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Once Upon A Time, In Pervia

posted 9/1/2009 1:40:13 PM |
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  theSkwirl

Once upon a time; a long, long time ago, in Pervia the fair, there lived a beautiful maiden. No, I am not sure she was a maiden, might have been a tart for all I know. But I digress...

This maiden was lovely to look upon, a delight to hold.. but she had one major flaw. Her tongue was honed to a wickedly sharp edge. She could flay the strongest of Knights with only a word. You see, a wicked warlock had cast an evil curse upon our lovely maiden. He had torn her heart out and handed it back to her in a blue bell jar. So, though our fair maiden yet lived and had her heart, everything that touched her heart turned blue and saddened her deeply.

This deep sadness caused her to feel the need to make everyone else around her feel badly too. She hated being miserable alone! So, she learned to flay everyone who came close to her with her wickedly sharp tongue.

A tongue lashing from this maiden could lay a strong man bare and leave him bleeding. It was a travesty.

Sadly, the maiden soon learned to enjoy the misery that she cast upon the masses. She learned to thrive on the bad feelings that she created wherever she went. Her heart, imprisoned within the blue jar grew more and more rotten and got smaller every day.

This went on and on until the general populace of Pervia took up arms and decided that they must do something about this travesty. Though casualties were heavy, they fought on and on. Unfortunately, this was not the answer, as the maiden fed off the bad feelings of others, her tongue grew sharper still with each person she battled.

At long last the King of all Pervia sent out a proclamation:

Desperately seeking a Knight of such valor, strength and fortitude as can take the lashings of an accursed Maiden. A Knight of such purity that his heart can break the blue bell jar and release the Maidens heart before it disappears entirely. A Knight that is willing to undertake this perilous task.
In reward, the King will abdicate Her throne and turn over rulership of Pervia to this Knight, and give him the hand of the Maiden .. or whatever other body part he might want...

Years go by

No such Knight appears...

None can withstand the harpy tongue on the fair Maiden.

They all lived... unhappily.. ever after.

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Comments:

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Ewe_Wish

Sep 1 @ 1:49PM  
A fairy tale....I always love your fairy tales.....tell us some more.......like Sleeping Bitch" or Cindercranky or Goldicunt and the three bears.....................I love your fairy tales ............now I am ready for my nap time...........


Oh yea let me get the dust off this kudo and i will send it your way.
Wordsofwit

Sep 1 @ 1:52PM  
Okay, so what is it, a damsel in distress or a damned soul in regress?

It just goes to show that there is never a jabberwocky or a dragon around when you need one.
Looking4ever

Sep 1 @ 2:06PM  
Desperately seeking a Knight of such valor, strength and fortitude as can take the lashings of an accursed Maiden.

I think I would rather have a Knight tongue lashing me ....though there might be a maiden or three that, um, oh....
Ewe_Wish

Sep 1 @ 2:09PM  
My blog comment Disclaimer..............my comment was not directed at anyone .......just trying to be funny and make up some fairy tale names............My blog with my apology was in honest effort............and I wasn't trying to get a swipe in Sams blog.............that being said.............Sam You can write your next blog sleeping bitch........about me .............I am in pain.....going to take some pain med and take a nap...................btw Sleeping Bitch..........didn't die..........and i would love to kiss a prince or two..................or a knight or two....oh hell kiss a prince all night would be good too..................lol
flavorbuster

Sep 1 @ 2:16PM  
or Goldicunt
Ewe are something else I'd like to find a cunt made of gold I bet the three bears pulled a train & replied to Goldicunt all at the same time " we are rich bitch "
xquseme

Sep 1 @ 2:44PM  
I bet the three bears pulled a train
OMG!! LMFAO!!
LongLegsLooloo

Sep 1 @ 3:34PM  
You all are completely lacking in self-esteem, the ability to think and speak for youselves, and the ability to debate intelligently and logically. The ONLY rebuttal you have is to gang up, as a vicious group of the cyber VULTURES that you are, and attack and belittle and libel and defame anyone who has the gall to disagree with you, and particularly anyone who is far above and beyond in intellligence than you are.

You are really proud of yourselves, aren't you, that you can begin a blog like this one and similar ones, for the express purpose of insulting someone who is of a differing opinion from yours? Hell, and what's really REALLY odd, is that most of you do NOT, I would surmise, hold a different opinion than I do, that women shouldn't be subjected to sexual objectification. Yet you don't like the "way" I say it. Tsk tsk tsk...

You really think your little insults, innuendos, outright lies and group bashing (because NONE of you has the guts to go against me singularly..hell, you can't even faze me as a GROUP!) bothers me? LOL...

It doesn't BOTHER me..it BAFFLES me. Because I have never in my LIFE seen a snottier, more ignorant, hateful, vitriolic, acidic group of bitches and bastards assembled in one place at one time. EVER.

Now, you'd think you would have at least begun to get the childishness out of your respective systems by now.

So, on that note, is anyone NOW up to the challenge of answering, in an ADULT manner, what is so HORRIFIC about my statement that...

I don't think women should be sexually objectified or be the brunt of sexual innuendos and jokes?

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

featherone

Sep 1 @ 3:37PM  
you see looloo why you starting on this blog? they not even talking about you! stop ya crying geeshhhh enough all ready
LongLegsLooloo

Sep 1 @ 3:41PM  
Featherone, please. Don't even try.
featherone

Sep 1 @ 3:53PM  
Cant answer a simple question!
McBunman

Sep 1 @ 4:07PM  
I have disagreed with people on here before. It has even gotten a little heated a time or two, with some name calling. But at a certain point I have, and the other people involved as well, either just agreed to disagree, or just dropped it and moved on to other topics. Sometimes you just need to lighten up and let it go.
max49

Sep 1 @ 4:24PM  
Okay so I take it that you think that I am one of those bastards as well. Okay maybe I am a bastard but I want to tell you something you skank ass whore. I told you yesterday that I agree with you on some of what you said and you just keep spouting off bullshit. I agree that women shouldn't be the brunt of jokes but that's exactly what they are JOKES!!! I don't think there is one person here that will disagree with you on that. There are alot of pretty shitty jokes about men around as well but I don't hear any men pissing and moaning about it but then you have to come in here calling people that have up until now kept quiet and not said anything names like bitches and bastards. How in the hell can you justify a remark like that about anyone that has done nothing to you. To me that is exactly what I mean about spouting bullshit. If you have a problem with someone or someone has a problem with you then take it up between the two of you but why in the hell do you have to call people that have nothing to do with it names. There are alot of good people here. Maybe just maybe if you came in and really showed as much grace and intelligence as you seem to think you have people wouldn't be going off on you. I for one resent the fact that you call me and others that have had nothing to do with this situation bitches and bastards. I thought you were more intelligent than that but it takes more than big words to be intelligent. Hell as far as I know you are probably looking in the dictionary to find these words because I doubt you even know what they mean otherwise. You were talking earlier about someone growing some balls and taking on the so called clique. Well sister let me tell you I have taken on the so called clique and it wasn't pretty but I did manage to survive and the people here are good people. If I don't agree with someone I don't comment on their blogs as you have noticed I have never commented on any of yours. Oh that's right. I couldn't anyway because you have to approve all comments first and just post the ones YOU like. I suggest you take some Pepto Bismol for your diarrhea mouth and go back to your Webster's dictionary to learn a few more big words to make you look intelligent and not take every blog as being directed at you. If you don't like it here move the fuck on. I'm sure there won't be any tears shed over you leaving. Otherwise stop your pissing and moaning and move on to another blog. This has been done to death and your intelligence is quickly turning to stupidity.Hmm let's see,

Half are scammers.......that's 50%

A fourth are prick teasers.......That's 25%.......Total 75%

Another fourth can't get laid.....That's another 25%.........Total 100%

The rest are here for entertainment.... Who the hell is left.

I guess you didn't major in math.

Now shut the fuck up woman, man or whatever the hell you are. You were entertaining but now you are just showing your ignorance.
Sorry everyone but I'm sick of her pissing and moaning.
theSkwirl

Sep 1 @ 4:29PM  
If you call a skunk a rose, is it gonna smell any nicer?

If you are certain I was speaking of you.. and it could not be about anything BUT you, then who is it with the issue?

I write faerie tales.. check em out. I think most were under another name.. but I might have one or two in here.

Ahhh such is life I reckon.. can't write nuttin witout being in trubble round dese hyar parts.
flavorbuster

Sep 1 @ 4:45PM  
I think he was referring to long peg a doo-doo but if not I'll just mosey right along
Looking4ever

Sep 1 @ 4:58PM  
witout being in trubble round dese hyar parts.

I've got some parts you can be in and it wouldn't be any trubble for me, I assure you...
alybai42

Sep 1 @ 5:23PM  
Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?


Peat and repeat were on a bridge peat fell off who was left?
theSkwirl

Sep 1 @ 5:48PM  
Be right witcha L4E.. I gotta check out Ibetammy's boobs and itty kitty. Don't want her all fussin and sayin how I'm not an equal opportunity Skwirl.

Ewe_Wish

Sep 1 @ 6:17PM  
Hey don't forget to keep some time out for me Skwirl........you know how much i love your bushy tail........


And Father Max..........my goodness darling, I haven't seen you this pissed........well in a hellava long time......now be a good boy and take off those speedos and go to my room.........
theSkwirl

Sep 1 @ 6:25PM  
*hangs out the take a number cards*
sugarnspice005

Sep 1 @ 6:28PM  
I thought it was an awesome fairy tale. So happy to see Skwirl writing again, she has such a talent for it.

Someone got a little touchy...geez!
NightOfOld

Sep 1 @ 6:53PM  

Here's my greeny for a good tale.
soft_touch938

Sep 1 @ 8:44PM  
So, on that note, is anyone NOW up to the challenge of answering, in an ADULT manner, what is so HORRIFIC about my statement that...

Hey lady...I'll go head to head with ya....no pun intended....take me on if ya think ya can...but lets see how ADULT YOU can be about it...Hmmmmmmmmmm???
dmbchick420

Sep 2 @ 10:38AM  
Here's a thought....

if we are all idiots and our opinions don't matter, then why keep on trying to prove yourself? If it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, why waste so much time and energy trying to prove you are right? I mean really....why?

Anyways....it's all become very boring and repetitive talk. I don't think I have ever encountered someone online that is so determined to prove everyone wrong and prove that they are right.....there are some sort of underlying issues there. That's just my opinion though.

Other than that......I got nothing
BlueEyes708

Sep 2 @ 11:00AM  
I loved you fairy Tale, maybe you can occasionally reprint the others.

I'm leaving you a greenie

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Once Upon A Time, In Pervia