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BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER!!!

posted 9/26/2009 10:18:15 AM |
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  alanwestmorelandATyahoo

Dear wife:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for7 years and I have nothing to show for it.

These last 2 weeks have been hell; your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even
wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.

You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't
want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife.


Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.

Your EX-Husband

PS: Don’t try to find me. Your sister and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great day.

********************************************************
Dear Ex-Husband

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.. It's true you and I have been
married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work.

I did notice your hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment.

When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with my sister because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.

About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had borrowed $50 from me that morning.

After all of this, I still loved you and felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for $10 million, I quit my job and bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica, but when I got home, you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted...


My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me.
So take care.
Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & .....Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl.

I hope that's not a problem..

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Comments:

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zena343

Sep 26 @ 11:08AM  
LOL, damn that is funny, kudos to you!!

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BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER!!!