I found these while looking for my joke to submit for the contest. I thought they were funny and wanted to share (I thought about submitting one of these, but I'd rather go with a joke that isn't a one-liner). Hope at least some of these are new to you guys!!!
Q. What’s the bad news about being a test tube baby?
A. You know for sure that your dad is a wanker.
Q. What’s the difference between your paycheck and your cock?
A. You don’t have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck.
Q. What do you call kids born in whorehouses?
A. Brothel sprouts.
Q. What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from your grandmother have in common?
A. You don’t look down.
Q. What do you call a guy who never farts in public?
A. A private tutor.
Q. Why is being in the military like a blow job?
A. The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
Q. Who’s the world’s greatest athlete?
A. The guy who finishes first and third in a masturbation contest.
Q. What does a skeleton get when he goes to a bar?
A. A beer and a mop.
Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant
A. Marry it.
Q. What do you call a guy who cries while he masturbates?
A. A tearjerker.
Q. What’s the definition of trust?
A. Two cannibals giving each other a blowjob.
Q. What’s the difference between pink and purple?
A. The grip!
Q. What does bungee jumping and hookers have in common?
A. They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you’re screwed.
Q. What’s the difference between your wife and your job?
A. After five years your job will still suck.
Q. What’s the difference between a woman and a fridge?
A. A fridge doesn’t fart when you pull your meat out.
Q. What doesn’t belong in this list : Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?
A. Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can’t beat a blowjob.
Q. How are fat girls and mopeds alike?
A. They are fun to ride but you don’t want your friends to find out.
Q. What’s a necrophiliac’s biggest complaint about sex?
A. They just kinda lay there.
Q. How can you tell you’re in a tough lesbian bar?
A. Even the pool table has no balls.
Q. What’s better than a rose on your piano?
A. Tulips on your organ.
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