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Not How We Had Today Planned...

posted 10/3/2009 6:09:45 AM |
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I've gotten quite a few emails, and a few comments in blogs, about when I am moving.
And to be honest, I've just pretty much skirted passed the issue. As much as I hate that.

You know how sometimes something doesn't set in until it is spoken...or seem real until you share it? Maybe that's why I did it.........maybe I was hoping that some how if I didn't speak...or write it... it wouldn't be real. Or it wouldn't bother me so much...

But, Sometimes the best laid plans just don't work out the way they are supposed to... or the way you feel in your heart that they are meant to.
And this weekend sure drives that fact home for Griz and I...

Today, I was supposed to be moving to Minnesota.
Griz was supposed to be here yesterday, the moving truck all loaded and ready for the long drive home for both of us.
Home together....

But those plans didn't quite work out, by no fault of our own.
Due to some medical problems on my behalf, and not being able to pick up a few jobs that I should have worked, it's taken a major financial toll.
And Griz took a considerable paycut as well as losing hours soon after, and that was another financial toll.
And now he's losing hours again...
I am thankful that he still has a job and he will hopefull get to go back to reg hours after the beginning of the year... although he'll never get his paycut back...

Moving from Ohio to Mn is not an inexpensive thing to do....
So, there will be no move this weekend for me.
I keep reminding myself that there is a reason for everything and there are quite a few things going on here that I need to be here for...But at the same time, I feel like a piece of my heart is breaking and I guess I'm kind of feeling sorry for myself. So hopefully I'll have my little pity party for a little while and then be okay...
Hey, we all have one every now and then.

Yes, I know that it could be a whole lot worse...
And yes, I know how extremly lucky and blessed that I am...
But that doesn't stop this from hurting right now.

With Ohio winters and Mn winters, and how unpredictable they are, Griz doesn't want me trying to move during the winter..... so we are now focusing on spring.
I guess it's not really that long considering what we're looking forward to...but at the same time, it's going to seem like a really looong, empty winter, and it seems like I've already waited a big part of my life to be with him.

The silver lining is... yes there usually is one, we just sometimes have to look for it....this probably is for the best right now.... my daughter is going through quite a bit and I am here for her. Which is where I need to be right now. I can't swear that I wouldn't have postponed the move on my own at the last minute with this going on. And this wonderful man completely understands that.
There are days I think I couldn't possibly love him anymore and then he does or says something that makes me fall even deeper....

Also, barring any unforseen circumstances.... we get to be together next month for a while. Including my b-day and Thanksgiving. gobble gooble....

To those who have asked and I haven't answered the question, I apologize. I wasn't meaning to ignore you, I just wasn't ready to explain it.

Right now... I'm going to go crawl into my warm bed and hopefully dream of him.....

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Oct 3 @ 6:51AM  
You seem to have it all sorted out and a good understanding of yourself and the situation(s). Many people in these times have challenges (plural) and they combine in complexity to be mind numbing. Add to that how things drag on and become protracted. Unfortunately, the nature of winter in Minnesota does reduce the flexibility on making a move.

It is a lot easier to not do something than it is to have to try to undo it later. It is important to keep your eye on spring with the times together before then. As you point out, this is a time to be with your daughter to help her with her challenges and spend quality time together during difficult times. This will pay dividends for you both on into the future.

Sometimes it is like a fairy tale in that you know there will be a happy ending but the story seems to be a too long and you just want to get it finished.

Oct 3 @ 7:11AM  
Hi there Lady!!!!
You have the right tude ...Just look forward to the "Prize" sweety!!!!
Life can take us through some roads that we thought we would never travel...But it Happens....don't it?!!! Please look Up...don't let the "Delay" bother you!!! (I know its Not easy!!)
Good luck to Yall..and May God Bless!!!

Oct 3 @ 8:32AM  
As you said, everything happens for a reason, best to be where you are right now!

Oct 3 @ 9:09AM  
Home together.

Been looking forward to this, but alas .....

my daughter is going through quite a bit and I am here for her.

Which is probably why we weren't meant to be together this winter ... it will all work itself out.

At least this gives me the ability to know where stuff is in the kitchen, my clothes won't feel alienated in the washer ... kept from all their friends

Yes, I miss not having her here, but I know the day will come when I do make that flight out to OH to pack (you don't know how much she has crammed into that house of hers) and make the drive back here to MN. I keep telling her she has had worse weather there over the past year than we have ... and a garage for vehicles too

It will happen, I will be flying out to drive her stuff to our home here ... just not now as WE had planned


Oct 3 @ 9:21AM  
(you don't know how much she has crammed into that house of hers)

I know how much I have accumulated. Out of curiosity, how many square feet are the two homes and is there enough room for all of her stuff in Minnesota? Perhaps a couple of garage sales are in order to avoid having to move things that there isn't room for.

Oct 3 @ 9:29AM  
That's a bummer CL. But, as you said, your daughter needs you now, so maybe it's for the best now. And, you can look at it this way, Spring is a time of new moving in with Griz in the Spring will be a new life starting. Although I agree with you on being alone during the winter. Also, you got your friends here in Pervia, and at home, that support you.

Oct 3 @ 10:45AM  
is there enough room for all of her stuff

Naaahh, not even close, but I do have a decent size garage some men would drool over. I joke I bought a garage and the house came with it - close to the same main sq footage. Insulated, heated, air conditioned, 3 stalls, (28x32) cable/dish coax run, stereo speakers in the ceiling, and a storage room above with a drop down ladder. All it needs is water and a drain.....

A lot of my stuff will be going, as CL's is in better condition. The ex got full contents and as the country song goes ... I got the Jeep and she got the palace.

Oct 3 @ 10:55AM  
That is one impressive garage!!!!

Oct 3 @ 11:00AM  
I think the worst thing to hear is that it will happen when it's meant to happen, especially when it's the day you thought you'd be moving. And as much as it hurts you have next month to look forward to and come the spring hopefully your daughter will be on better terms and you'll be on your way.

As hard as it is, and yes your allowed to hurt some, keep your chin up! You have a wonderful man who loves you immensly and the rest is all timing.

Oct 3 @ 11:30AM  
The ex got full contents and as the country song goes ... I got the Jeep and she got the palace.
The ex is.... well I'll just be nice and say, an idiot!!
BUT as I have said, someday I'm going to send her a thank you card. Because I met you and we found us, due to her stupidity.

Oct 3 @ 11:31AM  
Everything happens for a reason, you just have to remember that!! Good luck with everything, and keep your chin up! If it is meant to be, it will happen when its supposed to!! Big hugs, as I know how hard it is to not be with someone you love so dearly!

Oct 3 @ 11:39AM  
is there enough room for all of her stuff in Minnesota?

I've been here for over 20 years, and I have more room to begin with.
One of the garage stalls is separated by a wall and we are going to use the single one for storage. at least until we get everything figured out.

when it's meant to happen, especially when it's the day you thought you'd be moving.
I think that's a lot of it... I kept looking at the calendar with today all circled in red and now it's finally here. Hopefully tomorrpw I'll be better...

And for the record, even though I miss him like crazy and am disappointed about today, I do not resent being here for my daughter. I love her more than life. And this is were I'm supposed to be right now. I think God knew what was going to happen and worked things out for the best..


Oct 3 @ 12:05PM  
Send me your address and I'll send ya $5 if everyone does it.. you can move whenever you wanna.

Oct 3 @ 1:42PM  
I am with Skwrl. I had the same idea a long time ago, but I can't remember if I said it out loud. I will send $5 or more to help too! Really though, it is your daughter we should be concerned with at this point. You and Griz are together even if you are apart by distance. It sounds like your daughter needs you there now. I hope that works out and you will soon be in the loving arms of your man. Best Wishes as always, Hugs...Murph

Oct 3 @ 2:28PM  
I have found through the years things always happen when they are supposed to. In fact I did a painting a few years back with those words right in the middle of it. guess you can get a box or two every week and start packing things you don't use every day and when spring comes everything will already be organized and ready to go. It will help pass time and remind you that you have a new life to look forward to sharing with the man you love.

Oct 3 @ 7:11PM  
sayin it outloud just ain't fair is it honey? Well like you said just think in about 6 months monies will be saved up daughter taken care of. One more christmas with the grandbaby with oodles of pictures. Make them the most special so next year you can pull them out and say remember????

Oct 4 @ 12:43AM  
I know your feeling very well. I was packing getting ready to head back to MN over a year ago. My brother in law was coming down to get us and my stuff. They had a ice storm and he fell broke his leg in two places and had surgery.

Now I am still here. My daughter likes it here. She has friend's, good school, I have a job that I am not thrilled with but it is a job. Maybe one day I will find my way home to MN. I don't have a place to stay there anymore. My mom sold her house to move into a senior highrise.

Things will work out. I am praying for you.

I will also join the $5.00 moving club fund. Anything to help you two be together.

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