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Visiting Australia

posted 11/28/2009 10:35:19 AM |

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tagged: fuck, funny, sunshine

Sunshine79

These are from potential visitors. They were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a snide sense of humor.

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/ gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets, especially The Taipans.

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RevDocLove

Nov 28 @ 10:48AM

Yep..Oz only has 20 of the world's top 25 poisonous snakes
They do have a great sense of humor..

funnywhapper

Nov 28 @ 10:53AM

everyone here is thrilled that britney spears got back from her
australia tour safe and sound. phew!! she's hiding out now. to get some
peace and some rest. what a race she is running. what will her next
project be? she pays such huge sums in taxes. and it pisses her off. she
is singlehandedly a great tax gatherer. the whole world is taxing her.
her song 'a piece of me'.

StraddleMyNose

Nov 28 @ 11:01AM

ksk72

Nov 28 @ 5:40PM

sugarnspice005

Nov 28 @ 7:50PM

KitKat25

Nov 28 @ 11:59PM

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

I don't import my plants, but I inadvertently sit around watching them die.
I know...I have a black thumb.

Very funny Sunshine.

tassie1

Dec 2 @ 3:02PM

i know a certain someone who lives around here , we used to name her garden ; death row

all those other facts about this great land of OZ are all totally true ya'no

as for Britney speachless,
next time she comes over to a so-called concert, if she is going to charge sky high prices for tickets the least she could do is sing the words instead of lip-synching.
that would have to be the biggest insult to a paying audience I could think of, they may as well just stay at home and buy a DVD.

oh, and not only do we have kangaroo's in the streets, on friday nights you can see the Bundy rum polar bear and a few pink elephants too
and a bushpig on most city corners

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