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Redneck Jokes

posted 12/10/2009 1:22:47 PM |

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tagged: humor, jokes, redneck

LilGriz

Since I installed iGoogle, I picked out adding Redneck Jokes to my home page. Here are some of the funnier (at least in MY opinion) ones I have found. Course, now that I'm unemployed, I have more time to surf between sending out resumes. Hope y'all enjoy.

You might be a REDNECK if...

...you cut the grass and find a Car.

...you think Sherlock Holmes is a housing project down in Biloxi.

...your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can take a bath."

...one hole in the Ozone Layer has been traced to your car.

...ya can't get married to yer sweetheart' cause there is a law against it.

...your idea of high-quality entertainment is a six-pack and a bug-zapper.

...there are more dishes in your sink than in your cabinets.

...you have ever had to wash off in the backyard with a garden hose before your wife would let you in the house.

...you have spray painted your girlfriend's name on an overpass.

...the neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights.

...your house still has the "WIDE LOAD" sign on the back.

...you think a turtleneck is a key ingredient for soup

...you have a close relative named "Cletus".

...your father executes the "pull my finger" trick during Christmas dinner.

...you have to throw down a rope ladder to get out of your truck.

...your coffee table used to be a cable spool.

...you have a color coordinating rope that ties down your car hood.

...your front porch collapses and four dogs git killed.

...your brother-in-law is your uncle AND your grandfather.

...you can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head.

...you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.

Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)

post a comment!

max49

Dec 10 @ 1:33PM

Hey I'm fix'n ta do some improvements on that as soon as I git my check next month. Gonna cut one of those cute little moon thingys in the door so ya can at least breeve when it gets hot in the summer time. Always askeerd of passin out and not bein' found until I fall through the hole.

earthquake501

Dec 10 @ 3:46PM

You might be a redneck if the Preacher asks Bubba to take up the collection and 4 men and 3 women all jump up and grab the plates.

casuallylooking

Dec 10 @ 4:48PM

you have ever had to wash off in the backyard with a garden hose before your wife would let you in the house.
Why is it that I can easily see this one in the future? Many times....

your father executes the "pull my finger" trick during Christmas dinner.

your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can take a bath."
That would be cause for a divorce.....

Where's ummm, I think Tuesdays?

LilGriz

Dec 10 @ 5:06PM

Hey Max, jes leave the door off Then you can at them skwirly things

Why is it that I can easily see this one in the future?

Almost as much fun as an inside shower

KitKat25

Dec 10 @ 8:27PM

Some of these were new...some were old...I still enjoyed them. Thanks for sharing.

onehornytoad69

Dec 10 @ 9:04PM

I wish... yall Ppl, "wood",.... Stop keeping notes on Me!!!!!

sugarnspice005

Dec 10 @ 9:46PM

I've always liked the redneck jokes.

LilGriz

Dec 10 @ 11:09PM

Scary thing is ... a lot of them may be true

NightOfOld

Dec 11 @ 10:55AM

[QUOTE]

your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can take a bath."

No but she has asked me to get the Catfish out of the tub.

justme4u

Dec 11 @ 3:50PM

StraddleMyNose

Dec 11 @ 4:15PM

Those were funny

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