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A couple of giggles

posted 12/2/2009 7:23:59 PM |
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tagged: joke
  sugarnspice005

Heavens Ugliest Women
Three men were waiting at Heaven's Gate. St. Peter says, "OK, guys, pretty much anything goes up here, but whatever you do, never lie, or you will spend the rest of eternity with the ugliest women in the universe."

So they all agree and are admitted in. The first guy makes it a week before he lies about how rich he was on Earth. Bam! Right at his side appears the ugliest woman he had ever seen.

The second guy makes it another couple weeks before he lies about how smart he is. Bam! At his side appears the second ugliest woman in the universe.

So the first two guys are walking around with their monsters of women when they see their third friend walking with the hottest woman ever conceived by man. The first two guys say in unison, "How did you land with that babe when we get stuck with these nasty women?"

He nudges the babe and says, "Tell them." She says to the first two guys, "I lied."


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Santa Problems
Santa was delivering gifts as usual, when at one house a beautiful young woman was awaiting his arrival. She begged him to stay and cuddle with her on the couch. Santa declined, saying "Ho -ho, gotta go. Gotta deliver these presents, you know."

Trying again, the lovely young thing removed her clothing down to her underwear. "OH Santa, won't you please stay?" she queried . Taking a long look, Santa sighed and said "Ho- ho, gotta go. Gotta deliver these presents you know."

Not to be denied, this gorgeous female stripped off every stitch of remaining clothing, smiled and said invitingly "Oh, Santa, please reconsider? Stay with me?"

With a pained look on his face, Santa groaned and said "Ho - ho, gotta go. Gotta deliver these presents you know." And with that, he turned and left. Several minutes passed, and Santa re-appeared, plopping himself down on the couch next to the beautiful woman.

"Santa---you decided to stay??" she asked.

Santa grinned, looking at his crotch and said "Hey - hey, gotta stay. Can't get up the chimney THIS way!"

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Comments:

post a comment!

Nathanial

Dec 2 @ 7:33PM  
lmao. niiiiice ones . thank you!
Sunshine79

Dec 2 @ 8:29PM  
Loved the Santa joke!! Greenie!!!
DesertSmile

Dec 2 @ 8:34PM  
"Hey - hey, gotta stay. Can't get up the chimney THIS way!"

And it wasn't the milk and cookies that got him that way.
StraddleMyNose

Dec 2 @ 9:08PM  
justme4u

Dec 3 @ 1:30AM  
RevDocLove

Dec 3 @ 7:27AM  
dmbchick420

Dec 3 @ 9:46AM  

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A couple of giggles