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He Said...She Said......

posted 9/21/2009 1:05:34 PM |
1 kudogive kudos what's this?
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tagged: fuck, funny, women, men, sunshine
  Sunshine79

He: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?"
She: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."


He: So what do you do for a living?
She: Female impersonator.


He: "Is this seat empty?"
She: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."


He: "So, wanna go back to my place?"
She: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"


He: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
She: "It's in the phone book."
He: "But I don't know your name."
She: "That's in the phone book too."


HE: "What sign were you born under?"
SHE: "No Parking."


He: "I know how to please a woman."
She: "Then please leave me alone."


He: "Haven't we met before?"
She: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic."


He: "I want to give myself to you."
She: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."


He: "I can tell that you want me."
She: "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you... to leave."


He: "Hey, baby, What's your sign?"
She: "Stop."


He: "Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"
She: "Sorry, I don't date outside my species."


He: "May I see you pretty soon?"
She: "Why? Don't you think I'm pretty now?"


He: "Your body is like a temple."
She"Sorry, there are no services today."


He: "I'd go through anything for you."
She: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."


He: "I would go to the end of the world for you."
She: "Yes, but would you stay there?"


He: "Your place or mine?"
She: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."


After hearing a pickup line:
I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

If you are looking at a girl and she says "What are you looking at?"
say "I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken."


He: Would you like to dance?
She: Not with you.
He: Oh, come on. Lower your standards a little, I just did.


He: Do you wanna dance?
She: Yeah but not with you!
He: You must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants!


Q: Does beauty run in your family?
A: It obviously doesn't in yours!


Q: What's your name sexy?
A: Taken!


Q: Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again?
A: Yeah, but this time don't stop!


Q: I think you're the best looking girl in here.
A: Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!


He: Your legs go clear up to your ass.
She: Most peoples' do!


Q: Can I buy you a drink?
A: Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!


He: "You look like a dream."
Response: "Go back to sleep."


He: What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?
She: What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?


He: "I can see forever in your eyes."
Response: "But all I can see is never in yours."


He: "I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included."
Response: "Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk."

.............. ............... .................... ................... ........

Anybody wanna fuck??

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Comments:

post a comment!

surv6969

Sep 21 @ 1:14PM  

Of coarse
somnium

Sep 21 @ 1:34PM  
He: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
She: "It's in the phone book."
He: "But I don't know your name."
She: "That's in the phone book too."

I like that one!

The rest of them are good too!

shewolf53

Sep 21 @ 1:51PM  
Bad thing is I have heard men actually using those lame lines trying to pick up women. They were using these back in the 70s, I used to just start laughing at them when they tried to use them on me. Works every time better than any comeback. These are good.
Looking4ever

Sep 21 @ 2:10PM  
Sometimes and obvious pick up line works...it breaks the ice if both laugh at it.

You forgot, "Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?"
selectusername

Sep 21 @ 3:25PM  
Who needs pickup lines, I just drag them

by their hair back to my cave!

Wordsofwit

Sep 21 @ 3:28PM  
Oldies but goodies.
shewolf53

Sep 21 @ 3:29PM  
I just drag them by their hair back to my cave!

And hope they are not wearing a wig
dmbchick420

Sep 21 @ 3:34PM  
Those make me laugh every time
sugarnspice005

Sep 21 @ 3:42PM  
LilGriz

Sep 21 @ 7:04PM  
He: "I'd go through anything for you."
She: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

Sounds like my ex

Do you still wanna fuck???
wstang69

Sep 21 @ 9:08PM  

Ewe_Wish

Sep 21 @ 10:50PM  
She: "Sorry, I don't date outside my species."
I am betting 90% of the women on AMD have used this line...........and at least 75% of the men..........
slohand_47

Sep 22 @ 1:59AM  
Not a put down.... just funny.

Guy walks into a bar. See's this gorgeous lady sitting there with VERY tight leather pants on. He walks up to her and says........ "excuse me, I don't mean to be nosy.... but those have to be the TIGHTEST pants I've ever seen. How do you get into them?"

She replies........ "Well, you could start by buying me a drink"
StraddleMyNose

Sep 22 @ 10:36PM  

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He Said...She Said......