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Update on me and my daughter

posted 8/23/2009 11:12:14 PM |
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tagged: daughter, rant, money, straddle

Natasha called me Friday to see if I had changed my mind about co-signing that bank loan for her. I told her no, I'm still not signing. She then backed off this and wanted to know if I could loan her some money to help fix part of her car, and to buy her some loose clothing such as a couple of jogging pants and shirts since she's almost 5 months pregnant. Btw, her due date is Jan. 2, but they may induce her labor between Dec. 26 - Jan 2. I told her that I will buy some clothes for her, but that Friday won't work for me, and that I'll see her Saturday instead. She had no problem with that. She said that she would come down in the morning and I told her no, make it 1:30pm. She then said that her nurse (caring for Alex) would be leaving at 4pm and that she would have to leave here from my house at 3pm to make it back before then. She also said that she was going to drop off her bf at his parents house so he could get some yardwork done for them. I then started thinking that we can then go buy her the clothes she needs while she's down here and I can get that KFC that I owe her and spend a father-daughter day even if it's for a couple of hours at the most. She did want me to call this loan place so we could find out what her interest rate would be if someone does decide to co-sign this loan fow her. I told her that with places like that it would be around 21% or more. She asked me what a good one right now would be, and I told her about 8-9% at the most. So we called and she asked the woman and the woman told her 25%. After we hung up I told her NO WAY IN HELL., that's highway robbery would I take that loan out if I was her. It would taker her forever to pay back that loan. She still wants to go this route and try to establish her credit. Well anyway, Saturday comes, and shortly after 1:30pm she calls off his parents cell phone that she has with her and I asked her where she was at. She said that she was in town, but at the hospital with her Br (Branden) because as he was cutting wood for his dad, he got some saw dust in his eye. I thought ya gotta be kidding me. Anyway, both of them arrive here around 2:30pm to where we didn't even have enough time to do anything. I told her that when she comes back down we'll get some KFC and all that, and that. She said that She's interviewing another nurse Monday and that as soon as she hires this newer nurse she will spend the day with me. She also said that Braden could make a trip down as well so I can get to know him better. I thought to myself, you're kidding me, right? Then thought that I don't really have an interest in knowing this guy. I really don't care for him all that much. But what came out of my mouth was that she still owes me a father-daughter day by ourselves. I did give her $40 to get a few of her clothes with when she was here. I'm going to have to have a little talk with her about where she needs to consider my feelings a little more than what she does already. Now, she did need some clothes since it's been a while since she's gotten any at all, and that I don't regret helping her out with. I'm not going to go out of my way anymore to help her all that much until she starts showing some graditude and responsibility.

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Aug 23 @ 11:58PM  

Sounds like you've got things under control Shawn. Good for you.

Aug 24 @ 4:37AM  
that's very generous of you mr. nose. i told my parents today that
i'm very sorry i didn't make 40 million dollars by the time i was
twenty one and set them up in rancho santa fe with maids and servants
where they could live in the style they are accustomed to. wouldn't it
be great to have kids like britney spears, who pay you 2 be their dad.
mr. spears makes about 40 thousand dollars a month as britney's
conservator and guide. britney is such a generous person.
what a nice lady. and talented beyond belief. she is so grateful
and responsible. she was so glad to have her life saved by so many.
thanks especially to her dad. sniffles. got me going misty blue.

Aug 24 @ 7:00AM  
I know it's hard, but you have to listen to your gut and do what's best for YOU when your kiddos are acting selfish and self-absorbed. My son (age 22) and I have been doing this dance for the last 4 years and although he doesn't hit me up for money every time he sees me, he will still call at the last minute to cancel our plans, or arrive too late for us to do anything we had planned for that day.

I did give him a dose of his own medicine one day few months ago and I cancelled our plans on purpose, which was very hard for me to do, but he has been a lot better ever since that day.

You gotta give them tough love if their ever going to grow up...JMHO.

Aug 24 @ 9:05AM  
See? She didn't stay mad too long. Helping her out with little things like clothes, that's cool. My credit has taken a hit because of this rotten economy..and all I've got to say is this: I have to rebuild my credit on my own, and she can build up her credit on her own. It can be tough, but worth it in the long run.

Aug 24 @ 9:12AM  
What they ^^^^ said. Your doing what a loving, resourceful dad should do!

Aug 24 @ 12:14PM  
Shawn, I can't say what you did is right or wong, you have to figure that out in your own heart.
But I do agree with what you did.

But what came out of my mouth was that she still owes me a father-daughter day by ourselves.
And without sounding harsh to her, that was the truth.
I absolutely love my son in law, but there are still times I want to spend time with just my daughter.

I'm not going to go out of my way anymore to help her all that much until she starts showing some graditude and responsibility.
And maybe some respect towards you.
Best wishes....


Aug 25 @ 9:24AM  
Shawn, I love ya but, sometimes when I read these things I feel my blood pressure go up. I swear to god, some guys have more baggage then women!! How you can't see that she is using you, I'll never know. Yes she is your daughter, but a user is a user. She needs to get a life, and that scum of a boyfriend she has needs to step up to the plate and support his family!! And you sir Straddle need to get a BACKBONE!!

Please don't take offense, but right now you are reminding me of someone that I was seeing, and god I couldn't get rid of him fast enough!!

Take care and hope things work out for you, and your road gets smoother between father and daughter, xoxo

Aug 25 @ 9:44AM  
And you sir Straddle need to get a BACKBONE!!
Zena, I have a backbone. Even though the girl is her worst own enemy, I feel that I need to help her out with some basic essentials for now. With what she's gone through growing up, and then with Alex, that's the least I can do. However, I do see her for what she is. There is no doubt that she is a user, and the girl hangs with losers her biggest part of the time. About three years ago I didn't want to think she was capable of using anyone, especially me. I do see it, and I plan on making some changes to try to break her of the nasty habit of using me and others, and taking us for granted. The girl is in for a rude ass awakening very VERY soon. I will keep everyone posted when I decide to pull the trigger on this situation.

Aug 25 @ 4:14PM  
big huggs there Shawn, I didn't mean to come off mean, but I hate when I hear people getting used, it really bothers me!! Take care, xo

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Update on me and my daughter