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Do you have love deal breakers? If so, what are they? And Why?

posted 8/31/2009 4:11:58 PM |
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  maxman41

If you were in love would there be anything that you could learn about your beloved that would basically end your relationship? and If so what would it be? Aand why?

So I'll share mine,

Abortion.
If she's aborted then I don't think I could love a person who could think it was excusable for a parent to murder their offspring.

Past history of serial cheating.
Just like to be considered a serial killer you need three or more past offenses, if I found out by whatever means, finding out through mutual friends or even her telling me that she's at least cheated three times before I think I'd be to worried that for anyone who didn't know what she wanted whose to say she'd be done cheating with me. Why be with someone if you want someone else? It's rude to the other person to think they could be so inconsiderate to anothers feelings, their heart and so on. Right?

Cosmetic Surgery.
I'm okay if someone's in need of surgery because they're deformed in some manner, like a cleft lip, cleft palate or even an ingrowth of some kind. But going and getting a surgical procedure done simply because you think smaller this or a bigger that will make you complete, I don't buy it. I'm all for the natural look. I've liked girls with small boobs and girls who had big boobs too. I don't date boobs. And yes I've even been with some big girls. I cant say I've been with an obese women but to be honest I haven't met one that I was into, mainly because with most women who are obese being that size effects their confidence and it's easy for them to be on the defensive. But I'm not counting it out. And I'm as skinny as a pole. But before I sound self righteous let me add that I'm currently single so obviously none of my relationships no matter what body type the girl was they had not worked out. So basically I figure most people who turn to cosmetic surgery have bigger problems then what on the surface. But I think the only way I could bend this rule is if for whatever reason it was done before you were 18 then I think okay maybe you just didn't know any better.

So please, try to be honest. Even if all you wanna do is discus my reasons then just try to make sense then be mean and calling me names.

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Do you have love deal breakers? If so, what are they? And Why?


Comments:

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Ewe_Wish

Aug 31 @ 4:31PM  
Well its your reasons for ruling things out..................................................is your business.................but I think abortion and cosmetic surgery is a poor excuse not tobe with someone if you have no clue what the circumstances are behind them doing either one.................and it couldn't be much of a relationship if that is all it would take to break it up......


There is very little that would break up a relationship for me...................if it got that far as to call it a relationship ..........I should already be aware of the stuff that would bother me...........................for a matter of fact the things that would cause problems i would know before the second date therefore no second date................................but if i am already in a relationship......dishonesty and cheating ......that would end it.
LongLegsLooloo

Aug 31 @ 5:02PM  
Any type of cheating whatsoever. Fuck around on me once, you're out. No three strikes to it. Any lying whatsoever. BTDT...won't tolerate it ever again. I don't cheat, and I don't lie, and I expect...demand...the same respect in return.
Wordsofwit

Aug 31 @ 5:46PM  
There are a lot of things that could come up, many tied to mental instability.
ksk72

Aug 31 @ 5:46PM  
What is in a persons past is just that in the past I wouldn't hold that against them. Only major deal breakers for me is he has to be ok with my son and the fact I have dogs. The dogs seem to be the harder of the two to deal with since they are not only pets but part of my career as well.
Itsasecret13

Aug 31 @ 6:26PM  
I am sure everyone has some deal breakers, but you do name some good ones. I think the cosmetic surgery is the weakest and abortion the strongest. I am slightly surprised that a woman would be for murdering the most defenseless of all and her own offspring. But the irresponsible do it everyday.
Ewe_Wish

Aug 31 @ 6:54PM  
I am slightly surprised that a woman would be for murdering the most defenseless of all and her own offspring. But the irresponsible do it everyday.
Oh i agree.........those bitches that go out and get themselves raped and than get pregnant they should carry those babies to term.......or those babies that are found that when born will have crippling diseases that will end up in institutions..........oh yea.......lets bring them on too...........damn women who show no repsonsibility............let those babies be brought into the world that no body wants and our tax money can go to support them...........
sugarnspice005

Aug 31 @ 7:18PM  
Deal breakers for me:

Pedophile
Alcoholic----------dated one once, never again.
Hates animals. Sorry, I've had my dogs far too long to part with them for anyone.
Disrespects my family continously
aftershox

Aug 31 @ 7:53PM  
Malice, hypocrisy and fanaticism.
LongLegsLooloo

Aug 31 @ 7:56PM  
I'll add I also would NEVER tolerate a man whose dealbreaker would be a woman who's had an abortion...and it doesn't have to be because she was raped, or because the baby might have been born with a severe handicap,either.

I personally believe a woman, if she's going to have an abortion, should already have made that decision long before she finds herself in the unfortunate circumstance of an unplanned pregnacy, and should have it as soon as she finds out she's pregnant.

While I don't support second- and third-trimester abortions except in the case of imminent danger to the health of the mother and/or baby, whether or not a woman wants to bring a pregnancy to term is entirely up to her. Aborting an embryo is not akin to killing a child, not in any respect.

aftershox

Aug 31 @ 7:57PM  
I am not sure if I made my point, but in any relationship I do not tolerate the following flaws:

Malice, hypocrisy and fanaticism.
Wordsofwit

Aug 31 @ 8:04PM  
There are a lot of deal breakers. Why else do so many deals get broken? It takes a few months in many cases for them to surface as every one is usually on their best behavior.

BTW, thank you very much for putting some thought into your first blog and welcome aboard!
Ewe_Wish

Aug 31 @ 8:07PM  
I can't believe I am saying this..............but finally LooLoo and I agree on something.............and thank you LooLoo for expressing it in a polite, non abrasive way.
maxman41

Aug 31 @ 8:08PM  
@ksk72
I understand but don't you think that by the time you start using the word "love" you would have known by then if the guy has a problem with kids or dogs? I mean because I could also say verbal and physical abuse wold be deal breakers but then I think those issues would be spotted before I started using the word "love".

@Ewe_Wish
Don't you think it's pretty weak to use money for a reason to end life? I mean tax dollars? come on. And as for the fact that some of these kids being in foster care, isn't that more of an issue for the government to care for these kids enough that they're better prepared for the world by the time they reach eighteen years old and tossed into the streets?

@sugarnspice005
I think pedophilia is a good one. Not that it's common for women to be into underage boys but I'm sure for a woman to be with a man who's into underage girls or boys is one of those things along with alcoholism that one could find out about a little to late.
LongLegsLooloo

Aug 31 @ 8:17PM  
EweW, I'm only abrasive when people are abrasive to me, or if the subject matter in general rubs me the wrong way. I am a major proponent of the death penalty, for example, and I make no apologies whatseover for that. As far as being abrasive with regard to that subject, I think anyone who is a criminal who would do anything to harm anyone, especially murder them, is a low life piece of scum who doesn't deserve to share the same planet with other human beings and who are definitely justification for abortion (in hindsight, of course, which is kind of a moot point). But I suppose some might find those sentimens "abrasive." Oh, well. Build a bridge and get over it, is all I can say. There are issues I'm very passionate about, and that's one of them. The mistreatment of women, animals and children are some others.
Wordsofwit

Aug 31 @ 8:28PM  
I think those issues would be spotted before I started using the word "love".

Unfortunately, there are a lot of people with what I call a fast food mentality when it comes to romance and the "L" word flies out there much too rapidly. This is, sadly, not at all uncommon. There are also users with a trained eye for the emotionally needy that know exactly when to play that card to their benefit.

There are many excellent blogs on the subject. I posted this blog recently that is related. You may not have seen it.

Sorry if I drifted off topic, but I do see a tie in to your post.
maxman41

Aug 31 @ 8:29PM  
@LongLegsLooloo
Would you EVER forgive a man for breaking up with a love because she had an abortion past the stage of being an embryo? I mean you write "I personally believe a woman, if she's going to have an abortion, should already have made that decision long before she finds herself in the unfortunate circumstance of an unplanned pregnancy, and should have it as soon as she finds out she's pregnant." but don't you think if one really didn't want to have kids they'd plan out long before not to be in the situation of having to decide to have an abortion by getting prophylactics for all the partners in the relationship, birth control, the pill kind or the injection. I mean is it so hard for one to say, "I don't want to have sex until we're prepared for sex". I mean God forbid the relationship depends on sex, I mean who has sex accidentally?

@Wordsofwit
Thanks

@aftershox
Point taken.
LongLegsLooloo

Aug 31 @ 8:35PM  
Sure, I could forgive him. But be involved with him? Not likely, not unless he's changed his mind about women who have had abortions.

That there are oodles of ways to prevent pregnancy is really a nonissue, in a way. I mean, an ounce of prevention IS worth a pound of cure, right? Goes without saying.

For whatever reason...stupidity, laziness, too horny to wait, or that the BC simply just failed (which does happen on occasion), women DO find themselves facing unplanned pregancies (especially teens) at alarming rates.

I'm glad that, being a scared, pregnant teen a few weeks' shy of 17, I had various options available to me, and that no one forced me into making a decision I didn't want to make.
Ewe_Wish

Aug 31 @ 8:41PM  
@Ewe_Wish
Don't you think it's pretty weak to use money for a reason to end life? I mean tax dollars? come on. And as for the fact that some of these kids being in foster care, isn't that more of an issue for the government to care for these kids enough that they're better prepared for the world by the time they reach eighteen years old and tossed into the streets?
Guess you missed the sarcasm..........but why would anyone want to bring a child into this world that would be institutionalized.....and very few people can pay for private care..........have you ever been in those state run institutions? Those children are not treated well.....and they can't even speak out to complain...........but thats off the topic.........the point I was making is that abortion is legal........and it should be.........I do believe in first trimester abortions.......but not second or third.....unless mother's life in danger........but who is anyone to mandate what a woman can do with her own body........and by law the baby is not a baby until its born.................I would never have an abortion myself..........but that's for me personally.........I do believe in the choice...........and again like loo loo said.........I wouldn't want to be with any man who even thought he had the right to forgive an abortion...........JNHO
shewolf53

Aug 31 @ 8:44PM  
I do not tolerate people well who are narrow minded, religious fanatics, right wing radicals, or think they can run over me. I am a pretty laid back easy going person most of the time but anyone who sees that as a weakness had better think again. For me those would be the real deal breakers. The first ones because I am a pagan hippie liberal just do not mesh well with my personality. Oh yeah and those who cheat should remember I do have an Irish / Lakota temper when pushed too far.
31sunshine

Aug 31 @ 9:23PM  
Very good question.

My deal breakers are:
Alcoholism/recreational drug use of any kind- and I don't mean a drink here or there. I mean someone who alcohol is a constant part of their life.

Abuse - physical or mental. It only takes 1 time and it would be the last time.

Manipulation and liars - Trust is the number one thing with me and if I can't trust you I can't love you. They just go hand in hand for me. As for manipulation, these are people who use manipulation to get their way in life. BTDT

casuallylooking

Sep 1 @ 1:56AM  
Yes, I have deal breakers.

Physical, mental or emotional abuse.
Alcoholism or drug addiction.
Pedophile or in any way abussive to children.

I could also say verbal and physical abuse wold be deal breakers but then I think those issues would be spotted before I started using the word "love".
Not always.... that's why so many women have a difficult time leaving their abuser. He didn't start out that way until he knows he has her. And then after she's hooked when he's not being abusive to her, he's as sweet as pie.

And I have to admit, I completely agree with Ewe and LooLoo about the abortion issue.





StraddleMyNose

Sep 1 @ 2:30AM  
I try to overlook some stuff like religion and where someone stands with their political beliefs. Sometimes though it just doesn't go, and I found that those two issues can be a deal breaker for me anymore. Guess I don't have much tolerance for certain things. Another is they must be a pet lover, the love for cats especially. If their not, I don't see a future with them. Another one would be if they were a heavy smoker. I cannot tolerate that either.
Itsasecret13

Sep 1 @ 10:32AM  
I am assuming that being a pagan hippy liberal has been makes murder okay? I see being a sheep does, but sheep are one of the more stupid animals in the barn yard. Not once did I mention religion in my comment, I am not a particularly religious person. I believe, but I am not a church goer. Be that as it may, the willful killing of a human being for no more reason than they may be inconveinient or for profit or anything other than self defense is murder under the law in some form or fashion. If the law were read at it's most direct, premeditated and willful killing of a defenseless person is first degree murder in most states. Abortion fits the criteria.

p.s. the hippies passed from the scene by 1970 or '71 at the latest. Just a tip in case case you were unaware of that.

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Do you have love deal breakers? If so, what are they? And Why?