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Some Loves Never Die....

posted 12/1/2009 10:24:10 AM |
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So many times I hear people talk trash about their in laws. Be it, mother... father... son... daughter, there are always snide one liner jokes and then those who actually Are a worst nightmare.
But then there are the good ones. The ones that even though there is a divorce, the word ex in front of explaining who they are just doesn't work. Or seem fitting.

I've been divorced so many years that I've lost count unless I actually stop and think about what year and calculate from there.....but I divorced him, not his family. Well...... not some of them. The others...........

I had a wonderful Mother and Father in law. Not perfect, just wonderful.
We lost my Mother in law about 10 years ago. And even though he went on with his life, you could always tell that my Father in law was never the same without her. His heart was just empty without her.
They had married when she was 15 years old, in 1953. They had the type of marriage and love to be envied.
Again, not perfect....they had their trials and tribulations... but with love, respect and dedication to each other that would out stand anything , including death.
And it did.

A little after 4am this morning my Father in Law quietly passed away. He got to go be with the love of his life for eternity.

While my heart is breaking and I'm going to miss him so very much, I also know that he has waited for this reunion, and I am happy for him. For them.

But I am also extremely concerned about my daughter. This man was her hero and the only Grandpa she ever had.
I know that she will be alright, but she is going through so very much right now and this on top of it... I'm just worried about my baby girl.
Isn't it amazing that no matter how old they get, they are always our main concern and still our babies.... whether they want to be or not.

But at the same time, she got to see a love that was never ending. One that didn't end just because it would have been easier to walk away and start over some days. She got to learn that although we tend to live in a throw away society, not all people take that road. They stick it out for what they believe in. They know that the journey together is worth stubbing your toes a few times along the way. IF they have that rare love that these two had.

Some things can't be learned by reading about them.... you have to see them first hand to fully appreciate the lesson.

As for my Father in law... right now I can't seem to stop the tears from flowing, but later I will celebrate the life of this wonderful, caring man who I was extremely blessed to know and love for well over 30 years. One who made my life (and many others) so much richer just by who he was.

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Dec 1 @ 10:33AM  
My condolences to you and your daughter on what sounds like a good man's passing. My Grandpa, Mom's father, was the same way. When Grandma died 20 years ago, Grandpa mourned, moved on, but never dated another woman. Grandpa joined Grandma 2 years ago. They are together again.

Dec 1 @ 10:39AM  
I know how you feel...

I was great friends with my ex-husband's mother. When I left, I tried to keep in touch with her, but when she moved we lost touch. I found out recently (after almost 12 years) that she and her husband had divorced, and she passed away a year later.

My current in-laws are a blessing to us. They have helped us out in so many ways, and are always there for us. Not only that, but my husband's ex-inlaws (aka, the are also a big part of our lives since their grandsons live with us. At first it was awkward, but we have made it clear to them that they are always welcome, and have gone out of our way to make them comfortable when they are here.

I've always done my best not to judge people...and tried to be a person that people can trust...(wysiwyg?). There is no hidden agenda here, no underlying theme. Some may consider it strange that I'm friends with these people...but I see no reason to have it otherwise. I only hope that it serves as an example to our kids.

Dec 1 @ 10:48AM  

Some Loves Never Die....


sorry for the loss....

Dec 1 @ 10:53AM  
I'm so sorry for your loss That sounds a lot like the relationship my grandparents had. My grandmother died young and my grandfather was never the same. When he was dying, he told us he couldn't wait to see Barb (my grandmother) again. It was gut wrenching, but at the same time, I was happy that he was finally going to be at peace.

Dec 1 @ 11:13AM  
I am so sorry for your loss sweetie. I have a similar situation as you. Although my wife and I divorced I still love her family. I don't call my step kids my step kids. To me they ARE my kids. My exwife's mother just turned 89 years old and is the sweetest woman I have ever met. Believe me I have had the inlaws from hell so I can appreciate these. I am the only Grandpa my step Grandaughter ever knew. Her real Grandpa is Peruvian and was off to Peru when she was born and I was right here and have been from day one. I have other Grandkids as well but I never get to see them but me and this one has bonded right from the beginning. As a matter of fact her real Granpa's name is Sam. She has always called me Grandpa and calls her real Grandpa Uncle Sam. It is funny but also sad because she is a very caring and loving young girl but he will never know what he has missed not being around her. I know it's tough right now sweetie but just imagine how happy he is now that he has joined his one and only true love. Yes it's true some loves never die. My heart goes out to you and your daughter but make sure his memory lives for ever.

Dec 1 @ 11:25AM  
I'm very sorry for the Loss!!!!
I also know that he has waited for this reunion, and I am happy for him. For them.


Dec 1 @ 11:36AM  
Sorry for your loss, but you had a wonderful relationship with an ex in-law that few ever do.

Dec 1 @ 12:01PM  
My condolences hun... Count your memories as blessings. Grieve together with your daughter as you recall the wonderful times and the wonderful man he was and know he is never farther away than your heart.

Dec 1 @ 12:07PM  
Some family is foisted upon us.. some we choose.. chosen family is harder to lose. I'm sorry for your loss CL!

Dec 1 @ 12:44PM  
Hmm, can't say I have many deep thoughts or feelings like that,

mostly what I see lately is hatred and back-stabbing and it

really is nauseating.

Dec 1 @ 12:44PM  
We are so very sorry about your loss. I have recently lost both of my grandfathers a year apart on new years eve. My dads father told me when I was very young that the best way to understand life is to shut up sit back and watch/listen to the old guys. How right he was! A lot of who I am is a direct reflection of the greatest man I have ever known. It seems hard now, but feel good that he lived a full life and left a footprint for all to follow. Best wishes to you and your family!

Dec 1 @ 12:47PM  
Your wrote that so beautifully. I am sorry you have lost a loved one that is so dear. I am glad you and your daughter experienced this type of love. What a wonderful gift they left for your memories.

Dec 1 @ 1:42PM  
It is hard to lose a loved one.....been there....keep his memory alive in your hearts....recall all the funny always helps me.


Dec 1 @ 3:00PM  
My grandparents were married for over 65 years and my parents well over 50. I used to see my grandparents holding hands like a couple of kids walking back from the garden sometimes. They were married very young and went through the depression, two world wars and a lot of both good and bad times in their life My geandfather was laid back and I never heard him raise his voice even once. My grandmother was a tiny woman, and a little hot tempered spitfire who was the love of his life. I always thought they balanced each other and was the reason things worked so well between them. When I was a child, home was not exactly stable due to my mother being in and out of the hospital so they became a second set of parents to me. When I wanted to leave for NYC they supported me and my grandpa said let the girl spread her wings and fly a bit. My mother freaked out about me being a hippie, my grandma just said let the girl be who she is, I think she looks good in tie-dye and let her fight for the causes she believes in.

I am sorry to hear of your loss. There are always people who are important in our lives no matter how they got there. I talked to my ex-mother-in law until the day she died and she was always one of my best friends.

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Some Loves Never Die....