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Twuz The Night B4 Motherfucking Christmas

posted 12/25/2006 11:18:45 AM |
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tagged: poetry
  DickSlippery

Twuz The Night B4 Motherfucking Christmas
And all through the hood
All my niggaz wuz tweeking
And up 2 no good
We wuz all just kickin it sippin on some forties
We'd had stashed away most of the day on crushed ice
Double checking this stolen photocopy
Of that list of who's been naughty and nice
Those lil bastards that got caught being naughty
Go n and just start scatching those names off the list
Cuz when a mothafucker ain't got shit 2 begin with
A motherfucker ain't got shit 2 miss
But good little kids get paid come December
From that fat dude that be flying at night
Leaving behind presents and candy
2 be discovered with joy at first light
But this year some shit's finna be different
Cuz don't U know we all starvin up in this motherfucker here
And this time by the time the sun also rises
Every fucking present in the hood will have dissapeared
We can sell some of them 2 pay rent in January
A couple more will make sure SMUD stays cut on
One after another goody after goody 2 shoes
Wuz bouts 2 get got B4 we get the fuck on
We discussed it and decided two licks wuz one 2 many
So wuz finna wait 2 get paid all at once
We just posted up all night in the laundry room
Tyrell wuz talkin bout if that fat motherfucker acts stupid
That fat motherfucker wuz bouts 2 get fucked up
Right B4 morning dontcha know those bells came a jingling
We wuz all hidden until all his reindeer touched down
Then Andre stepped out with his strap
And capped that red nosed motherfucker
B4 turning his pistol on Santa and asking, Now what?
And don't call me no ho neither motherfucker, I's Lawanda
Get Ur fat ass up and strip off that suit
Now give me that belt and hand over that dumbass hat
Are those real leather? What size is them boots?
One of my boys stripped out Santa's new system
While another snatched that sack out the back of the sleigh
We packed that fat sack down 2 where Dre's Six-Four wuz waitin
We piled up N2 that motherfucker and sped the fuck away
Then we wuz some toy trading motherfuckers 4 a minute
No...I ain't got no money. But I got a shitload of this Barbie bullshit
Or toy train sets or legos or dominos even
Anyone want GI Joe with the Kung Foo Grip?

So that's why Santa Claus skips over the ghetto
And instead he just spends all his time someplace else
And that's how come I know come Christmas morning
I ain't unwrapping shit unless I bought it 4 myself.


Keeping U posted

DS

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Comments:

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wtxman

Dec 25 @ 11:27AM  
Ds you do have a way with words.
Rockstar8869

Dec 25 @ 11:44AM  
ynot7769

Dec 25 @ 12:05PM  
well this will get a reaction for sure
wtxman

Dec 25 @ 2:17PM  
Iwas racking my mind trying to figure out who you reminded me of with your"colorfull" prose and it finally came to me. Andrew Dice Clay. IF you don't know of him you should.
StraddleMyNose

Dec 25 @ 3:09PM  
DS, how was your Christmas? Sometimes I feel like you hide behind a lot of humorous stories and you don't want people to know the real you and how you spend some of your time. But I and I'm sure others would love to know more about you through your blogs. It was a funny blog, and Ynot is right, you should get some reaction from this blog. lol How was your Christmas morning?
JJN4Fun

Dec 25 @ 3:56PM  
Um...yeah...gee, I'm just wondering if there is an English version of this??? I need a translator, damn it!!!
wtxman

Dec 25 @ 7:07PM  
Hickory Dickory Dock, My balls fell out of my jock.
I laid them to rest On some hooker's chest'
and paddled her face with my cock. by Andrew Dice Clay
bentan

Dec 26 @ 1:37AM  
lmao ... some funny shit! Hate to tell you though; you guys nabbed the decoy. The real Santa got through with iPods, smartphones and $100 gift vouchers. He was disguised as a bag-lady and Rudolph was a mangy dog.
Looking4ever

Dec 26 @ 4:32AM  
SMUD? OMG, haven't heard that in years! Hey, DS, I'm actually from your neck of the woods. Used to live near Manizanita and Madison...once upon a time not very long ago.
DickSlippery

Dec 27 @ 7:08PM  
Iwuz wondering if anyone would know what the hell SMUD wuz...lol!!! I live right down the stret from Madison and Manzanita! Small fucking world...


DS
Looking4ever

Dec 27 @ 11:48PM  
SMUD=Sacramento Municipal Utility District

Smaller than you think.
DickSlippery

Dec 28 @ 12:53AM  
OMG...are U fucking stalking me? Have U been following me? I've had the feeling I wuz being followed since...fuck, I don't know...the Eleventh grade? Anyway...this explains everything! Ur some kind of deviant bitch who wants 2 get me all alone 2 use 4 Ur own sick and twisted purposes, aren't U?

FINE THEN! HAVE Ur WAY WITH ME VIXEN! Then just leave me alone in my madness...


DS

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Twuz The Night B4 Motherfucking Christmas