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Why I had to change Hotels

posted 10/10/2009 10:16:12 PM |
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tagged: funny, humor, joke

Last week, I checked into the Four Seasons in Palm Beach and was a bit lonely. I thought, "I'll call one of those men you see advertised in phone books for escorts and sensual massages."

I looked through the phone book, found a full page ad for a guy calling himself Tender Tony - a very handsome man with assorted physical skills flexing in the photo... He had all the right muscles in all the right places, thick wavy hair, long powerful legs, dazzling smile, six pack abs and I felt quite certain I could bounce a quarter off his well oiled butt.... you get the picture. I figured, what the heck, I'll give him a call.

"Hello, ma'am, how may I help you?" . . . Oh my, he sounded sooo sexy! Afraid I would lose my nerve if I hesitated I rushed right in, "Hi, I hear you give a great massage, I'd like you to come to my room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I real ly want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now... Bring implements, toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night -tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything and everything baby. Now how does that sound?"

He says, "Oh my God... that sounds absolutely fantastic, but you need to press 9 for an outside line."

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post a comment!


Oct 10 @ 10:25PM  
Well good grief...that's what you have DKW for!

That was a good one!

Oct 10 @ 10:47PM  
Oh shit! That would be my luck!!

Good one Blue!!!

Oct 10 @ 11:09PM  
That was freakin' hilarious!

Oct 10 @ 11:17PM  

Oct 10 @ 11:51PM  
Oh for the life of a night desk clerk...Or bartender

Oct 11 @ 1:13AM  
Love it!

Oct 11 @ 2:50AM  
I would do that...oh doubt in my mind...

Oct 11 @ 5:00AM  
You do realize that was fucking hysterical!

Oct 11 @ 5:21AM  
oh I loved that

Oct 11 @ 6:24AM  
I wonder how often that happens to him.

did he offer you a discount

Oct 11 @ 8:22AM  

Are you telling us DKW does not satisfy you.? He'll hear.

Good one sweety

Oct 11 @ 8:55AM  
too funny,,,thanks for the laugh

Oct 11 @ 1:13PM  
Who do you think was running the night desk...?
*Wicked Smile*


Oct 11 @ 5:24PM  
Bring implements, toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks.

You don't bring your own toys when you travel. Well, that'll teach you to be more prepared next time.

Oct 12 @ 12:04PM  
Now that was funny.................... because chances are thats what I would end up doing...................

Nov 18 @ 7:25PM  
that was awesome! thanks for the laugh.

Nov 18 @ 7:34PM  
Now that's funny!

*wonders about the rest of the story*

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Why I had to change Hotels