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Time to garden

posted 9/9/2009 10:32:26 AM |
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tagged: funny, joke
  sugarnspice005

A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: "Dear Husband, I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?" The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replied in a letter: "Dear Wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money." A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife: "Dear Husband, You wouldn't believe what happened, some men came with shovels to the house, and dug up all the back garden." The prisoner wrote another letter back: "Dear wife, now is the best time to plant the lettuce."


Comments at your Funeral

Three friends die in a car accident and they go to an orientation in heaven. They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning you, what would you like to hear them say about you? The first guy says,"I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man." The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow." The last guy replies, "I would like to hear them say ... Look, He's Moving!



Golden Saloon

A guy comes home completely drunk one night. He lurches through the door and is met by his scowling wife, who is most definitely not happy. "Where the hell have you been all night?" she demands. "At this fantastic new bar," he says. "The Golden Saloon. Everything there is golden. It's got huge golden doors, a golden floor, the works - hell, even the urinal's gold!" The wife still doesn't believe his story, and the next day checks the phone book, finding a place across town called the Golden Saloon. She calls up the place to check her husband's story. "Is this the Golden Saloon?" she asks when the bartender answers the phone. "Yes it is," bartender answers. "Do you have huge golden doors?" "Sure do." "Do you have golden floors?" "Most certainly do." "What about golden urinals?" There's a long pause, then the woman hears the bartender yelling, "Hey, Duke, I think I got a lead on the guy that pissed in your saxophone last night!



Dogged lawyer

A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, beelines for a butcher shop and steals a roast. The butcher goes to the lawyer's office and asks, “If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?” The lawyer answers, “Absolutely.” “Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today.” The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50 (attorneys don't carry cash). Several days later, the butcher opens the mail and finds an envelope from the lawyer: It was a bill for $100 for a consultation!

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   read more blogs!

Blogs by sugarnspice005:
Welcome to Pervia
At the risk of being stale or lame
Want some cheese with your whine?
Sarcasma
Just got an update
My apologies for this
It's not fair
Name the 7 Dwarfs
The Vet
To my friends
Beyonce has class
It's almost time
Time to garden
Don't mess with women
Should I take him up on his offer?
Galloping Horse
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Another football season is about to start
This is just sick!!!
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How dare you!
I have a question
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A hole in one
My Michigan


Comments:

post a comment!

onehornytoad69

Sep 9 @ 10:45AM  
Cute..thx!!
casuallylooking

Sep 9 @ 11:35AM  
It was a bill for $100 for a consultation!
Yeap, it figures!
xquseme

Sep 9 @ 11:37AM  
Hey, Duke, I think I got a lead on the guy that pissed in your saxophone last night!
Oops! I was wondering why I couldn't flush the damned thing!!
NightOfOld

Sep 9 @ 2:02PM  


RevDocLove

Sep 9 @ 2:20PM  
wstang69

Sep 9 @ 9:35PM  
First time I have heard of the Golden Saloon

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Time to garden