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Here's how to fix the economy

posted 10/14/2009 5:57:54 PM |
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Sometime this year, we taxpayers may again receive an Economic Stimulus payment. This is a very exciting new program. I will explain it using the Q and A format:

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending
your stimulus check wisely:
* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China .
* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.
* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India .
* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico ,
Honduras and Guatemala .
* If you buy a car, it will go to Japan .
* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .
* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in America by:

1 spending it at yard sales, or
2 going to ball games, or
3 spending it on prostitutes, or
4 beer or
5 tattoos.

(These are the only American businesses still operating in the US .)


I'm going to go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that I meet at a yard sale and we're going to drink beer all day!

Thank you very much!

Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)

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post a comment!


Oct 14 @ 6:49PM  
As Metallica says: ITS SAD BUT TRUUUUUEEUUEEEE!!!!!!!!

Oct 14 @ 7:15PM  
How's this 'global economy' working for everyone???


Oct 14 @ 7:28PM  
Our economy and people are competing with the Chinese, Pakistanis, Indians, Mexicans and other third world nations with much lower wages, and let's not forget the millions of illegal aliens who are willing to work for lower wages and those who come her and expect the government to support them. We can't blame them for coming here for the free ride.

Oct 14 @ 7:32PM  
I have to use my daughter's computer now that mine has I don't give a shit where the money goes..........but I hope they send me some soon so I can get my own computer.......................

Oct 14 @ 8:30PM  
*salutes* I am willing to spend my stimulus to help the US!

Oct 14 @ 10:02PM  
I was all excited when I heard I was getting a stimulus package. Then I found out it was a box with a bottle of Vodka, and a bottle of Viagra.

So much for economic stimulus, but i'm drunk and my package is stimulated!

Anybody wanna fuck!!??!!!

Oct 15 @ 10:36AM  

Oct 15 @ 10:45AM  
If you purchase a computer, it will go to India .

India does not manufacture computers. But the third largest selling PC, Lenovo is Chinese owned. IBM sold their PC business to them.

Oct 15 @ 10:59AM  
It think just about most things comes from foreign countries. My computer is a Dell, but where it was made...I couldn't tell you.

Oct 15 @ 11:01AM  
Yep....that pretty much sums it up!!!

Oct 15 @ 1:44PM  
in a nutshell....

Oct 15 @ 2:26PM  
It think just about most things comes from foreign countries. My computer is a Dell, but where it was made...I couldn't tell you.

The motherboard and most parts were made in a Chinese plant called Foxconn Industries. The plastic casing was made in Taiwan, and it was assembled somewhere in Malasia (usually Phillipenes). The box was made in Japan using lumber sent from the US, but it was printed on in China (the lead based inks are cheaper there). Tech support is based in India, where they read from a book because tech support has never required formal computer training, even when it was based in the US.

I know this, because I work in the industry. And this concludes our tech industry trivia for the day.

Tomorrow we discuss where iPhones come from, and why Apple Corporation is helping us go deeper in debt.

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Here's how to fix the economy