cheating on poor little Elin,

And as each day went by another whore came out squealing.

He’d been on Holly, on Jaimee, on Rachel, on Cori,

On Joselyn and Kalika, TMZ had the story.

From the top of the world to above the fold,

Tiger’s ever more sorted tale, it was told.

With hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,

And when he wasn't hosing them, he sent them hot texts.

He crashed his Caddy, but didn't call OnStar,

Yet he played “spank me daddy” with a swanky old porn star.

He’s been naughty, so with Santa he hasn't a chance,

Except the big lump of coal that matches the lump in his pants.

But despite all his crying and begging and pleading,

Tiger’s wife went right out, bought a new home in Sweden ..

And I heard her exclaim as she packed up the Escalade,

If you're going to get laid, then I’m going to get paid.

Now she’s not pouting, in fact she’s of good cheer,

Because her prenup made Christmas come early this year.

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Dec 19 @ 10:46AM  
Cute and I anticipate it coming into my inbox from many people.

Dec 19 @ 11:01AM  

Dec 19 @ 11:04AM  
LOL....very funny.

Oh and I see this is your 5th blog, which automaticly entitles you to a "wanna fuck".
Hang out here, blog long blog often, hell there aint no rules here. We have been self desribed as a bunch of misfits, and we always have room for one more. Welcome and Merry Christmas,

I realize that I should have sent this as a private message, but WTF, it's' the blogs and I can do whatever I want...

Dec 19 @ 11:18AM  
Love your attitude Comet...

And so true...

Merry Christmas friends and hopefully future Mistress's....

Dec 19 @ 11:49AM  
Prenup is only worth 20 mil..
The rest is 1.5 mil per month for the five years they were married
The figure I heard was in the neighborhood of 284 million..Nice neighborhood

Dec 19 @ 5:35PM  
Nice to hear someone is getting laid, it sure aint me!

Dec 25 @ 6:24PM  
Oh and I see this is your 5th blog, which automaticly entitles you to a "wanna fuck".

Careful gato, she's a liberal and as a conservative you can get a better $$$$

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Tiger Woods Holiday Poem