Professionals call the top socket on an electrical outlet the “Martha,” and the bottom socket the “Jasmine.”
Well fuck, I never knew my outlets were into girl on girl action!!!
Every sixteen minutes, someone named Richard dies
Glad my name isn't Richard!
Wave a magnet at the lower left corner of a vending machine to receive a free soda.
Whispering instead of talking on cell phones saves significant battery power
Get out of town man!!!!!!!
Reading backwards for twenty minutes burns the same amount of calories as walking a half-mile.
Sounds like a workout regime to me!!
Revolving doors were first invented as a way to keep horses out of department stores
Why? Their money is as good as mine...isn't it?!?!?
If you soak a baseball hat in coke, and then let it dry on someone’s head, over a 3-hour period the hat will shrink with skull-denting force, causing intense pain and irreparable damage.
*note to self* Buy stepdad a new baseball hat and some co cola!!
Sorry Sunshine! I had fun with this one! Thanks for sharing! I needed the laugh!!
greenie for ya!
let's see how my quotes turn out... I always fuck them right up!