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Term: Sperm Donor

posted 12/18/2006 11:34:57 AM |
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I have learned this term in a literal sence within the last year....
Do woman really want a sperm donor, I have seen 2 woman I know have a baby this year, one was an office fling at work with a co-worker and the other had hers, when her and the boyfriend were broke up and had a very rocky relationship, he even moved out and lived in his his own place when she got pregnant. Well it seems these 2 new mom's think their baby's are theirs only, and no one elses. They make all the decisions, they dont let the real fathers have them for christmas, one of them(office fling) didnt even tell his side of the family that they had a new child in the family and she would not let him be involved until recently, the other guy went back with his ex and tried to make it work for the baby's sake and paid all the back bills at her house,built a baby's room,supported her and the family as she took 3 months off work. He did alot for her and the new baby to find that there was no appreciation or respect coming back his way. This friend of mine and I went out to the bars together last week, when he got home he was locked out of the house and the cops were called to tell him to leave. Just because he went out and did something for himself for once, as soon as she had a chance she takes the baby away and kicks him out of the house.

Now It seems like a revenge act or just plain cruel but after 3 months of being with his new baby, he now has to go thru the courts just to see it (which takes 3-4 months).

My question to you is, are woman really satisfied with having a man as just a sperm donar and then they somehow think the baby does not need a father?

Do you think woman will have a baby to spite or use against another man?

If so would the wise woman of this site please explain the overall thought process when it comes to these situations?

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Blogs by Rockstar8869:
Letter to my baby:
The Past, Present and Future......
Term: Sperm Donor
Female Ejaculation
I need a Squirter....
Web Site Dating......
365 Reasons
Woman Do Live on the Wild Side
My First Blog...Your take on this is very appreciated


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Dec 18 @ 11:52AM  
It's a control issue, Rockstar...bitches on a powertrip. And while I think there definately are some women who view the father as a sperm donor from the get go, or who have babies for the purpose of trying to control a man, I think it's more likely a fair percentage of women have babies with the hope of solidifying a relationship. (And yes, I'm speaking from what I've personally seen.) But there are some us out here who have babies because we want them, whether or not the father will be a part of the child's life (remember, it's not always the woman's fault when the father doesn't have a relationship with the child), and not only want but encourage his participation in their lives.

I happen to be a huge supporter of paternal rights and an easier path to securing them, and I've said so in a couple of my blogs. It doesn't seem right that a man who is legally named the father should have to fight or the right to see his child, but it is a fact; the mother has more rights to the baby than the father simply because it comes out of her body. People rant and rave about deadbeat dads and how it takes both a man and a woman to make a child, but do they stop to think about how hard a woman can make it to see the kids...much less how the laws of this country seem to support them?

Grrrrr...this is a subject near and dear to my heart. Because of one such bitch, I went from seeing 2 of my grandkids every day, to 3 times a week, to once or twice a month - if even that. And they live just a couple blocks away from me...Grandparent rights? Not if the bitch has it written in the court order I can't ask her to see the kids. Sorry for ranting...this shit pisses me off to no end!

Dec 18 @ 11:58AM  
Thanks for the great feeback sxze...its an evil thing to do to a child, whether it be a deadbeat dad or a woman controling and keeping the baby away, all that gets hurt in the long run is the child.....

Dec 18 @ 12:04PM  
Having not seen two of my children in three years (fear of lead poisoning) I can see how the sperm donor path would be considered a viable path. Sorry lads and ladies.. If I had it all to do over again I would sperm bank my children.

I agree with Sxze though, those who use someone to get pregnant and then refuse to allow them to see the kids are just power trippin beotches. But then those who have the children together and then turn around and say.. nope you can't see em.. they are far far worse in my opinion.


Dec 18 @ 12:31PM  
I happen 2 be the proud papa of a fourteen year-old daughter I haven't laid eyes on since she wuz three years old, so I suppose I know a thing or two about power tripping bitches. The DA makes certain 2 garnish my wages (the county MUST have their welfare money paid back, after all) every week, but at the same time refuses 2 tell me where my kid lives or 2 enforce the courts order of visitation. It really fucking sucks. All I can do is hope that once she is all grown up we will be able 2 establish the relationship I have always wanted, and that she will understand it wuz not my doing that kept us separated all these years. It shouldn't be 2 difficult. She does know her mother at least as well as I do, so she has 2 know by now that the bitch is fucking loony toones, doesn't she?

And while I'm on the subject of child support (I realize no one else is on this subject, but I just don't care!), I understand that I have 2 pay 4 my kids and I have no quarrel with that. What I don't understand is why I am forced 2 pay back her welfare check? WTF is that all about? And yes, I have heard the argument that the taxpayers shouldn't have 2 pay 4 my children, but don't U think that bitch should be on the hook 4 at least half of it? If a third party wuz raising our child she would be, but becuz she chooses 2 sit on her ass and do nothing I get stuck with the whole fucking bill. Now U tell me how that's fucking fair from anyone's point of view.

I'm done now. Sxze can have her soapbox back.


Dec 18 @ 12:43PM  
Thanks for sharing DS...the laws are changing a bit and anybody paying child support should look back into having it adjusted if they want to, I know in MN they are changing all the laws to be more even and taking in account the mothers incomes or lack there off.....

Dec 18 @ 12:59PM  
I personally have been through the courts for 8 years and counting trying to get my girls away from a physical, drug and alcohol abusive mother, and have so far invested enough to build a house. Sxze said it right, it is a control issue,,I hate to say it, but she had them to keep me (Yeah I'm on the pill),,and uses them to control, If I anger her, I go months and a one point a year without seeing them.
The eyes of the courts and child service agencies are that of we forced ourselves on them and should be getting assault with a deadly weapon, tied down and forced to do it.

I must keep it to the fact that we are all born to this world as nothing more than a lump of clay,,but it it the sum of ones life experiences that mould us into the wicked man.

Dec 18 @ 1:54PM  
I can't believe some women are vicious enough to think doing that to someone let alone actually pulling this. These kind of women have no good to them and should be treated as trash that they are. It makes me so mad when I see situations like that every now and then. If the guy donated his sperm and he's a really nice guy I think it's only right to allow him to get to know his child too.

Dec 18 @ 2:06PM  
Yeah, I'm still here...

Indeed, child support laws are changing to look at both parent’s situations, and CS is to be based on a combination of income and time spent with each parent. Despite this, I know men who have their kids 50% of the time and still pay support. What’s wrong with that picture??? I don’t understand one parent having to compensate for the lack of income of the other parent; it’s one thing when poverty is an issue, but when both parents are self-sufficient, I’m not so sure it’s fair. If I went to college and have a higher earning capacity, I should not be expected to help level the financial playing field for the other parent. (Is it just me, or do I sound like a Republican? heh-heh!)

It is a fact that payment (or non-payment) of CS has nothing – legally – to do with visitation; that is to say, paying support does not ensure visitation and vice-versa. I am on the fence on this one – and mostly because to say that paying support should entitle one to visitation is like saying there is a price tag attached to seeing the child. That’s just wrong. That’s practically prostitution (okay, maybe that’s a stretch…). None-the-less, it seems to be true that the courts are more likely to take action against a dad for not paying support than they are against a mom who withholds visitation in violation of a court order. What makes this more inequitable is the fact that – at least here in WI – a man has to pay to file a motion when the mother isn’t allowing visits, while the woman only need call and alert the CSA that he’s not paying to get something done. Excuse me?

One more thing *grin*, here in WI, when applying for public assistance, it used to be that when you signed your name to that app you were also saying you will pay this money back if you can…obviously, not in those words and in the fine print no one reads. If you receive public assistance in your twenties, work your way off and become successful, there is a tab to pay in the end. However, in the meantime, WI has a new way of handling paying back benefits. Get this – through past due child support! That’s right guys – a portion of back support that you pay will reimburse the state for cash benefits paid to the mom at some point. Of course, this is only in relation to your child; at least they are only billing the dads on their own kids. But only applies to those who are behind – dads current in their CS, even to a mother on public assistance, don’t have to pay. Who thinks this shit up???

Okay, now, let me say I’m not saying this to slam moms on public assistance in any way, shape, manner, or form: DO NOT MISTAKE ME. That is the last thing that I’d ever do, trust me. But let me reassure you financial assistance is capped at 24 months…it’s no longer possible to spend a child’s lifetime living off the government; gone are the days of getting a bigger check for having more babies…so the gov’t is starting to do more to ensure the moms assume financially responsible for the support of the child as well as the dad. Change is slow, but it’s working. Mom’s ARE getting out there into the workforce, often spending a lot of time and energy jumping hurdles and maneuvering around barriers to achieve self-sufficiency (and often a greater sense of self-worth and esteem), but they're doing it. So, no, I’m not knocking the moms…just cursing the system.

Okay, I'm done. For now!

Dec 18 @ 2:16PM  
Ok one thing here.. I refuse to pay that bastard who has my children for the privelege of not letting me see them even though the courts have given me visitation. First off he makes a shitpot full of money more than I do.. and secondly.. why would I support him? I know the money would not go toward the children.. nothing ever went any further than himself. During the marriage or after. And the state backed me up on it. So there are times when saying no i won't support you.. are reasonable.

Dec 18 @ 2:18PM  
Wow,,yes and no, All the mother has to do to not be against the order is say he had them last week, who is to say she is wrong? I find the mother's get the upper hand in all, he goes through the pain of childbirth, and we go through the pain of childbirth untill the children are 18. There is a lot of pain associated with not being able to be there for the first day of school, plays, christmas, halloween, the first bike ride. Having them call you and cryin saying mom is drunk and hit me again,,knowing your hands are tied...try it, you will learn not to fear hell, you are living it.

Dec 18 @ 2:23PM  
been there myself is hell and it has to come from there...including the one making it that way.......

Dec 18 @ 2:32PM  
I refuse to pay that bastard who has my children for the privelege of not letting me see them even though the courts have given me visitation.

If I offended you, ponme, I most certainly did not mean to. I was talking specifically about men fighting for their rights in the system because it's geared in favor of the moms. Still, your example is exactly what I'm talking about - paying support doesn't ensure that your rights will be upheld. What you did that I don't see men doing is taking them back to court. Men seem to wait, or not bother...or not know they can. You're not typical at all, my dear - and you know that I've also experienced the same fight you have. My apologies if I've upset you, sweetie!

Dec 18 @ 2:42PM  
Not offeneded, frustrated. It is not about the support, money comes and goes, it is about where you know the money goes. I am currently trying to get an amendment where the money goes into an account for the children to be given to them at a certain age. That way i am not paying her off, as per the prostitution comment, I am actually fortifying their future. The only problem is courts and mother's/fathers will not hear of it...want the extra income and want it now!!

Dec 18 @ 2:48PM  
Hmmm, a fellow crusader... Okay, I'll stop...couldn't resist!

Dec 18 @ 2:56PM  
I think someone should post a blog on who defines the rules, there are so many stipulations how to live our lives and they are defined by whom. Parents rights defined by women with no kids. Laws defined by men and women who are above them.

Dec 18 @ 3:26PM  

Dec 18 @ 3:42PM  
I was one of the lucky guys who got to spend a lot of quality time with my kid but a big part of that was knowing how hard it is for a single mom to raise a kid, have a life and make enough money to live on. So the money might go for fixing her car. Big deal, she needed it to take care of the kid. She was a good mother and making their life easier made my sons life better. A mother that's not stressed out all the time can do a lot better job raising my son and helping him with homework, getting him to soccer ect. I wasn't there all the time, she knew his schedule at school better than I did so I worked very hard to mesh with them instead of asking them to mesh in with my life. It didn't take long before we got very good at it.

Dec 18 @ 3:48PM  
I agree with you zippi, that is the best way to deal with this, but you were working with a cooperative sig other, when you have a parent out to use the child for negative reasons there is no cooperation and the other parent has to fight the rest of their lifes to see their child. That is where the rules change and some people have to give up because the fight became too much to handle and their lives were starting to become out of control..I think that is one reason parents have to decide to give up the child to keep their sanity and that is where alot of the dead beat parents get started....good input though that is the best way....cant we all just get along

Dec 18 @ 3:55PM  
Absolutely not!!! I waited until I was 32 yr. old to have a child. I made sure that I was married because I did not want to raise a child on my own. I wanted that support, someone to get up in the middle of the night with me, someone to share the load, the responsibility. It is one hell of a big responsibility on your own. Ironic though, I now am on my own, my husband died when she was 6. It is hard and it is a struggle but one well worth it all, with alot of rewards!!!


Dec 18 @ 5:58PM  
OK I have to say something from the mother's standpoint.... I am a single mother. My son's father got both me and another girl pregnant at the same time. He told me he didnt care what I did as long as I didnt tell his other girl. So I walked away, asked for nothing, until he ended up with 3 girls from her. Low and behold... I have the golden boy child. Now he wants to be a father, but on his time. Do you wanna know how many times he said he was coming to see him and not show? My son had surgery.... did he ever come to visit. I never got a penny for child support. But when my son said he didnt want to have anything to do with him. (that's alot coming from a 5 yr old.) I shut him out. I am not having my son, upset that he did something wrong to make daddy not want to spend time with him. or worse his father making it MY fault. Yes, now I am getting child support, which I had to fight for tooth and nail. I got tired of working 2 jobs to make it by. So you have to look at it from both sides. There are smucks everywhere and they are procreating!!! I would definately use a sperm bank..... less hassell.

Dec 18 @ 6:46PM  
nope not offended just tossing in a fitty cent worth of sometimes the shoe is on the other foot.

Dec 18 @ 6:49PM  
Mymastersslave, your situation is the same as a lot of women out there - including myself. But we're not talking about deadbeat dads here who choose not neither participate nor support their kids - we're talking about men who want to be involved beyond sending a check and women who prevent them. And we're talking about the family court system (which includes child support) that doesn't treat men and women fairly - regardless of having paid child support. The facts are the facts - the system is not fair to men. And sure, it's great when you're the woman and they are on your side, but when there is a man in your life who's being unfairly treated by the system (and it involves your grandkids) you can start to really see how unbalanced the scales of justice in family court really are...and how many people it really affects. I'm not at all wanting to take away from how difficult it is for single moms; I've been one for 26 years.

But, I don't just talk shit - I do more than just help my men file paperwork; I practice what I preach. When my income went up, we went back to court to adjust support, and not only did I agree to take $250/month less than I was "entitled" to have by the standards of that day (1998), but I also set it up so that 1/3 of current support paid when toward the arrears - some $200/month, as opposed to the funky $10 they wanted (which didn't even cover the interest). Beyond that, I excused all interest acrued. Why? Because it was sinking him and I was doing okay. I also picked up health insurance so he wouldn't have to. Eventually he was able to catch up, then get ahead. Now, if I need help, he never fails to be there for me. He's also been a part of my daughter's life - and I will say fairly consistently despite the distance apart that we life - is a good dad.

Dec 18 @ 6:51PM  
Please excuse the typos! I was in a hurry! :)

Dec 18 @ 7:07PM  
If only everyone could be as fair-minded as you Sxze, the law would not even be necessary. Too bad we live in a world populated by selfish individuals who only act to avoid punishment.

Dec 18 @ 7:08PM  
Very well said Sxze, we can all hope most woman and men would do the same thing if they were in the situation...great feedback from everyone

Dec 18 @ 10:38PM  
That is messed up from what I read :
This friend of mine and I went out to the bars together last week, when he got home he was locked out of the house and the cops were called to tell him to leave. Just because he went out and did something for himself for once, as soon as she had a chance she takes the baby away and kicks him out of the house.

He should call social services and say she is unfit mother and try to get custody of the kid to get the child back .....


Dec 27 @ 12:41PM  
That's why I always say- know those you fuck! And if these women want to have children with no father involvement- well, they could always go to a clinic with sperm donors! It saves a lot of money in legal fees and time wasted on custodial battles. Seems like you and your friend have gone through the exact situation from the recent blogs you posted, it's always good to have someone to empathize with you and understand your pain.

Dec 30 @ 9:46PM  
Hey RockStar:

I have finally made it over to your blogs....holy shit dude! I came this way wondering where you have been. You seem to have had a lot of good comments and now suddenly you look to be gone.....although it is the Holiday might be off spending time with your family. Probably...I know that is where i would be if I had gone thru all the mess you describe. Dam....these chick are touched!

I definately feel for you. As to just what she may have been takes a seriuosly messed up person to go obout it like that. Did you ever see the's an old movie...the one where the chick committs suicide in the beginning and all the friends gather from all over for the funeral....and the one chick asks her high school sweetheart if he would sleep with her and have his baby but thats it....she asked him, they talked about it....they talked to their friends about it....I'm sure you have seen the's one of those that everyone has seen....

So, I think you get my point....if in fact what you say is true, that you think she just wanted a kid by you and nothing must have some pretty good genes! But it would be a bit troubling to me if I were a guy...which I'm not....which I am happy about because I like the feeling of a big hard cock inside me from time to time....and maybe that was it.....she thinks you are good in bed....those are some props to are good in bed and you have good genes.....but the story sounds quite a bit more complicated than that and i don't mean to be silly about something that really is pretty serious I am sure......Ihope for the kids sake that the chick comes to and realizes that all this craziness is only going to harm him or is it a her....(did you say?) In the long's a shame....shit like this happens all too often. And we wonder why there are so many people who have mental health issues in this country....because some people don't know how to act like adults and take responsibility for their's really that simple....all I can do your part....if the kid ever wants to see your arms to it....Dr. Phil talks alot about this kind of stuff....check out his all everyone on here is going to think I am a wack job because I am telling you to see what Dr. Phil has to say..... GREAT! Ah...who gives a shit what anyone else thinks...The kid always has to come first and you have to be careful how you see to it that the kid isn't emotionally damaged due to circumstanses that it didn't choose.....

Sorry that was a bit of a rant....but I tend be quite vocal when it comes to kids.....who are we to be so fucking selfish as to deprive a child of the life it so deserves? Hope it all turns out got a tough road ahead my friend...Keep your head up and ROCK ON!!! Oh and one other thing.....I am taking it upon myself to assume that maybe one of the dudes here must be you....if it's not then my apologies..... It just seemed to me the more you wrote especially toward the end when you talked about you and your buddy going out to the bar......I've been known to be a ditz....if not....if you feel I have said anything worthwhile, you can decide if you want to tell the Baby daddie if you want.....we are on here to offer opinions anyway right? Hell you don't know


Dec 31 @ 12:00AM  
There is another option.

Plenty (just a guess) Lesbians, who want to have kids but.... the other gender is needed. They can spend $30K in some clinic without garantee's, or they just play a guy on a trip for a 1-few nights of intense erotic fun and go home with a bun in the oven.

Now.... If they want to do that, i cannot blame them, but afterwards they shouldn't be knocking on his door asking for child support.


Dec 31 @ 11:02AM  
Interesting twist....

Chick who digs chicks musters up the (desire?) to fuck some guy just to get prego? Maybe that's it Rockstar...does she play for the other team....and decided to play dirty one night?


Honey....I'm not sure I could even face that one if I were you....that surely would be an episode for Maury!

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Term: Sperm Donor