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Why women shouldn't take men shopping

posted 12/6/2009 6:20:31 PM |
1 kudogive kudos what's this?
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Ok, I got this in an email today and wanted to share. It's cute. Hopefully it will be new to some.

[QUOTE] After I retired, my wife insisted
that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately,
like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get
in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most
women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife
received the following letter from the local Target.

Dear Mrs. Samuel,

Over the past six months, your
husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We
cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban
both of you from the store. Our complaints against
your husband, Mr. Samuel, are listed below and are
documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms
and randomly put them in other people's carts when they
weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks
in Housewares to go off at
5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato
juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee
and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in
Housewares. Get on it right away'. This
caused the employee to leave her assigned station and
receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn
resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose
time and costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk
and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION -
WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the
camping department and told the children shoppers he'd
invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from
the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if
they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why
can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were

9. September 4: Looked right
into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he
picked his nose.

10. September 10: While
handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk
where the antidepressants were..

11. October 3: Darted around the
store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission
Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto
department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using
different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a
clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled

14. October 21: When an
announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal
position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES

And last, but not least:

15. October 23: Went into a
fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very
loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in
here.' One of the clerks passed out.

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post a comment!


Dec 6 @ 6:27PM  
Heh, G likes shopping, I'm the one who whines and acts stupid cuz I have to get drug out shopping.

Dec 6 @ 7:08PM  
I do that stuff routinely in Super Wal-Mart ...
It kinda put a little pizzazz in an old man's day

Dec 6 @ 7:09PM  
I don't mind shopping. But that's only at night and hardly no people around. I like to get in and out.

Dec 6 @ 7:38PM  
Hubby doesn't mind shopping but he can be very good at embarrassing the shit out of me. He also spends more then I do !

Dec 6 @ 10:07PM  

My ex was in there so long, I got tired of waiting. So I went home and filed charges of desertion.

Dec 6 @ 11:00PM  
DKW likes to go shopping with me. He helped me pick out all the new Living room furniture and found the perfect lamp for the end table. It is always fun going out shopping with him. He finds the neatest stuff.


Dec 7 @ 2:05AM  
No one likes shopping with me. My daughter says it is kind of like shopping with the energizer bunny because I power shop. That came from doing my holiday shopping during lunch hour when I was working.

Dec 7 @ 6:44AM  
I would love to go shopping with someone like that! I think it would be a hoot!!

I embarass my daughter sometimes cause I'll sing and dance to the muzac if I know the song playing... she's usually moritified!!!!

Dec 7 @ 8:23AM  
I embarass my daughter sometimes cause I'll sing and dance to the muzac

Hey pink, it's out parental responsibility to embarrass the heck out of our children

I don't really mind shopping with CL, as I know we won't be in a store too long I always go in with a list and rarely stray from it ... if I do wander, it is usually late at night when few people are around. For Christmas shopping, I head out of Mpls and head to small towns about an hour away ... different stuff, usually not as expensive, and few people as they came to the cities to shop.

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Why women shouldn't take men shopping