It comes with the territory of this being a free site. Well, actually, a lot of free sites have this problem. They see either you're new, or, they see a picture, and that's it..they send off an email hoping to get lucky.
I know it is unusual for a female to go out and ask for another female
No, not unusual at all.
Welcome to AMD. Hope you have fun and find what you're looking for.
And, if you want to set your comments for automatic approval..just hit account settings, and then you will see in the last column on the right where you can set comment settings to auto approval. Makes it easier than going through them to approve..and, some of us get "ornery"  about "will wait for approval".
But, let me extend a warm welcome to what we call Pervia. 
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