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Perversion is more mainstream than you think

posted 11/28/2009 3:22:47 AM |
1 kudogive kudos what's this?
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tagged: bdsm, rant, life

BDSM or S&M are not unknown acronyms. I've had some friends ask wtf I was talking about when discussing my relationship activities but overall, most people I encounter whether offline or online know the meaning of both.

It's not just knowing a reference but having experienced some form of submission or domination. Have you ever been tied up? Even if it was just with silk ties or fuzzy handcuffs it still counts as a form of BDSM.

Have you ever submitted to your partner's will and allowed them to please you however they wanted to? That's submission in its finest.

Have you ever spanked your partner or used a spanking implement? Even if it's not a store bought item but something laying around the house like a wooden spoon or a newspaper, you've experienced being dominant.

I love floggers, I love collars, I love everything that's made out of leather and that is both painful and pleasurable. Yet, I'm not a freak because of these things and I am not an oddity. While I can be considered kinky for my love of these items and the activities I pursue while I use them, I'm actually normal. A lot of people do what I do. While some people aren't quick to admit they use sex toys or they use BDSM products a lot of people do.

BDSM isn't some back-alley taboo activity, it isn't hush-hush, it isn't something that means you should be closeted. People who engage in BDSM aren't predisposed to be creepy, unattractive, have some history of sexual abuse, have serial killer genetics, or weren't loved as children- no, a lot of people who love BDSM are normal, put together, stand up people who maintain a wonderful conservative or liberal lifestyle where they are happy, stable, and secure.

Unfortunately, there are still that small number of people out there with negative things to say about our activities. Those people that make us seem like deviants or if we pollute society because of our sexual appetites. Those types of people ruin the lifestyles we chose and try come at us with pitchforks as if we were destroying their precious villages. They crash our websites, they ruin our fun, and their narrow-mindedness poisons the sex positive, life positive motto's we have tried to pursue.

Unfortunately, I've experienced that here. I've received emails where people chastise me for my lifestyle... I've also received emails where people expect me to do things that are degrading, demeaning, or absolutely disgusting just because I like BDSM. Enjoying BDSM does not mean I don't have morals.

So please, do not have some preconceived notion that loving BDSM means a person is less than you. We have our lifestyle and while it's different than yours, there is a HUGE number of us, we are a big community and to expect us to be horrible, awful people with no morals or to be people that stay confined and closeted from the rest of you is unfair and unjust.

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Nov 28 @ 5:04AM  
Have you ever been tied up?

Yes...once...I didn't like it at all.

Have you ever submitted to your partner's will and allowed them to please you however they wanted to?

Yes...many times...but I had to completely trust the guy.

Have you ever spanked your partner or used a spanking implement?

I was spanked once during didn't happen again. I've also been asked to spank someone, but I didn't feel comfortable doing it.

Enjoying BDSM does not mean I don't have morals.

I agree with you 100%. I personally don't feel comfortable with your type of lifestyle, but it's a personal choice and one I would never judge a person for just because I don't care for it. To each his/her own is what I always say...and firmly believe.

Nov 28 @ 10:20AM  
Very well said. !!

Nov 28 @ 10:27AM  
I still run into many misguided notions about this stuff. I don't really post much here, but I think it is no secret to the locals that I am very kinky.

Bondage, blindfolds, wax play, floggers, glass dildos, bring them on!

Nov 28 @ 10:34AM  

Nov 28 @ 1:27PM  
I've never been tied up but wondered what it would be like...but I'd really have to know and trust my partner on that one.

Spanked? Once...didn't like it. To a victim of abuse, hitting it hitting no matter where one is brings flashbacks.

I like being long as it's in the bedroom and just for fun. Outside the bedroom will stir da wrath of Softie....

I am not familiar with this lifestyle but I haven't a problem with it for those who like it. WTF? Not my business, yanno? A person's sexual lifestyle hasn't a thing to do with who they are as a person.

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Perversion is more mainstream than you think