AddThis Social Bookmark Button
Free Dating

One-liner jokes

posted 9/30/2009 10:57:38 AM |
1 kudogive kudos what's this?
    report abuse
tagged: funny, jokes
  dmbchick420

I found these while looking for my joke to submit for the contest. I thought they were funny and wanted to share (I thought about submitting one of these, but I'd rather go with a joke that isn't a one-liner). Hope at least some of these are new to you guys!!!

Q. What’s the bad news about being a test tube baby?
A. You know for sure that your dad is a wanker.

Q. What’s the difference between your paycheck and your cock?
A. You don’t have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck.

Q. What do you call kids born in whorehouses?
A. Brothel sprouts.

Q. What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from your grandmother have in common?
A. You don’t look down.

Q. What do you call a guy who never farts in public?
A. A private tutor.

Q. Why is being in the military like a blow job?
A. The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.

Q. Who’s the world’s greatest athlete?
A. The guy who finishes first and third in a masturbation contest.

Q. What does a skeleton get when he goes to a bar?
A. A beer and a mop.

Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant
A. Marry it.

Q. What do you call a guy who cries while he masturbates?
A. A tearjerker.

Q. What’s the definition of trust?
A. Two cannibals giving each other a blowjob.

Q. What’s the difference between pink and purple?
A. The grip!

Q. What does bungee jumping and hookers have in common?
A. They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you’re screwed.

Q. What’s the difference between your wife and your job?
A. After five years your job will still suck.

Q. What’s the difference between a woman and a fridge?
A. A fridge doesn’t fart when you pull your meat out.

Q. What doesn’t belong in this list : Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?
A. Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can’t beat a blowjob.

Q. How are fat girls and mopeds alike?
A. They are fun to ride but you don’t want your friends to find out.

Q. What’s a necrophiliac’s biggest complaint about sex?
A. They just kinda lay there.

Q. How can you tell you’re in a tough lesbian bar?
A. Even the pool table has no balls.

Q. What’s better than a rose on your piano?
A. Tulips on your organ.

Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)

   read more blogs!

Blogs by dmbchick420:
I slept with your mother
Trolls, assholes, and losers
Pathetic
A few jokes to make you laugh....
DMB on SNL
DVDA
The 12 Lays of Christmas
Octomom jokes
Black Halloween Costumes
Pot Policy
Dancing penis!!!
Be creative with your sex toys....
One-liner jokes
Ways To Annoy People: Part 2
Pig!
My computer monitor took a poo....
Fertility clinic accidentally implants wrong embryo
Name
Blow me down!
Speaking of tender feelers...
Bob was in trouble...
Free Orgasm
Who wants to be "watched" while having sex?
$100 tattoo
Today....I get to toot my own horn :-)


Comments:

post a comment!

sugarnspice005

Sep 30 @ 11:23AM  
Good ones.
McBunman

Sep 30 @ 11:26AM  
Q. What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from your grandmother have in common?
A. You don’t look down.

That is just twisted! Funny...but sick.
Wordsofwit

Sep 30 @ 11:29AM  
Some of those pretty good and I haven't heard some of them. I particularly like this one:
Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant
A. Marry it.
NightOfOld

Sep 30 @ 1:23PM  



RevDocLove

Sep 30 @ 2:02PM  
All funny, and I'd only heard about three of them..
surv6969

Sep 30 @ 4:44PM  

Q. What’s better than a rose on your piano?
A. Tulips on your organ.
tassie1

Sep 30 @ 4:52PM  
oh crap that explains my old man

free dating | mission statement | testimonials | safety warning | report abuse | safe list | privacy | legal | 2257 | advertise | link to us

© Copyright 2000-2014 Online Singles, LLC.
OS-WEB01
One-liner jokes