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Unavoidable Laws of Life...

posted 12/13/2009 10:56:32 AM |
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  Sunshine79

........... ........... ........... ............. ............. .......... ..

When one wishes to unlock a door but has only has one hand free, the keys are in the opposite pocket. (Von fumbles law)

A door will snap shut only when you have left the keys inside. (Yale law of destiny)

When ones hands are covered with oil, grease, or glue, your nose will start to itch. (Law of ichiban)

Your insurance will cover everything but what has happened. (Insurance so sorry law)

When things seem easy to do, it's because you haven't followed all the instructions. (Destiny awaits law)

If you keep your cool when everyone else is losing his, it's probably because you have not realized the seriousness of the problem (law of gravitas)

Most problems are not created nor solved, they only change appearances. (Einstein's law of persistence)

You will run to answer the telephone just as the party hangs up on you. (Principle of dingaling)

Whenever one wants to connect with the Internet, the call you've been waiting for all day will arrive. (Principle of Bellsouth)

If there are only two programs on TV that are worth your time, they will always be at the same time. (Law of wasteland)

The cost is always higher than one budgets for, and it is exactly 3.14 times higher, hence the importance of pi. (Law of pi eyed)

The probability that one will spill food on one's clothes is directly proportional to the need to be clean. (Law of Campbell scoop)

Each and every body sitting on a commode will cause the doorbell to ring. (Law of ogolly gee!)"

Wind velocity will increase proportionally to the cost of one's hairdo.(The donking principle)

After discarding something not used for years, you will need it one week later. (Law of fatal irreversibility)

Arriving early for an appointment will cause the receptionist to be absent, and if one arrives late, everyone else has arrived before you. (Law of de lay)

Do not take life too seriously, because in the end, you won't come out alive anyway." (Theory of absolute certainty)

Anybody wanna fuck?

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Comments:

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Wordsofwit

Dec 13 @ 11:13AM  
You will run to answer the telephone just as the party hangs up on you.

Each and every body sitting on a commode will cause the doorbell to ring.

The important phone call you have been waiting on will come in when you've just started to take a crap or come in while you're engaged in the other important phone call.
LilGriz

Dec 13 @ 11:45AM  
The probability that one will spill food on one's clothes is directly proportional to the need to be clean. (Law of Campbell scoop

And also applies to color..

Each and every body sitting on a commode will cause the doorbell to ring.

Or the phone ... See # 8

Oh yeah, I wanna been too long and will only be longer yet...

somnium

Dec 13 @ 12:23PM  
Som's law of optimism:

I'm positive, if given half a chance, something will fuck up!

Wordsofwit

Dec 13 @ 12:26PM  
The probability that one will spill food on one's clothes is directly proportional to the need to be clean. (Law of Campbell scoop

And also applies to color..

Yes, as well as how much in public you are and proportional to how difficult it is to change clothes.
ksk72

Dec 13 @ 1:21PM  
When one wishes to unlock a door but has only has one hand free, the keys are in the opposite pocket.
Happens to me ALL the time




Of course think I might go see if I can get some
1bunny629

Dec 13 @ 1:32PM  
Do what ever ya want to do today cause if ya die tomoorow ya won't remember!(Law of Who Gives a Fuck)
hot4you120

online now!
Dec 13 @ 2:20PM  
some one will happen to look at you as you need to scratch a lower itch (law of balls uh burnin)
NightOfOld

Dec 13 @ 7:37PM  

If there are only two programs on TV that are worth your time, they will always be at the same time. (Law of wasteland)




Yep, never fails.
sugarnspice005

Dec 13 @ 9:05PM  

You will run to answer the telephone just as the party hangs up on you. (Principle of dingaling)


Whenever one wants to connect with the Internet, the call you've been waiting for all day will arrive. (Principle of Bellsouth)
And that is one reason I will never go back to dial up.


Each and every body sitting on a commode will cause the doorbell to ring. (Law of ogolly gee!)"

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Unavoidable Laws of Life...