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Joke Contest....

posted 9/29/2009 1:49:35 PM |
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It's been suggested that we all try to freshen up the jokes around here and step off the email repeats or oldie moldies for a change of pace.

Here's the challenge: Surf the net and try to find some kind of "fresh" or something you have never heard before and likely nobody else. OR....submit one of your own making.

Ratings will be as follows:

Rate submissions one to 5 of them. After say, 5 votes are tallied, someone else can submit the next one. As I work out of the house, I elect WoW to watch over the running.... ( and they better be good, we all know he has heard em ALL... )

So I will start...with one I made up myself years ago....likely too corny, but WTF, this is for fun.

Why does Santa only come once a year?

His Ol Lady won't let him have any at home.....

Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)

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post a comment!


Sep 29 @ 1:56PM  
I've checked most of the joke sites for the latest jokes..
There just aren't that many new ones out there..I check almost everyday!

Sep 29 @ 2:43PM  
A Nordakota cow

Ole is a farmer in Minnesota. He is in need of a new milk cow and hears about a nice one for sale over in Nordakota (that would be North Dakota for you non- Scandahoovians out there).
He drives to Nordakota, finds the farm and looks at the cow. He reaches under to see if she gives milk.
When he grabs the teat and pulls... the cow farts. Ole is very surprised. He looks at the farmer who is selling the cow, then reaches under the cow to try again.
He grabs another teat, pulls, and the cow farts again. Milk does come out however, so after
some discussion with the cow's current owner, Ole decides to buy the cow and take it home.
When he gets back to Minnesota , he calls over his neighbor, Sven, and says, 'Hey, Sven, come and look at dis ere new cow I yust bought. Pull her teat, and see vat happens.'
Sven reaches under, pulls the teat and the cow farts. Sven looks at Ole and says, 'You bought dis here cow in Nordakota, didn't yah?'
Ole is very surprised since he hadn't told Sven about his trip. Ole replies, 'Yah, dats right. But how did you know?'
Sven says, 'My wife is from Nordakota.'

Sep 29 @ 2:51PM  

I just submitted one in a Blog.

Sep 29 @ 2:58PM  
A Nordakota cow

and a *snort*

Sep 29 @ 3:08PM  
'My wife is from Nordakota.'

Cute! Reminds me of my ex, somehow...

Sep 29 @ 3:53PM  

A man takes his wife to the Dr. and says Dr you have to do something, she's very frigid. After checking her over and finding nothing wrong. The Dr. gives the man a bottle of pills and tells him; About an hour before bed time give her one of these pilss. But only giveher one, they are very strong.
So that night after dinner they are watching TV, The man looks at his watch, and thinks, almost bed time. So he takes out the pills and gives her one. Then thinks to himself, She's very frigid you better take a few more. After a few minutes he's
thinking, Well if they are as strong as the Dr. says, I might be in trouble, maybe I better take a cple. So he pops a couple.
Later they are laying in bed. the woman is rolling around rubbing her breast and moaning " I need a man, I need a man ". The man is on the other side of the bed
rubbing his chest and moaning " Me too, Me too ".

Sep 29 @ 7:13PM  
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the stars and tell me, what do you see?"
Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars."
Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that?"
Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life."
And Holmes said: "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent."

Sep 29 @ 9:24PM  
ok in order starting with DKW





Sep 29 @ 11:55PM  
And the Skwirl gets the prize for following directions!


Sep 30 @ 12:10AM  

Cute, my dark one.

wanna fuck?

Sep 30 @ 12:16AM  
And the Skwirl gets the prize for following directions!

Hey! I did too!

Sep 30 @ 12:34AM  
Alright, alright....

But you only get one , you didn't rate em all.

(Actually, we were supposed to rate ONE at a time until at least 5 ratings were in, then someone could post the next joke, then 5 more ratings, etc., but I guess I didn't explain it right. )

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Joke Contest....