Pat and Mick landed themselves a job at a sawmill. Just before morning tea Pat yelled: "Mick! I lost me finger!"
"Have you now?" says Mick. "And how did you do it?"
"I just touched this big spinning thing here like thi...
Darn! There goes another one!"
A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He
lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and
the second half of his round trip ticket -- If he could just get to
the airport he could get himself home.
So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab
waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabby. He
promised to send the driver money from home, he offered him his credit
card numbers, his drivers license number, his address, etc. but to no
avail. The cabby said (adopt appropriate dialect), "If you don't have
fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab!"
So the businessman was forced to hitchhike to the airport and was
barely in time to catch his flight.
One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain
his financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won
big. Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of
the casino to get a cab ride back to the airport. Well who should he
see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy
who had refused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck.
The businessman thought for a moment about how he could make the guy
pay for his lack of charity, and he hit on a plan. The businessman got
in the first cab in the line, "How much for a ride to the airport," he
asked? "Fifteen bucks," came the reply. "And how much for you to give
me a blow job on the way?" "What?! Get the hell out of my cab." The
businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked
the same questions, with the same result. When he got to his old
friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked "How much for a
ride to the airport?" The cabby replied "fifteen bucks." The
businessman said "O.K.." and off they went. Then, as they drove slowly
past the long line of cabs the businessman gave a big smile and THUMBS
UP sign to each driver.
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