AddThis Social Bookmark Button
Free Dating

Paybacks.

posted 9/25/2009 11:57:43 AM |
0 kudosgive kudos what's this?
    report abuse
tagged: funny, joke
  sugarnspice005

Two guys are walking down the street when a mugger approaches them and demands their money. They both grudgingly pull out their wallets and begin taking out their cash. Just then one guy turns to the other and hands him a bill. “Here’s that $20 I owe you,” he says.


A guy enters bar carrying an alligator. Says to the patrons, “Here’s a deal. I’ll open this alligator’s mouth and place my genitals inside. The gator will close his mouth for one minute, then open it, and I’ll remove my unit unscathed. If it works, everyone buys me drinks.” The crowd agrees. The guy drops his pants and puts his privates in the gator’s mouth. Gator closes mouth. After a minute, the guy grabs a beer bottle and bangs the gator on the top of its head. The gator opens wide, and he removes his genitals unscathed. Everyone buys him drinks. Then he says: “I’ll pay anyone $100 who’s willing to give it a try.” After a while, a hand goes up in the back of the bar. It’s a woman. “I’ll give it a try,” she says, “but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle.”


A man is driving his five year old to a friend’s house when another car races in front and cuts them off, nearly causing an accident. “Douchebag!” the father yells. A moment later he realizes the indiscretion, pulls over, and turns to face his son. “Your father just said a bad word,” he says. “I was angry at that driver, but that was no excuse for what I said. It was wrong. But just because I said it, it doesn’t make it right, and I don’t ever want to hear you saying it. Is that clear?” His son looks at him and says: “Too late, douchebag.”

Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them. The first guys drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The second guys says, “What are you doing? Sneakers won’t help you outrun that bear.” “I don’t need to outrun the bear,” the first guy says. “I just need to outrun you.”

It's Friday.....woooooooooooooooooooooohoooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!

Wait a minute....that means I have to work tomorrow.

Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)

   read more blogs!

Blogs by sugarnspice005:
For the skiiers
Try this again
It was a good game.
I love our Canadian neighbors
Yikes!!
An America I'd like to see
Fart Football
Thumbs up!
Rainy fall day
And I missed it.
Let's lighten the mood some
For the new bloggers
Paybacks.
An oldie but goodie
Just Fred
Granny's letter to the bank
I know I shouldn't..but
And the Lions march on
Welcome to Pervia
At the risk of being stale or lame
Want some cheese with your whine?
Sarcasma
Just got an update
My apologies for this
It's not fair


Comments:

post a comment!

Ewe_Wish

Sep 25 @ 12:06PM  
His son looks at him and says: “Too late, douchebag.”
Sounds like my granddaughter......... My daughters boyfriend thinks its cute that he taught her to say Eat my shorts..........which she does regularly to ppl...........I told him from now on when she says that I am not getting after her i am going to slap you up along side of the head...........you should have known better...............he didn't say much but i am positive i heard him say eat my shorts when i walked off.........


Cute jokes Sugar...................
max49

Sep 25 @ 1:23PM  
somnium

Sep 25 @ 4:28PM  
“I just need to outrun you.”
seen it before but still funny!


Wordsofwit

Sep 25 @ 4:47PM  
My daughters boyfriend thinks its cute that he taught her to say Eat my shorts

Okay, Ewe, tell us what happened when she said that to you?

If my grandson says that to me, I won't slap him (though tempted), but I will spin him around and smack his ass. His mom and dad feel similarly and are old school in that regard. Nobody likes a smart ass kid. But many parents put up with it. As a result, we have a lot of rude, obnoxious, unaccountable kids today.

Now, in my parents' defense, they did everything they could to curb my obnoxious tendencies. Hell, my mother slapped me more than Moe slapped Curly. It just never did any good. But by about the age of thirteen they did curb it until I got out on my own.
Ewe_Wish

Sep 25 @ 8:34PM  
Okay, Ewe, tell us what happened when she said that to you?
She gets soap in her mouth..........and boyfriend was told that if he continues to teach her shit like that I will show him a new use for my cane.....

free dating | mission statement | testimonials | safety warning | report abuse | safe list | privacy | legal | 2257 | advertise | link to us

© Copyright 2000-2014 Online Singles, LLC.
OS-WEB02
Paybacks.