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A few jokes to make you laugh....

posted 11/12/2009 2:46:03 PM |
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tagged: jokes
  dmbchick420

I hope....if not, I tried

There’s a mom with three kids-

The first kid comes up to her and says “Mommy, why did you call me Rose?”
And the mother said, “When you were a baby, I dropped a rose on your head.”

And then the second kid comes up to her and says “Mommy, why did you call me Daisy?”
And the mother said, “When you were a baby, I dropped a daisy on your head.”

And then the third kid comes up to her and says “Rarrfgdxdb… garblefarbleblock”
And the mother said, “Not now, Brick.”

A teacher asks her class one day, “If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and
you shoot one of them, how many birds will there be left?”

Then, when little Ralphy raises his hand, she calls on him.
He answers,

“None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.”

The teacher replies, “The actual answer is 4, but I like your thinking.”

Then little Ralphy says, “Now I have a question for you.

There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream,one is licking the sides of the of ice cream cone that have started to drip.

The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.

And the third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?”

The teacher, blushing madly, replied, “Well, I suppose it’d be the one that’s gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.”

To which Little Ralphy replied,

“The correct answer is ‘the one with the wedding ring on,’ but I like your thinking.”

Two men are sitting at a bar when one man whips out a cigar. Seeing that he has no means of lighting the cigar he says to his friend “Hey do you have a lighter I could borrow to light my cigar?”
The friend replies “Yes” and whips out this huge 10 inch bic lighter.
The first guy says “Wow, where did you get that massive lighter from?”
His friend says “I got it from my genie.”
“You have a genie?” asked the first man.
“Yeah, I carry him everywhere I go” the friend replies.
“Well can I see him?” asks the first man.
Sure enough he takes the genie out of his pocket and sits him on the bar.
The first man with the cigar leans over to the genie and says “Hey there little buddy, I am a good friend of your master, do you think you could grant me one wish?”
“Sure” replies the genie “What do you wish for?”
The man surprised says “I wish for a million bucks.”
The genie dissapears back into his masters pocket and nothing happens.
All of a suddenn two ducks walk into the bar followed by a few more.
Soon enough the bar is filling up with ducks very quickly.
The first man looks to the second man and says “What’s going on here friend? I wished for a million bucks not a million ducks?”
The friend replies “Oh I forgot to tell you that my genie is really hard of hearing. Do you really think that I wished for a 10 inch bic?”

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Comments:

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Sunshine79

Nov 12 @ 2:52PM  
Love the 10 inch Bic joke, lol
justme4u

Nov 12 @ 2:59PM  
Love the ice cream one all are good
soft_touch938

Nov 12 @ 3:04PM  
Loved the genie joke....resembles my kinda luck....
Nathanial

Nov 12 @ 3:32PM  
I don't quite get the first one...but nice ones. thank you.
dmbchick420

Nov 12 @ 3:36PM  
Yeah, the first one is kinda strange, but I thought the punch line was funny and it made me giggle. I have a weird sense of humor sometimes
max49

Nov 12 @ 3:44PM  
That's some funny shit right there.
ynot7769

Nov 12 @ 5:13PM  
BRICK??? omg.....poor kid
KitKat25

Nov 12 @ 5:26PM  
Thanks for making me laugh. I loved them all...especially #2 and #3.

Speaking of kids, I thought you might like this story. I teach preschool a couple of times a week. Last week, I was guiding some of the kids through a craft project involving paint. I turned my back for a moment to retrieve something, and one of the boys managed to spill quite a bit of paint all over the table. My first response was "Oh my goodness John" I then added, "I wonder how you managed to spill all of that paint so quickly?" His response was to shrug his shoulders and state "I don't know Miss Kathy...I didn't see myself spill it." OMG...don't you just love kids?!

I thought this story kind of went well with joke# 2.
girlcountry

Nov 12 @ 5:45PM  
Good ones....the boys name is Brick because he's as dumb as a brick. At least, that's what I think...could be wrong though!
ynot7769

Nov 12 @ 5:50PM  
..the boys name is Brick because he's as dumb as a brick. At least, that's what I think...could be wrong though!

or she dropped a brick on his head?
theSkwirl

Nov 12 @ 8:35PM  
I.. being the sadistic sort that I am..f ound the first one incredibly funny.
sugarnspice005

Nov 12 @ 9:05PM  
Love the ice cream and bic.
StraddleMyNose

Nov 12 @ 9:37PM  
RevDocLove

Nov 12 @ 10:00PM  
NightOfOld

Nov 13 @ 5:02AM  



Thank you

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A few jokes to make you laugh....