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Fuck it's cold!!!

posted 12/17/2009 12:50:14 PM |
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  DangerousCurves999

Well it had to happen.... it finally got cold here in tropical Alaska. A major cold front is pushing in from Russia......(yea.. just over the hill Borty) ... and the temperature plumeted from balmy low 40's to 5 F with a wind chill of -9F. So get ready for it you guys are going to start feeling it in about 5 days.

To top it all off the furnace ran out of heating oil sometime last night and I woke up at 7am to a 51F house. Brrrrrrrr It's colder than a witch's tit out there.

No problem I thought... I keep an emergency stash in the shed of 10 gallons for such occcasions.

So I bury myself under the warm blankets psyching myself up to make a dash for the thermal underwear and 2 shirts with a sweatshirt, 2 pairs of socks and my flannel lined carharts without my arse turning blue with cold in the process.... ( you all have heard of a blue streak haven't you? ... That was me sprinting down the hall to the bathroom screaming "FUCK IT'S COLD!!!)

Anyways I start the coffee and don't dare have any before I head out to the shed to brave the elements. (It makes it seem colder out if I warm up first). Flashlight in hand I put on my boots and head out to the shed to grab a 5 gallon bucket of emergency fuel and the filter funnel. Thank god we have had no snow since early November... mind you that would make it warmer.

I drop that by the tank and go get the small folding stepladder as it's easier to pour it in the funnel on top if I am perched above it. At least it's calm.. I have done this before in 45mph winds gusting 70-75mph.... NOT FUN!!!

All is going well as I haul the 5 gallon bucket up the 3 steps and balance it precariously on my knee and start to pour it into the funnel.

WTF!!! It's not going through and the fuel is coming out in goopy gelled chunks. It won't run through the filter. So I hop down and peer into the bucket and all the rest is the same. SHIT!! I must have got a drum of bad fuel. OK no problem... I got another one.. so off I go to get that one. Haul it up the ladder and same damn thing.

My know it all neighbor is watching me and offers the advice of "why don't you just dump it in without the filter."... I bite my tougue to stop myself from uttering.... "Cause it will clog up my heating system and cost me hundreds of dollars for the heat company to fix it you FUCKING MORON!!!" This did not stop me from muttering it under my breath... it HAD to come out somehow..it would not be suppressed.

So after waiting until the heating oil companyopened and I could call and ask for a delivery sometime today here I sit with my hands wrapped around a cup of hot coffee freezing my arse off because I was nice enough to lend my electric ratiator heater to my other nice neighbor who couldn't afford her heating fuel this month.


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Comments:

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sugarnspice005

Dec 17 @ 1:06PM  
And here I am complaining about it being 25 here in Michigan.

So I bury myself under the warm blankets psyching myself up to make a dash for the thermal underwear and 2 shirts with a sweatshirt, 2 pairs of socks and my flannel lined carharts without my arse turning blue with cold in the process.... ( you all have heard of a blue streak haven't you? ... That was me sprinting down the hall to the bathroom screaming "FUCK IT'S COLD!!!)

I'll bet it is!!!!!!!!

girlcountry

Dec 17 @ 1:30PM  
I wondered who that blue streak was!!
PinkToeNails

Dec 17 @ 1:44PM  
LMAO!!! Girl you tell a funny story!!!!



Try to stay warm!!!
1bunny629

Dec 17 @ 2:01PM  
Do you have an electric blanket??? I guess if ya did you would be hunting for the extnsion cord huh? Sorry you got stuck in a pickle. Your neighbor should have helped you instead of barkin stupid advise...what? did his wife throw him out last night cause he acts like a dog????
ynot7769

Dec 17 @ 2:01PM  
Soooo the 40s I gots here's a fuckin heat wave right? :)
ksk72

Dec 17 @ 2:21PM  
Sorry about your heater but keep your darn cold front up there It keeps migrating down to Washington
borty293

Dec 17 @ 3:01PM  
I got a visual on the cold blue bum...kinda stirred my loins...
DangerousCurves999

Dec 17 @ 3:31PM  
YAYY!!! It warmed up to 8F and still -9F with the wind chill outside.

I got fuel delivered an hour ago and then tried to prime the furnace... no problem I have done it before. It started to run with me bleeding the air out of the fuel line then my finger slipped off the push in on switch while trying to juggle a fuel line into a jar and the cresent wrench for the blled valve.

Tried pushing the reset button and now the damn thing is just sitting blinking and will not reset. The heating company will not tell me the 30 second trick for getting it reset over the phone. They are insisting on a $90 callout and they are backed up because of frozen pipes and no heat calls. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!


Meanwhile the ambient temperature in the house continues to drop to a cozy 46 F and my hands are too numb to sew.

I would go out and run around completing errands in my car with a nice warm working heater but I need to hang around for the heat company to call god only knows when. If I am not here I go to the back of the line again.

So here is a tip... if you are unemployed in a cold climate... start training as a furnace serviceman or woman. There is work out there for sure. I would pay top cash dollar to have someone here right now!!
DangerousCurves999

Dec 17 @ 3:34PM  
No electric blanket Bunny but I just spent an intimate 5 minutes huddled over the toaster. Then held on to it until it cooled off.

I will never take that appliance for granted again. It doesn't even need batteries to bring such pleasure.
DangerousCurves999

Dec 17 @ 3:35PM  
Break out the sun tan lotion Ynot! I got the sun tan lotion.
DarkKnightWalking

Dec 17 @ 3:43PM  
Google the reset instructions for your brand of furnace.

Fuck a service call.
DangerousCurves999

Dec 17 @ 3:46PM  
I did DK.... They are not working and the damn light won't go off.
mrknowuwell

Dec 17 @ 3:52PM  
and its 70 n sunny right now.....wanna move here???? i need a roomie
RevDocLove

Dec 17 @ 4:01PM  
It's a nice 80 degrees here with a breeze..Just right to have the windows open
If it's any consolation, we do have some upper 40's at night to the mid 60's in the daytime on the way
Now that's fuckin' cold!
DarkKnightWalking

Dec 17 @ 4:14PM  
Hmmm...then perhaps kill the power to the furnace for about 5 minutes and then try again. It may have a self reset function.
DangerousCurves999

Dec 17 @ 4:17PM  
GOOD NEWS!!!!

The owner of the company has been trying to get into my pants for years. When he found out it was me he called and told me to open the top and remove a jumper then push the switch and replace the jumper then put the cover back on.

I just had to comp him a ticket to the awards dinner for my fishing tournament next year.

I just bled the air out and I am defrosting as I type. I love this town!!
1bunny629

Dec 17 @ 4:41PM  
I am glad you got it taken care of...I wish you a very very warm evening!
sugarnspice005

Dec 17 @ 6:03PM  
It's a nice 80 degrees here with a breeze..Just right to have the windows open

Send some of that heat this way Rev. Quit keeping it for yourself!
onehornytoad69

Dec 17 @ 6:39PM  
Awesome Story!!!!
BTW...I ran into the same Problem..Last year ...a friends... Friend had ran out of Fuel Oil...and couldn't get it started..!!! I have never dealt with a new furnace...and it also had a reset button..with the Light and all that.....(Like you are talking about)
I just couldn't help her!!! (shame too...A lil sexy red head.. )
It turned out that the Line was stopped up..and wouldnt allow the reset to reset untill it had some oil pressure!!!
Keep warm sweety!!!!
Wordsofwit

Dec 17 @ 9:25PM  
Well, no shit. It's Alaska, what do you expect in December, the southern hemisphere? Sorry to appear to be an ass, but unless you make gobs of money, relocate.
DesertSmile

Dec 17 @ 9:37PM  
All this talk of cold makes me glad I live in the desert.
DangerousCurves999

Dec 17 @ 9:55PM  
Well, no shit. It's Alaska, what do you expect in December, the southern hemisphere? Sorry to appear to be an ass, but unless you make gobs of money, relocate.

Normally we don't get so extreme. I can stand it for the few occasions we do get crappy weather.

And yes I do make gobs of money working part time from home. I have a business monopoly here on the island.


... sneaks in and puts a lump of coal in WOW's Chrisrmas stocking....
LilGriz

Dec 17 @ 11:34PM  
YAYY!!! It warmed up to 8F and still -9F with the wind chill outside.

Yeah, know what that is like....been out camping in weather like that.

My know it all neighbor is watching me

Hey, I have one like that too. Having grown up here in the North country, I am used to shoveling snow. Well last year he told me I was using the wrong kind of shovel and not scooping right. Wanna guess what was going through my mind???

Glad all is working...I know what a bitch it is when there is no heat, as it does get a tad chilly up here too .
dirtywhiteboy34

Dec 18 @ 12:51AM  
It was -10 in Omaha (or as I've come to know it...goober-ha) about 3 days ago.
Had to buy an additive to pour in the fuel tanks to keep the fuel from gelling up. Otherwise, I could be on the side of the road and NOT in a house with a toaster!
Stay warm up there.
DangerousCurves999

Dec 18 @ 1:04AM  
I am toasty warm now.. Tank is full... furnace is going. One of the local fishermen brought me a gallon ziplock bag jammed full of live jumbo tiger shrimp. They just finished unloading down at the cannery.

Now where is that pan and the garlic butter.

Now why would I want to move.
theSkwirl

Dec 18 @ 12:24PM  
DC, I'm thinkin we should become better friends.. then you could spend the winter with me, where it's not so cold.. and I can spend the summer with you where it's not so hot!
StraddleMyNose

Dec 19 @ 2:35PM  
It's not cold enough here yet. It's only got down to around 15 degrees so far...
chuck111

Dec 20 @ 7:13PM  
well we just got 2 feet of snow here.and i cant do a thing about it because im sick have to see heart doc oh well time for a tune up haha.im am not happy with this oh well stay warm

chuck
ynot7769

Dec 20 @ 7:45PM  
. sneaks in and puts a lump of coal in WOW's Chrisrmas stocking..

see i KNEW there was a reason i liked you

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Fuck it's cold!!!