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How Important is Cumming.....Everytime?

posted 9/28/2009 1:23:54 AM |
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I hate to assume, but I imagine that most of us have known what an earth shattering, toe curling orgasm feels like. And/or multiple orgasms, especially the ladies. At least once in our lives..........

With that in mind, do you have to cum... or have an orgasm.... everytime you have sex?
If your sexual partner doesn't bring you to an orgasm everytime, is there blame? Does that make them a bad lover in your opinion, or do you look at it as it's not going to happen everytime and let it go at that?

Whether having wild, crazy sex or making sensual love with someone, do you have to cum to be satisfied?

What about your partner.... If they don't cum, do you feel like you sexually failed them, or yourself?
Because I'm really hoping that no one is selfish enough to say it doesn't matter if their partner has an orgasm or not.

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Sep 28 @ 2:19AM  
No I don't have to cum every time. When my husband was living and I got it on a regular basis, I didn't cum every time...and sometimes he didn't either. I use to think I failed him but then I thought about why I didn't cum sometimes...too many worries, too tired or just couldn't get with the program and I figured he felt the same way sometimes. But afterwards we would be satisfied was just good to be one.

Sep 28 @ 4:22AM  
jeez, thanks for making me realise my supposed age again.

once upon a time it was the be all and end all, and being a gentleman , the lady always came first
these days, its more an emotional, deeper satisfaction thing, can't really describe it. but once you find THE right partner, when its all good, you won't even remember what planet your on ,let alone wether you had one or two orgasms along the way.
I never believed in the B.S about 'soulmates' either
but after 15 yrs,and it still only feels like a month or so ,weelllll.
don't get me wrong, we have our arguement just like any couple, but the differance is, we cool off and talk about things rather than saying ; f*ck this and walk away...
good blog babe.
even if you wasn't expecting such an in-depth reply

Sep 28 @ 5:22AM  
lets just say I've had my share of extremely SELFISH LOVERS!!

Sep 28 @ 6:16AM  
No it doesn't have to result in orgasm all the time, sometimes its the emotions behind the act that matter, and the person you are with.

Sep 28 @ 7:32AM  
I'm a Pleaser...and If my Lady don't Cum..yeah..I kinda feel like I didn't do my job!!!!
I have had some Ladies that could have an Orgasm in less that a Min...and some it would take a Hour or have an orgasm..!!! Every lady is different!!!!
But its all good exercise!
Oh yeah...I have toys to help Out..if needed!
Ladies are 1st with me!

Sep 28 @ 7:53AM  
It is like planting and tending a garden in that you want to harvest the fruits of your labor. But it need not be essential every time.

Sep 28 @ 8:11AM  
As a gentleman, ladies always come/cum first..

Sep 28 @ 8:25AM  
Oh, I really like how Tassie and WoW put, an orgasm is not always indicative of how much pleasure was enjoyed...if we are both satisfied, whether it was 10 minutes or 2 hours, it matters that we both enjoyed ourselves.

Sep 28 @ 9:20AM  
An orgasm is not always necessary for good sex. On the other hand if the other person is not putting anything into sex except for what they want out of it, that is not good.

Sep 28 @ 9:46AM  
Yes, it is important and I like it to happen every time. It really doesn't take much for my husband to get me to that point, so something is definitely wrong if it doesn't happen and I can only recall a couple times where I did not.

Apparently, I'm the only one that feels this way?!?!?! Sorry, but it seems like a huge disappointment to me if I don't achieve one......for me and him.

Sep 28 @ 10:13AM  
Let me see...I've got to flip a quarter here: heads------it's important, tails-------not so important

*flips quarter* It's heads.

btw..I do love the toe curling, earth shattering orgasm. Who doesn't? Seriously, while I love them, they aren't THAT important. It's like L4E says:
if we are both satisfied, whether it was 10 minutes or 2 hours, it matters that we both enjoyed ourselves.

Sep 28 @ 10:47AM  
I held off too long one time and ended up never getting mine. Not really worried about. I remember the frustration back then, but I was younger and probably a bit selfish at the time. After I was married and there was regularity, the concern wasn't there. We were just happy to have one another and the rest followed suit.

Sep 28 @ 1:44PM  
I'd love it every time, yes, but if it doesn't happen and it's made up for later, then I'm all good.

Sep 28 @ 2:51PM  
Luckily it really doesn't talk alot of effort to make me cum. If a guy cant get me off then he doesn't get with me again.
In a relationship I will often satisfy him without getting anything in return but thats because I enjoy it. This morning he got a nice BJ before going to work and I know I will get mine later.

Sep 28 @ 7:04PM  
I'm sure some women have a minute man in their life so reaching the big-O must be a frustrating challenge with intercourse & yes there is alternatives. As Bill Bellamy said men have the tingle man working against them. So far I have been fortunate to stay erect after firing away & keep on stroking which gives her ample amount of time to get her fix. It does help a man stay erect knowing he is giving her sexual gratification. I'm not going to lie, I have on rare occasions have had the droopy dick not in the mood syndrome. I have also stayed erect & couldn't cum which baffled me. I guess the well was dry.. In my opinion it is very important for a woman to have an orgasm but men & women are built different.

Sep 28 @ 7:26PM  
whether it was 10 minutes or 2 hours,

oooooh... I prefer the 2 hour sessions!!

I'm pretty damn good at it too!


Sep 28 @ 9:31PM  
Ok CL, you know it doesn't have to happen every time...sometimes it just wont go, for either of us. I know I enjoy trying to get you there and vice versa. Hmmmmm, those 2 hour sessions....

Sep 28 @ 9:42PM  
I'm one of the weird people who don't orgasm from sex, so no I don't see it as a negative if I don't cum during an encounter. It's nice of course but it isn't the focus of the experience for me.

Besides I can give myself multiple orgasms what I want from the interaction isn't necessarily my orgasm. And since I'm not a person who orgasm's during sex, I can't fault a guy for not doing it either. Of course I've never had an experience where he doesn't but I would be ok if he didn't.

Sep 29 @ 12:17AM  
It seems like it takes me forever to cum. But I feel that cumming is one of the best parts when having sex. So yes to cumming all the time during it.

Sep 29 @ 4:26AM  
I'm with Zena I've had my selfish lovers then I've had awesome lovers. But like Softie sometimes its just not there. No problem, the problem is when he isn't any good in that area (which is when you run for the hills)

Sep 29 @ 5:21AM  
My vibrator told me I cum too fast! Geeezzz...just trying to save the batteries.

Sep 29 @ 5:28AM  
Oh, I really like how Tassie and WoW put, an orgasm is not always indicative of how much pleasure was enjoyed...if we are both satisfied, whether it was 10 minutes or 2 hours, it matters that we both enjoyed ourselves.

I agree.

Sep 29 @ 12:12PM  
This is a good topic...

I'm one of those people that can be very long-lasting: my ex-fiancee was multi-orgasmic, and while it was always important to her that I came, there were times that we'd get frisky after a VERY long day at work, and I was just too tired. I'd finish her off many times/everytime, no problem, but she got to the point that we'd wonder if there was something wrong with me sometimes.

Me personally - I'm happy when the woman I'm with says "Enough!" - and I give it to her just a little bit longer...

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How Important is Cumming.....Everytime?