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Is Cheating, Cheating?

posted 9/25/2009 12:54:21 AM |
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Have you ever gotten one of those emails that had you mentally banging your head against a wall?......or better yet, theirs?

I got one of those from a guy who, after I told him I was happily in a monogomous relationship and I don't cheat nor help others cheat, decided to give me a lecture on what is and what isn't cheating in a relationship...
Ironically he lives nearby, is married and wanted to get together. Imagine that!
Now, he is entitled to his opinions as well as I am mine...but I don't agree with him and didn't appreciate him telling me how wrong and repressed I am for my opinions.
And I had to wonder if his wife knows about his thinking on this and what her thoughts would be if she did....


He says....
If a person is not getting sex ...or enough sex... in a marriage and goes elsewhere, it doesn't count as cheating. Just don't do it in the home bed

If you are not married, even if you are living together, and have sex with someone else, you are not cheating. There are no vows being broken.

If a spouse/significant other has sex with someone else, their partner always reaps the benefits. Whether they know about the affair or not.

Anyone is not being sexually satisfied by their partner, and accepts that, has no self worth. It is human nature to seek someone who does fullfill those desires. And if they don't it's only because they don't love them self enough to. And they can't truly love their partner if they have no self love or self worth.

And if everyone were sexually satisfied, to their level of satisfication, there would be no divorce.
Which, BTW, he doesn't believe in.

My opinion is that If you are in a monogomous relationship and you have sex with someone else.... it does count as cheating. It's kind of like being on a strict diet, but going to the ice cream shop and eating all the ice cream and toppings that you want. The calories still count and you are still cheating on your diet. You're not going to lose the weight, regardless of where you are eating the ice cream, or who knows about it..
Cheating is cheating! Married or not......My Opinion....


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Comments:

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NightOfOld

Sep 25 @ 12:56AM  


Only if your cheating.
Ewe_Wish

Sep 25 @ 1:00AM  
Its amazing the excuses that can be made to keep from feeling guilty..............

Maybe I am old fashion but if your with someone.........whether living together, married, or dating exclusively..............anything outside of that is cheating..........thank God my SO feels the same way............
belle1010

Sep 25 @ 1:08AM  
In my world it is.
Looking4ever

Sep 25 @ 1:46AM  
The only way it isn't cheating, to me, is if your partner (in whatever the relationship is...married, dating, living together, etc.) KNOWINGLY condones you having sex with someone else.

Personally, if I am sleeping with someone I am dating, even if the relationship isn't exclusive, that's the only person I am having sex with. I'm not into dating and sleeping with multiple people at the same time.
Ewe_Wish

Sep 25 @ 2:03AM  
The only way it isn't cheating, to me, is if your partner (in whatever the relationship is...married, dating, living together, etc.) KNOWINGLY condones you having sex with someone else.
I absolutely agree.........open marriages/relationships is totally different................not that I am into it..........but not my business what types of relationships other people have...........
tassie1

Sep 25 @ 3:47AM  
my eldest daughter is 28.
we have the most unusual conversations sometime, she is the most broad minded female i have even known.
one day we were casually talking about relationships and differances in libidos etc .
and she said straight out, she was all for open relationships etc and it wasn't cheating if it was in a differant postcode
I commented on this with my lil sister who's 36 and she reckons; yer sweet if its not in yer street

now don't get me wrong, I'm all for monogomous relationships in a normal world, but in todays world, with differant opinions,libido's etc it varies from one person to the next.
my own wife told me she was ok with us having an open marriage if I wanted to look elsewhere, doesn't mean I'm gona go running out looking, it boils down to being comfortable enough in your relationship to feel that way I guess that there isn't any insecurity's btwn ppl

BUT, if one partner is deliberately keeping the truth to themselves ,then thats definately cheating

* good blog, have a greenie, i like stuff thats not open and shut and clear as mud
frank747

Sep 25 @ 7:50AM  
the strange thing about all this is that at some point in time there is a commitment that has to be agreed upon. similar and the same as a marriage vow i guess. anyway the only cheatin i can understand is of breakin a promise. knowingly or by accident, it is cheatin. that and lookin at the other persons cards.
some of you may remember that my opinion of sex is that it is only 2 or maybe 3 steps away from a hand shake. (U COUNT THEM)
for sure someting the think a bout when the mouse is away.
DarkKnightWalking

Sep 25 @ 8:48AM  
Sorry, that guy has some serious delusions.

From Wikipedia: Monogamy is the state of having only one sexual partner at any one time. Doesn't have to be a marriage, either.

If a person is not getting sex ...or enough sex... in a marriage and goes elsewhere, it doesn't count as cheating. Just don't do it in the home bed
ONLY if their partner knows about it...

If you are not married, even if you are living together, and have sex with someone else, you are not cheating. There are no vows being broken.
May not be cheating per se, but see "Monogamous."

If a spouse/significant other has sex with someone else, their partner always reaps the benefits. Whether they know about the affair or not.

I smell excuses here....and a stinky rat...

And if they don't it's only because they don't love them self enough to. And they can't truly love their partner if they have no self love or self worth.

*coff*
*coff*
*BULLSHIT*
*coff*

Wonderful little cocoon he has himself all wrapped up in, protecting himself from guilt.

I also wonder how his wife feels.
dmbchick420

Sep 25 @ 9:55AM  
Cheating is cheating! Married or not......My Opinion.

I agree! He's just making excuses for himself so he can justify his right to cheat. Idiot.
Ewe_Wish

Sep 25 @ 10:03AM  
I told CL she should have told him...........hey if your wife thinks your such a loser she don't want to fuck you............what makes you think I would think any different about you.........
31sunshine

Sep 25 @ 10:12AM  
It's really sad what people will tell themselves to justify their actions. A cheater is a cheater no matter what spin you put on it. If your that unhappy in a relationship, get counseling, work your ass off to make it better and if you can't do that, be a human being and walk away first.

I wonder if this guy would change his opinions if he was cheated on. Regardless he seems rather pathetic to me.
sugarnspice005

Sep 25 @ 10:32AM  
If a spouse/significant other has sex with someone else, their partner always reaps the benefits. Whether they know about the affair or not.

ummm...sorry, but some "benefits" I definitely would NOT want would be STD's.

[/QUOTE]My opinion is that If you are in a monogomous relationship and you have sex with someone else.... it does count as cheating.[QUOTE]

Exactly.

I really feel for that man's wife if she is totally unaware of his "logic".
Looking4ever

Sep 25 @ 11:52AM  
hey if your wife thinks your such a loser she don't want to fuck you............what makes you think I would think any different about you.........

Oh, I love that line...going to 'borrow' it if you don't mind....

If a spouse/significant other has sex with someone else, their partner always reaps the benefits. Whether they know about the affair or not.

Oh, yes! I always reaped the benefits of having to go see my family doctor to get tested for STDs....what a wonderful benefit that was. One of many, in fact.
waynuckingfutz

Sep 25 @ 12:57PM  
To quote a famous person, "I did NOT have sex with that woman."

So, I guess he wasn't cheating, eh?

rayden900

Sep 27 @ 8:29AM  
Cheating is cheating anyway you look at it. People shouldn't be in relationships if they are going to cheat, just be fuck buddies. Maybe I'm a bit conservative when it comes to relationships, but I don't like to share.

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Is Cheating, Cheating?