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UPDATE ON WHAT IS GOING ON

posted 10/8/2009 11:12:38 AM |
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  alybai42

This last week has taken it toll on me. If you read my last blog you will know most of it. I did a update on what was going on last night on it. Now I am going to do a new blog.

I went to the hospital last night after all. I called when I was almost there to see if anyone was with him and no one was. As I was walking in I ran into Randy's ex(2nd ex). She asked me if the hospital had called me? I said no why? She said they called her and the rest of the family he was not going to make it through the night. He died once and they brought him back. He was on life support until the family could get there. I walked into his room and saw him hooked up to every machine I think they had and broke down. The man I loved was going to die. We watched the nurse change bags of this and that. We asked her what was going on with him. He kidney's had failed him, his liver was gone, the infection was too strong for his weak body to fight. They had him on strong anti-biotics but it was not working. She asked us not to wake him up because he tries to pull his tubes out. His hands are tied to the bed. Also his heart had stopped. It was not strong enough to keep him going. I asked his ex if I could spend some time alone with him before his kids got there. She left and I talked to him. I told him what I wanted to say and also told him thanks for loving me. I prayed by him asking god to not let him suffer and to please take good care of him for me. I held his hand. The last thing I said to him was I loved him and I was sorry he had to go through all of this.
His ex came back and asked me if I had enough time I said yes. She had also told me when I got there that I had every right to be there. She said that he loved me. I left shortly after that. I cried all the way home.
Around midnight I got a phone call thinking it was someone calling me to tell me he was gone. But it was his first ex wife. She asked me if I was at the hospital. I said yes I was. Then she went on to say that I was the one who killed or was killing him. She said I kicked him out and left him homeless when he was sick. I said for one thing he was not sick except for the drugs he was on and for another thing I made sure he had a place to go. His friends came and got him. Then she said that her kids are upset and it is because of me. I said I didn't do anything wrong. She said I called the cops a few weeks ago and had him put in jail and he was sick then. I said he was not in jail a few weeks ago. Then she said that I told her daughter that no one was allowed to go to where he was staying. I said they were not allowed. I said that was his friend's camper and his friend did not want strange people there on his private land because he has a lot of valuable stuff. She said she was going to call social services on me, she was going to call dectective Trigg's on me( she don't know me and him are friends)..Trigg's knows Randy past and his drug addiction. She was going to call the cops on me. I said you do that because I have nothing to hide. And I told her the cops had already been here because I called them last Wed around 4:30 to report my pain meds stolen and I told the cop that Randy did it. The cop believed my story because he knows of Randy's past. I get the pain meds prescribed to me by a doctor.
After I got off the phone with her I called his friend's who has the camper and told them about her calling me. They told me if they needed a witness to let them know. I guess Randy told them he did steal my pain meds. But this whole thing has me upset. While Randy was staying at the camper he called someone to bring him two pain pills. His friend was there when this person came there. Randy told his friend that it was his ex wife. I asked his 2nd ex about it and she said he had not seen Randy for a long time. I am wondering if it was his first ex. And putting the blame on me? That really don't matter. The main message is he was a heavy drug user for years and it took it toll on his body even the doctor's said that.
I was so upset all last night and this morning I called work and talked to my GM. I told him what was going on. He told not worry about coming in and to take what time I needed.
I still don't know if he is still alive? No one has called me. I know his family won't call me. While we were at the hospital Bev asked me if I had called his dad I said no I didn't. I thought the hospital would of. I gave her his number and she called there. They had no clue what was going on and he may not make it through the night. I saw a note on this board that said to contact these certain people if something happened. It was his ex wife, and kids only. Not Randy's side of the family, his dad, brother's and sister's. I think that his kids left them out of it also.

The only thing I did wrong was love him, try and help him, support him. What did his kids do for him? Not a damn thing. They never came around, they hardly ever called except for his daughter from Columbus. Now they want to look like the good people. I am telling you that is one messed up family.

At least I got to say goodbye before it was too late. They can't take that from me. I am sure they won't let me near his funeral either if they have one for him.

Thanks again for your support during these hard times for me.
I love you guys...

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Comments:

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featherone

Oct 8 @ 11:20AM  
im so glad you got to talk your peace with him! maybe his family feels guilty for not being there for him that they are taking it out on you! but its not your fault !
alybai42

Oct 8 @ 11:22AM  
More more thing. We watched the nurse drain some brown stuff out of a tube that was connected to him and she was shaking her head back and forth. We asked what it was and she said it was his feeding tube and his body was rejecting food.

I honestly loved this man even with all the shit he put me through and it breaks my heart that his family is treating me this way. His daughter from Columbus told me that she was glad her dad had me. She knew I didn't do drugs, drink. She knew I took care of him and supported him. She knew what I went through with him and also how upset I was with everything that was going on.
Sunshine79

Oct 8 @ 11:42AM  
I hope he passes peacefully. I'm so sorry your aching right now. *Big Hugs*
alybai42

Oct 8 @ 11:42AM  
I just called the hospital and he is still hanging on..When I was there last night I was watching his heart monitor. It started going higher. When I was alone with him and was talking to him his heart rate started coming down. I don't know if that means anything or not?
sugarnspice005

Oct 8 @ 11:43AM  
The first ex wife sounds like a whacko bitch. She had no business calling you and saying all of those things.

It's good you got to tell him you loved him, and he most likely heard you. I'm sorry you're going through this.
theSkwirl

Oct 8 @ 12:29PM  
Ohh Sweetheart.. this has to be the hardest thing for you. I'm so sorry that you are going through it. You have my love and my prayers honey.. and a few for him as well..

Yeah.. the ex crossed several lines with that phone call.. try to understand though, she's hurting as well for her children and women get a bit crazy when their kids are hurting. Doesn't excuse it but may help explain it.

Big hugs.. and loves..
dmbchick420

Oct 8 @ 1:11PM  
I'm sorry you are going through all this and that the family is treating you this way. I can't even begin to imagine what you must be going through.
NightOfOld

Oct 8 @ 2:21PM  

Aly I am so sorry for you honey. I only wish I could do or say something to help.
But all I can do is offer you love and support.
Ewe_Wish

Oct 8 @ 2:33PM  
Aly..........I dont know if this will help but when I lost gary two of his sons pointed fingers at me, blaming me for their dad being sick, for him dying...........well just about anything they could blame me for............and what I realized is that they were feeling guilty because they hadn't been there for him, had quit speaking to him.........they couldn't accept the guilt was theres so they had to blame someone else...........

Something else I found out...........If we do all that we can do...........and we know that in our hearts we did our best...........we have nothing to feel guilty about.............

Take time and grieve for the man you lost..........don't let them bother you one bit.........in the end honey..........you know he loved you.........and you know you loved him...........take time to grieve for lost so that later you can celebrate with the memories of the good times you had...........

love ya sweetie...........i am so sorry you have to go thru all of this.
zena343

Oct 8 @ 5:08PM  
My thoughts and prayers are with you Aly, and I pray he will go peacefully! Chin up sweetie, the important people know exactly what you were to him......and screw the 1st ex-wife!! I'm so glad that you got to tell him that you loved him, just believe that he heard you, take confidence in that! Take care of you now
alybai42

Oct 8 @ 9:46PM  
Update:

I just called the hospital and he is still hanging on. It has been 24 hours since they said he wouldn't make it through the night. I keep thinking maybe when I had that talk with him he heard me..I told him to hang on and not to leave me. I still loved him and needed him.
No one has called me all day long to update me. I call and do it myself. I don't call the ICU unit, I call the main desk and ask if he is there. I don't know any details except that he is still there.

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UPDATE ON WHAT IS GOING ON